Years later
by WallflowerWeasley
Summary: Sam now lives in New York. She meets someone she never thought she would see again. Rated T for now, may be changed to M later. Read and review!
1. Chapter 1: Broken and Saved

Hi readers! A new Charlie and Sam story! I'm gonna rate it T for now, but I might change it to M if the plot requires a lemon or swearing. PS: this story is not related to my other stories. Completely different. Another life. Enjoy and review!

Sam PoV:

I miserably drank my coffee, which didn't taste very good, in the fancy cafe I chose to waste my money on. I looked around the outdoor joint, and saw different people doing different things. There was a woman rambling on the phone and doing something on a laptop and tackling a very cranky two-year-old all at the same time. There was a fat guy who was apparently on a date, but didn't pay attention to the woman with him, because he was having a really good time eating. The woman looked like she would give anything just to leave the place, but there was probably something that held her back. Maybe someone set her up. That couldn't have been the case, that woman was waaaaayyy out of his league. There was a guy with really dark shades on, he was wearing a white shirt and jeans and white sneakers. He was sort of, sexy. Now I'm not a slut or anything, but that's the way it is. He looked like he was thinking about something as he absent-mindedly drank his coffee or whatever. New York was really weird that way. All kinds of people lived here, happy people, sad people, and some people who are just lost. Almost... Incomplete. I was probably one of those people. Sometimes it gets too hard to keep up with everything that goes on here and I get homesick. But I never went back, I stayed and worked and pretended everything's okay, because that was the thing to do. I thought about everything I'd left behind in Pittsburgh, Mom and Dad (we had a fight when I told them I was moving to New York. And I never spoke to them again), Patrick, who eventually moved to San Francisco, and someone I wish I could stop thinking about so much. Charlie. He got an amazing scholarship in a great college in Canada, I think he got published too, he went and never came back. Well, if he did, he chose not to see me. I calculated his age, twenty four. He left when he was eighteen and now he'd be twenty four. As I thought about our lives and how everything changed and how I never saw one of the- no, the single most important person in my life, I came to terms with how alone I was in this city full of people. And I wanted to change that. Not by meeting Charlie, of course, I'd given up hope on ever seeing him again a long time back. I didn't know how I wanted to not be alone. Maybe I could go up and talk to the lady with the two year old. No. I looked around the place and my eyes settled on the guy with the really dark shades again. Somehow watching him made me feel better, so I decided to do just that. I watched how he rolled his sleeves up in the heat, how he took out a pen and started scribbling on the tissue, and frowned when he ran out of space, and desperately looked through his backpack to look for another paper to scribble on. He scowled when he didn't find anything and muttered something to himself. Watching him was suddenly making me restless for some reason, so I paid the bill and headed out. I wasn't watching my way and they had very strategically put a pole in the middle of the terrace, so my ankle banged into it and I fell. My foot felt like it had been crushed by a truck, I was sure I had broken my ankle. I cursed loudly and someone grabbed my shoulders and helped me up, I flinched and cursed again and he (I could tell it was a guy because of his shoes) quickly grabbed my waist and put my arm around his shoulders. He helped me go to the elevator, and for some reason I didn't stop him. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I didn't care, being with him made me feel less alone, and my foot hurt a lot so I was glad someone was nice enough to help. I didn't realise we'd entered the elevator till I heard the "Ding" sound. I leaned on this guy heavily and flinched again as I realised how bad I'd hurt my foot. I gasped and squeezed his shoulder tighter when I felt the pain go to a whole new level. I looked up at him for the first time since my little...incident. He'd forgotten to take his shades off, but I could see lines of worry on his forehead. I wasn't used to people worrying about me like that. I couldn't help but flinch again, it just hurt so much. I looked at him again and he opened his mouth but closed it, I heard him mutter something to himself, catching the word "stupid".

He started, "Is it bad?" He sounded familiar, I couldn't remember where I'd heard his voice, the pain took my ability to think.

I said, "Yeah. I think I've broken my ankle. Who puts a pole in the middle of the terrace?" He laughed a nervous laugh that ringed a bell, I just don't know where I'd heard it.

"I live close by, can I take you to my house?" It was nice of him to ask, but I couldn't have gone to his house. I didn't even know him! I'd just politely say no.

"Thank you for the help, but I'll be fine. I can manage. Believe me." I thought I sounded convincing, he should believe me.

"I'm not letting you go like this, you can't even stand on your own! I know we're strangers and I might be a bad guy with bad intentions, which I'm not believe me. I'll drop you wherever you want to go, just let me show you to a doctor. I promise I'll let you go." He choked on the word "strangers" and I tried to convince myself that it was a happy coincidence and that it could've been any other word. I grumbled an "okay" but I soon realised I had nowhere to go to. I had had a big fight with Dean and he'd told me to leave and get my stuff later. I felt so stupid for selling my old apartment, because I couldn't afford it anymore. But he had been my boyfriend for four years, I thought I'd have my grand kids with him. I was starting to lose faith in the whole idea of love. It always let you down. I couldn't think about that anymore as pain in my ankle blinded me and I groaned louder than I should have. "Oh yeah, something's definitely broken."

"You'll be fine you said. You'll manage you said." The guy muttered. I snorted.

"I'm coming with you! God, you're sensitive." I said sarcastically. He laughed loudly.

He somehow managed to get me to his building where he asked for the doctor to come right away. The really weird thing was that the receptionist (it was a fancy kind of building) treated him like royalty, and that's when I realised I had forgotten to ask his name. I didn't get the chance because he picked me up and carried me to his house. How he managed to open the door while carrying a woman in his arms, I don't know. He put me down in his living room love-seat and put a cushion underneath my foot. He was starting to leave. I had to ask who he was.

"Hey! What's your name?"

He chuckled and said something weird, "I didn't think you'd recognise me. It's been so many years." I gave him a questioning look. We'd met before? How did I know him? He walked towards me and came closer to my face. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he didn't.

He took his sunglasses off, and I gasped. Everything started spinning and I couldn't breath. I gained control of myself and stared back into those blues eyes I knew only too well. A name escaped my mouth.

"Charlie."


	2. Chapter 2: Together At Last

AN: hi guys! Sorry I took longer to update. I had my braces taken off you see... Anyway, this is chapter 2! A lot of this story is Sam's PoV, though I might add Charlie's PoV too at some point. Enjoy and review!

...and I stared into those blue eyes I knew only too well. A name escaped my mouth.

"Charlie."

He smiled and said, "Hey Sam."

I made sure he wasn't smiling for too long, I got so angry I started hitting him, "WHERE... THE... HELL... WERE... YOU? DO... YOU... KNOW HOW... MUCH... I... MISSED...YOU? YOU... INCONSIDERATE... LITTLE... COCKROACH!" I hit him with every word I said, and he took my beating without saying anything. I stopped hitting him and sat there, fuming. I looked at him from the corner of my eye, and I felt bad, because he looked genuinely sad. Maybe he had wanted to come back, but maybe he couldn't.

I stretched my arms out and he flinched back but realised I was only reaching out to hug him, so he put his arms around my waist and I put mine around his shoulders. He kept whispering that he was sorry and he missed me. I whispered back, "I'm sorry I lashed out at you. I just missed you." He hugged me tighter than he had been, sighed and said, "I missed you too. I'm sorry I didn't meet you. It's just, whenever I came, you were never there. And then this publisher really liked my book, and I got busy with the marketing and writing more books. So, about two months back, I decided to move closer to home, so I moved here last month."

"Best decision you ever made." I said, and he laughed. We parted and sat in silence for some time. My eyes wandered around the living room, and settled on the coffee table. I saw a typewriter on the table with a paper in it, and I saw a bunch of papers lying next to it. The typewriter looked a lot like the one I gifted him at Christmas. Charlie saw me looking at it and said, "Do you remember that night in your room, on Christmas?" I remembered. I remembered everything, when I gave him that typewriter, and when we kissed, I didn't know why, but thinking about it made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

I nodded, and said, "Of course I remember. Is this the typewriter I gave you?"

"Yeah, I had to get it fixed a couple of times, but I still love it. I wrote my all my books on it. It still works great."

"Are you working on something new?"

"Yeah, I'm just putting some ideas together. It's my first draft for "The Slut and The Falcon"." I laughed, he couldn't have meant it.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna make you solve crimes. It's my first thriller novel."

"Oh my god. You're crazy, do you know that?"

"I know that." He replied, and we laughed. There was a knock on the door and Charlie went to open it. He came back with an old man, the doctor.

"Hello. What seems to be the problem?"

Charlie told him what happened and and sat on the love-seat, and I used him as a backrest. The doctor checked my foot, and it hurt so much. I groaned and grabbed Charlie's shirt, and he held me around my shoulders.

The doctor was quiet for some time. He said, "I think you have broken your foot. But we need an X-Ray as soon as possible so that we know for sure. And young man, you need to take her to a bedroom, she can't stay here! Come to the hospital when you get the X-Ray, she might need a plaster." Charlie nodded and went out with the doctor. He came back and without saying anything carried me upstairs. He took me to a bedroom with a white bed and an TV on the opposite wall.

"Is this your room?"

"Yeah. I would have gone to the guest room, but I don't have one. It's a two-bedroom house. There's a study right next to this room. But don't worry, I'll take the couch."

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch! You can sleep here if you don't have an extra bedroom."

"But Sam..."

"Charlie, I am not going to let you sleep on the couch. Deal with it."

"Fine."

We talked all afternoon. He told me a lot about his life after he left. College was very good, he got a full academic scholarship, and he wrote his first novel in his senior year. He soon got published and wrote a bunch of other novels. He said he liked Canada, but at times he got really homesick, but he didn't come back, he stayed and worked and pretended everything was okay, because that was the thing to do (I swear these were his exact words).

"What about your love life?"

"What about it?"

"You know, girlfriends?"

"Uh...well... I don't know... I dated a lot of girls, but no one ever seemed to..."

"Connect?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"So, how did you decide to move here?"

"Things just got really crazy there, it got too much to handle. The weather, the people, all that French, overbearing publishers, my crappy house, everything. I needed a change, and I needed to be closer to home, to everyone I love, so I bought this house and moved."

"Yeah, I know what that's like. That's kind of why I moved here, too."

"That's everything I had to tell. What about you?"

"Well... I graduated from Penn State and lived with my parents for a while, you were gone by the time I came. I waited for you for nine months but you didn't come. Patrick moved to San Francisco, he works for a record label there. He met a nice guy too, they moved in together a while back. He wants to start a label of his own soon. Well, I lived with my parents for a while, but like you said things got really crazy. I didn't have anything to do, you weren't there, Patrick moved away, everything. So I figured things out and got a job here, when I told my parents we had a big fight, so I didn't speak to them again after that. Eventually I got an apartment, and things got better. Then I met a guy, and we moved in after dating for two years. We lived together for another two years. I sold my apartment five months ago, it was probably the biggest mistake I ever made."

"Why?"

"We broke up today. And he told me to leave." Charlie looked really angry. I probably shouldn't have told him I didn't have a place to stay.

"Hey, don't be mad. I'll get better and work and when I can afford my apartment, I'll buy it back. Relax, Charlie."

"You're staying with me till you get better and get your house back. Not just tonight." I didn't think I could win if I argued with him, so I agreed. We talked some more and he made pasta for dinner. It was really good. We watched a movie, and by the time we were done, it was one in the morning.

"Okay, Sam. I think we should sleep. We have to get your X-Ray done tomorrow. Take some rest."

I made a puppy dog face and said like a kid, "Okay mommy." He chuckled and climbed in beside me. I turned my head to face him, he was looking at me. I had a giddy feeling, sleeping in the same bed with him, which I was going to do for a while. There was a small gap between our faces and I wondered what would it be like if I closed it. I shook that thought out of my head, I couldn't do it. He put his hand on my cheek and leaned in and kissed my forehead, and said, "Goodnight Sam."

"Goodnight." He turned so his back was facing me, and I closed my eyes, and fell asleep in an instant.

I woke up next morning, and it took me a minute to remember what happened. I met Charlie after years yesterday, broke my foot and slept with him (not that way! Perverts). I looked to my side, he wasn't there. I sat up with some difficulty and he entered with a tray.

"Good morning." He said and smiled.

I smiled and said good morning.

"How's your foot?"

"Bad."

"Okay. Here, have some breakfast we'll go get your foot fixed. How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good. How about you?"

"I slept well." He said simply. We had breakfast, talked some, and he took the dishes and went out of the room. He came back in a couple of minutes later, and I said, "Um, Charlie? Can you help me go to the bathroom?" A look of understanding washed over his face, and he nodded. He came over to the bed, and gently lifted my foot up and placed it on the carpeted floor carefully, but it still hurt. He sat down next to me and put one arm around my back, and one arm around my front. I put my arm around his shoulder, and he tightened his grip and lifted me up, and I held his shoulder blade with my free hand for extra support. As he helped me up, I felt his nose and lips brush against my cheek, I turned my head to face him and his lips brushed mine so slightly I thought I could have been mistaken. But I knew his lips too well to be mistaken. We stared into each other's eyes for a couple of seconds. He looked away awkwardly and walked me to the bathroom. He supported me while I brushed my teeth and we somehow managed to get me into the shower. I hated being so helpless and dependent, but the fact that I was this way with Charlie made me feel better. I guess that's because he's my best friend.

We got the X-Ray done, even I could see I had broken my foot pretty bad, and I was no doctor. Charlie had a worried look on his face. He said, "That doesn't look very good. God, Sam. You could've been more careful." We went to the hospital, and he insisted that I go on a wheelchair. Walking that much was a stupid idea, so I agreed reluctantly.

The doctor looked concerned. He said, "Your fracture will take at least a month and a half to heal, and you have another two weeks of bed rest after that. I'll give you a plaster, and I can tell your..."

"Best friend." I filled in.

"Yes, I can give your best friend all the things he needs to keep in mind. I'm prescribing you a painkiller if it hurts too much, but it's only SOS..." He explained everything we needed to take care of, and gave me the plaster. The process was excruciating, I almost tore Charlie's shirt, I was holding it so tight. His arm never left my shoulders. I was wheeled back to the parking lot, and we drove home. I leaned heavily on Charlie, and he helped me limp to his apartment. I asked him if I could rest on the sofa, but he said no.

"But I'll get bored!"

"I'm sorry you find my company boring."

"You're going to stay with me?"

"Of course, what did you think?"

"Oh, don't you have to work or something?"

"I can bring my work to the room."

"Oh."

He picked me up and carried me back to the bedroom. He put me down on the bed and put a cushion underneath my plastered foot. He went out and a couple of minutes later came back with his typewriter and a stack of papers. We didn't talk much, but it was still nice to know someone was there. I remembered something and saw Charlie looking at me with a questioning look.

"I don't have any clothes."

"What?"

"Charlie, all my stuff is at that guy's place. I was supposed to pick it up today, but you know...circumstances." I couldn't bring myself to say his name out loud. It didn't feel right.

"Don't worry, I'll get it. Give me his address."

"Are you sure? I mean...he might..."

"Think you hooked up with another guy that fast? Honestly, I couldn't care less, but if you want me to explain then I'll tell him about your circumstances."

"Okay." We smiled at each other. I gave him the address and he left. I rested my head against the headboard, and fell asleep.

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*Three weeks later*

I had been living in extremely close proximity with Charlie. We slept in the same bed, cuddled when my foot hurt, and had take out food and ice cream with movies we didn't watch. At times I would wake up at night in extreme pain, and he would comfort me by hugging me close to his body, and rubbing soothing circles on my back, and it actually made me feel better, and at times I would fall asleep in his arms, and wake up to find us as tangled as two people could be when one of them had a broken foot. Even though my foot was broken and I couldn't do anything without help, I was very happy, because I got to be that close to Charlie. I know it's a funny reason, but I couldn't help it. I just really liked being close to him. He took great care of all my needs, gave me my medicines on time, left anything he was doing to talk to me when I was bored.

We sometimes had moments when our faces were very close to each other, and my want, no, my need to close the distance between us increased. I wondered and daydreamed for hours, thinking about his lips on mine, kissing me hungrily and me kissing him back with equal passion, his hands all over me and my hands all over him. I didn't know why I was thinking about doing things like that with him, he was my best friend, but I had no control over my thoughts.

Charlie walked in and sat beside me on the edge of the bed.

"Hi. How're you doing?" He asked.

"I'm better, it still hurts though. I'm trying to convince myself that it's all part of the healing process." He laughed and was getting up to leave.

I stopped him and said, "Thank you, Charlie." He didn't say anything. We looked at each other. He started to lean in and I lost control over my body, I leaned in and he pressed his lips to mine, and I put my hand on his cheek. We held the position for some moments, and he pulled away, smiled and left me sitting on the bed, not being able to think anything but one question.

What just happened?

AN: I don't know if it qualifies as a cliffhanger, but I'm pretty happy with this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW MY STORIES! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


	3. Chapter

Hi guys! Sorry I'm posting an authors note chapter, but I had to inform y'all that **I have changed the rating of the one shots. It's M now, because there will be a lemon in the next one**, which I am currently in the process of writing. I'll post it soon. Review!


	4. Chapter 3: Charlie's Problem

AN: hai guys! Surprise surprise. This one is going to be a letter! I think this would be around 2000 or 2002, sorry if its inaccurate. The year, I mean. So, enjoy and review!

17 March 2002

Dear friend,

It's been so many years since I wrote to you, so I am not sure if you still live at the same address. But things are great with me. Just great. I don't really have time to tell you what all happened in my life in all these years, but I will tell you that I went to college in Canada, got published there, and moved to New York last month. I had lost touch with Sam and Patrick and everyone else, because whenever I came back home from Canada, they were all in college, so I didn't get to see them. I didn't come back home after college, I stayed in Canada. I got very sick of Canada last year, some bad things happened, so I moved to New York last month. I just realised I said that twice. Sorry.

I am writing to you because of what happened in the last three weeks. Well, you see, three weeks back, I met Sam. It wasn't the most pleasant way to meet, because she had an accident with a pole, which broke her foot. I recognised her and went to help her and convinced her to come home with me. She didn't recognise me till I took off my dark shades at home, and she started hitting me. I have to say that she was very strong for someone in that much pain, because she hit very hard. And then, she hugged me, and said she was sorry for lashing out but she just missed me a lot. I got a little emotional, but I didn't cry, I just kept telling her that I was sorry and I missed her. I'm going to skip over the details, but I think I should tell you that she got a plaster, and she is currently living with me. She is living with me because she was living with her boyfriend of four years, and during that time she sold her apartment, and they broke up and he told her to leave. She doesn't have the money to buy it back, but she said she'll work and buy it back and she told me to not get mad. Not getting mad was very hard for me, but I kept calm. I don't have a guest room in my house, because I never expected any house guests, so when I told her that I wanted her to live with me till she got her house back, I realised I didn't have a guest room. So I told her to take my room and that I'd take the couch. She said she wouldn't let me sleep on the couch, and I could sleep beside her if I didn't have an extra room. Long story short, Sam and I live together and sleep in the same bed. I would've been very happy if it weren't because of Sam's broken foot. You see, I never really stopped loving her, I just buried the feeling deep after all these years. But in these last few weeks, we've been so close, it's like my freshman year all over again.

She sometimes wakes up in a lot of pain, and not knowing how to calm her down, I just hug her close and rub circles on her back. And most nights she falls asleep in my arms, and eventually I fall asleep too. And we wake up with our arms around each other, and her head buried in my chest. It takes all my will to not kiss her, especially when Sam looks up and smiles at me. One morning she actually kissed my cheek.

But the reason I am really writing to you is what happened yesterday. I went to Sam's room to check on her and ask her how she was. She said she was better, and she was trying to convince herself that the pain was all part of the healing process. I was starting to leave, when she stopped me and said, "Thank you, Charlie." I lost control over my body when she said that. I leaned in, and was surprised when she leaned in too. She put her hand on my cheek and I put mine on her waist and pressed my lips to her. The kiss didn't last very long, but she kissed me back. When I realised what I was doing, I gently pulled away, I think I smiled and walked out. I couldn't stop thinking about what I did, and I felt bad because I didn't have her permission. Sam didn't say anything about it, but she kept giving me cautious looks, as if she expected me to kiss her again, or maybe she wanted me to say something about it.

This morning, I decided to talk to her and apologise, but she spoke first.

"Is everything okay, Charlie?"

"Yeah. Why?" I asked.

"You're just so...quiet."

"I'm always quiet. I thought you'd know that better than anyone else." She chuckled.

"I do know that better than anyone else, actually."

"Listen. Sam, I'm sorry," I blurted out. I had hoped to make a better start than this. I'm just awkward when it comes to talking.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked slowly, and looked very confused.

"For kissing you, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it." She looked even more confused.

"You're saying you're sorry because you kissed me." I nodded.

"Charlie, don't apologise. I think I would have told you if I didn't like it, and I certainly wouldn't have kissed you back."

"But I feel bad. I didn't have your permission."

"Can you imagine how stupid you would sound if you asked me, 'Hey Sam. Can I kiss you?'" She did make it sound very stupid.

"Well..."

"Oh god Charlie. Stop arguing. You know, that kiss...it was actually, um, very nice," she said, and I swear I saw her blush.

It was my turn to be confused. "Really?"

"Yeah. So I would like you to kiss me again soon, but no pressure." She shrugged. I was lost for words, Sam just said she'd like me to kiss her again soon.

I said something really smart like, "Um, uh duh..." I didn't have time to recover, because Sam shook her head and laughed. And then she did something that was very unlike her. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me in so my upper body was on top of hers and kissed me again and again. I was shocked but it didn't take me long to respond. I grinned against her lips and kissed her back. Every time her lips touched mine, they sent a thousand bolts of electricity through my body, and I held her tighter. We pulled away for air and she gave me a giddy smile. I didn't move away, and asked her, "So...what does this make us?" I pointed at our position. She put her hands on my neck and gave me a long kiss. I was starting to feel giddy from all the kissing. She trailed kisses all the way up to my ear and whispered, "I won't answer that. But I think it means you're allowed to think about me that way." I kissed her neck and trailed kisses from there to her jaw, to her cheek and her lips.

I won't go into details, but you should know that we made out all morning. And I think I have fallen in love with Sam again, and it's better this time because I think she's fallen in love with me too. And maybe the age difference doesn't matter after all.

Love always,

Charlie

AN: I'm not very happy with it, but I was having a hard time figuring out how to get them together. And this is the best I could do. So... You know what's next, review!


	5. Chapter 4: Patrick Calls

**AN: PLEASE READ GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT. **

**An amazing person (you know who you are) made me realise that I had left many holes in the story, and I will fill them up in this author's note. In the last chapter, we see Charlie freaking out and apologising for kissing Sam. I should explain that, since at the end of the book, Sam tells Charlie to do things and stuff. I will do that in this chapter. **

**There's another thing. Charlie uses the term "made out" at the end of the last chapter. The amazing person (you know who you are) raised the point that "made out" is very un-Charliesque. I want to clarify that. In this story, Charlie is twenty four years old, and he's obviously matured since his freshman year, so the way he looks at things and the way he talks and thinks has changed.**

**Now, on with the story. There will be some swearing in this so yeah. Enjoy and review! **

* * *

Sam's PoV:

Things couldn't have gotten better. I had finally gathered the courage to tell Charlie how I felt about him, and in return he had given me the best make out session of my life (AN: they will use these terms now, so just go with it). We lay next to each other that morning, catching our breaths, and our lips swollen. I couldn't help but stare at Charlie. His jet black hair were messy and looked shaggy, they always looked that way these days. They were falling over his forehead, almost touching his eyelashes. He had a strong jaw, a handsome face. He had the most beautiful blue eyes, and if you looked closely enough there were specks of hazel around the pupil. I was getting used to that detail when the sunlight found its way through the curtains and hit his eyes. I held back a gasp; his eyes had turned a gorgeous shade of green, so pure I could almost look through them. There were specks of gold and blue in them. He had the most beautiful eyes in the world, and I realised I wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of my life with him next to me, his eyes looking at me the way they always did. He caught me staring and gave a small, but content smile. I smiled back and he leaned in, hovering over me. My arms snaked around his neck and his hand caressed my cheek, and he gave me a look so loving. I pulled him in and our lips touched. He wasn't rushed, he was sweet and gentle, and it still sent a thousand bolts of electricity down my spine. He pulled away and I moved so my head was on his chest. We lay in silence, his steady heartbeat calmed me. He played with my hair and I drew circles on his grey T-shirt, which covered his toned chest.

"So, what do you want to do today?" I asked.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah. Let's watch a sappy romantic movie which makes us throw up," I said excitedly.

He laughed and said, "You talk like you want to throw up."

"I do. It's the good kind of throw up, right?" I didn't know what I was talking about, I was too happy to think about it.

"Okay fine. Just don't do it on me."

"I was joking, Charlie."

"I know, Sam."

We were silent again, but something was eating me up. I had to ask Charlie about it.

"Why did you apologise?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I know you remember what I told you about doing things that night in my room. It still applies."

He didn't hesitate to answer, "I remember everything you said that night, Sam. And I know it still applies. I apologised because you'd just come out of a long relationship, and I didn't want to take advantage of you. So-umph!" I kissed him. I think that was pretty good way to shut him up.

"Shut up and start the movie," I scolded, even though I was smiling. He smiled and kissed me and started the movie. We didn't really watch the movie, we talked and cuddled and kissed. The only part I remembered watching was the cheesy ending where the hero and heroine cry and kiss. We talked some more and my phone rang. Across the room.

"God! When I get this thing off I'm going to butcher it and burn it," I cursed my plaster.

"You do that, it's just a matter of three weeks Sam. You'll be free." He squeezed my shoulder and went to get the phone. I saw the caller ID and smiled.

"Hey Sam. Are you still miserable over that asshole of a boyfriend of yours?" Charlie looked at me questioningly and I mouthed, "Patrick". I don't think he'd smiled that wide since our reunion.

"Hello Patrick, I missed you too. What's up?"

"Guess what, I'm coming to New York for a month."

"What? When? That's great!" I shrieked excitedly.

"Ouch Sam! I'm going to need my hearing when I meet you, you know."

"Sorry Patty," I said and handed Charlie the phone and mouthed, "Surprise him. Put it on speaker phone". He grinned again. He put it on speaker phone and I heard Patrick say, "-call me that again if you want to die."

Charlie smiled again and said, "Whoa Patrick, control your emotions."

"Who is that? Sam?" Patrick sounded so confused, Charlie was red from trying not to laugh, I'm pretty sure I was too.

"Yeah, Patrick?" I teased. I could understand why he didn't recognise Charlie, his voice had changed a lot. Not that I minded, of course.

"Sam? Who is that guy?" Patrick sounded confused and very irritated.

"Hey Patrick, don't you remember me? I thought you would, after all the fun we had," Charlie said. I wasn't sure if there was a double meaning in that, but then again with Charlie, you could never be sure.

"Have I slept with you?" He said that and we cracked up. Patrick grumbled irritably.

"I'll give you a hint, I'm that guy. And I am not gay, Sam would kill me if I was, so you haven't slept with me," Charlie said after we calmed down. I slapped his shoulder.

"Let's see. How many straight guys do Sam and I know? There's Bob, but I could recognise his voice anywhere. There's Peter, I spoke to him only yesterday. There's...Charlie." And five seconds later we almost lost our hearing. Patrick screamed for about ten minutes and then shrieked at Charlie, "You idiot! You absolute son of a bitch! God, do you know how absolutely fucked up you are? Where the hell were you? What the hell are you doing in New York?"

Charlie chuckled and said, "Hi Patrick. I missed you too. You're coming to New York, right? I'll tell you everything. I promise. When are you coming?"

"I'm going to kill you when I come. I coming next month," Patrick replied. I sighed in relief, my plaster would be off by then. I wasn't going to follow the doctor's instruction to have bed rest for another two weeks after my plaster comes off. I had to be in walking, running, and dancing condition before he came.

"Oh that's good. Sam will be in walking, running, and dancing condition by then," Charlie said, looking at me. I didn't have time to be creeped out at his sudden ability to read my mind. Patrick started screaming again. "What happened to her? Is she okay? Wait, are you both living together?" Patrick screamed.

"I...actually, I broke my foot, three weeks back. That's how I met Charlie. Like he said, we'll tell you everything when you come. You'll get confused if we tell you on the phone," I explained.

"And yes Patrick, we are living together. We'll explain everything," Charlie chimed in.

"So, I'm going to have to wait a month to listen to your story. How is that fair?"

"Come sooner if you can't wait," I said.

"I know you can't wait to see me, but I can't come before next month. I have to go now, I'll call you soon. And I'll kill you Charlie when I come," Patrick finished angrily.

"I can't wait," Charlie said sheepishly.

"Bye Patrick," we said.

"Bye," he said and cut the phone.

"Why can't everyone be happy to be in touch with me again? You hit me, Patrick wants to kill me..." Charlie trailed off.

"He's not going to kill you, Charlie. He's very happy to speak to you again. And you know I love you," I said, putting my head on his chest again.

"I love you too, Sam. But you hit hard." He put his hand on my arm and his other hand combed my hair. It felt so good.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." We kissed.

* * *

*four weeks later*

I finally had the plaster removed, and the doctor said I had made an incredible recovery, and that I didn't really need two weeks of bed rest, I could start walking a little. I had gradually started walking, and now I was completely fine. It was great to finally walk around, and now that I was with Charlie, I felt complete. And definitely not alone. He had taken me to dinner a couple of times, and we'd gone dancing too, just to get into the habit before Patrick comes. I'd gone back to work yesterday, and since I used to work very hard before my fracture, my boss was easy on me. At lunch I remembered what I said to Charlie, about working and buying my house back. Would I still have to move out after I get my apartment? I decided to work and get my apartment back, but still live with him, since we were together.

We went to pick up Patrick from the airport this morning, Charlie was practically bouncing while driving.

"I should've bought a three bedroom house. Now Patrick won't be able to stay with us." He grimaced.

He parked the car and we walked towards the arrival gate holding hands.

**AN: dun dun daaaa... Not really a cliffy, is it? Well...you know what's next... REVIEW! **


	6. Chapter 5: Infinite Nostalgia

**AN: hai guys! Thank you for the reviews! They help my confidence a lot, not just as a writer, but in general too. And I got some constructive criticism!**

**So thanks to- DARKESTANGEL- thank you! I'm glad you liked the story!**

**LOVINGDRAMIONE- thank you very much! And FYI, I love you too!**

**GABBYGRL247- thanks a bunch! I'm kind of on break from the other story, I just want to focus on this one for now. But I will come back to it!**

**YBR. HORSE- thank you!**

**"DECEIVED DECEPTION- thank you soooo much! When are you updating "Saved"? I cannot wait to read it! Have I ever told you how much I love your pen name? In case I haven't, I LOVE YOUR PEN NAME DUDE.**

**NOT-WHAT-IT-LOOKS-LIKE- I don't know what I'd do without you. Yes, I agree the last chapter was a bit rushed, but I had to rush it because the story was moving too slow. Yes, maybe it was confusing, I will make sure to mention who's talking next time. As for Sam calling Patrick "Patty", I don't really have a reason for that, I just felt like doing it :p Patrick was flamboyant in a teasing way, and I have to change their personalities a bit because like you said I said, people change when they grow older. So yeah. This chapter is going to be fun, I hope... I have a lot of drama planned for later chapters, so I'm gonna let them be happy for a bit. Keep reviewing! And update you stories!**

**2INFINITYBEYOND- thank you for the feedback, it was very helpful. I agree it was rushed/forced, but this was a bit of a filler chapter and I had to rush things because the story was going too slow, and I couldn't leave Sam injured any longer, she has to face more drama later in this story, so she needs to be fit for that. As for it seeming scatterbrained, I will try to make the chapters a little more well thought out, but you need to keep in mind that this is only the beginning, I plan to go very far with the story, so please hang on and wait. I can understand why you feel Patrick was out of character but you must remember that this story is placed somewhere between 2000-2002, which is many years after the book, and people mature and change with time, I will need to change their personalities a bit, Charlie will be more confident and attractive, Sam will be more attracted to Charlie and won't be as easy going as before, I have given the reasons in the previous chapters (how she had a fight with her parents and her bad relationship and stuff), Patrick will be fun loving yet mature, he'll just swear a little more (he just seems like that kinda guy). Just some minor changes to their personalities, because I can't have them behave like teenagers when they're in their mid-to-late twenties. Keep reviewing though!**

**Now on with the story... THERE'S A SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER. IT'S CALLED COULD IT BE ENOUGH BY MACKINTOSH BRAUN. LISTEN TO IT! ALSO, I NEED SUGGESTIONS FOR SONGS FOR ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS. PLEASE HELP ME!**

** Enjoy and review! **

Sam's PoV:

...and we walked to the arrival gate holding hands.

I couldn't wait to see Patrick, and now that Charlie was back, it would be like old times again. I'd got a text from Patrick saying his flight had just landed, and he would meet us in ten minutes. I replied and told Charlie.

"It's going to be like old times again, isn't it?" Charlie murmured, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

"It's going to be just like old times, Charlie. Maybe even better," I replied, smiling.

"I've missed this so much," Charlie said.

"Missed what?" I asked.

"You know...us. You, me and Patrick together, driving around town and having fun," Charlie replied. I didn't say anything more than, "We'll make the most of the time we have." I kissed him.

"Break it up you two!" A familiar voice said, snickering. I felt Charlie's excitement radiating through his body. We pulled away to see our best friend in the world, Patrick. He had always had curly hair, and he wore them slightly long with really cool side burns, and a goatee. We stood there for a couple of minutes, looking at each other and grinning, taking it in and acknowledging the fact that we were finally together again. The three of us came closer and group-hugged. Patrick murmured, "It's good to be back."

"Yes, it is," Charlie and I replied.

Patrick pulled back and glared at Charlie. They were both the same height, so it didn't look very intimidating. "Would you like to explain?" Patrick asked flatly.

"Hi Patrick. How've you been? You look good," Charlie said nervously, I would be nervous too if I was at the receiving end of that glare.

"I don't think you heard me right. I said, would you like to explain?" Patrick said, his voice rising a little. I decided to butt in before things got out of hand.

"Now, boys! Let's go for lunch, we'll explain everything, Patrick. Promise," I said, stepping between them. Patrick nodded, still glaring at Charlie, though I could see a smile tugging at his lips. He started grinning, Charlie started grinning, and they gave each other a bear hug.

"You're not getting away from us. Never again," Patrick said.

"I'm fine with that," Charlie replied and smiled. We walked to the car together, Charlie's hand entwined with mine and Patrick's arm slung loosely around Charlie's shoulders.

We went for lunch to a quiet restaurant, so we could talk in peace.

"You guys owe me an explanation, now would be a good time to start," Patrick said once we got a table. Charlie told his story about Canada, he said everything he'd told me, then I explained how I broke my foot, and how Charlie just happened to be there and why I was living with him (Patrick used some choice words when I told him. Not nice), we told him how we got together (Patrick said, "Well, it's about time!" We blushed). When we finished, Patrick said, "Wow. That's a story good enough to be a script for a sappy romantic comedy. You should go and approach producers!"

"Shut up, Patrick," I said. We sat in comfortable silence for a while.

"What do you guys want to do today?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie, we're going to go dancing! We're going to get drunk and all that, for old times' sake," Patrick said. Charlie seemed to be thinking about something, but then again, he was always thinking about something, so I didn't bother to ask.

"Hey guys, I'm going to go to my hotel and get some rest, the flight was pretty tiring. How about we meet at my hotel at seven?" Patrick asked.

"Seven sounds good. Come on, we'll drop you," Charlie said.

"I'm not going to bother saying no, because you're not going to listen. So let's go!" Patrick said. We laughed and went out.

On the way to Patrick's hotel, we decided that I'll go with him, since Charlie had some work. I wasn't very happy with that, it meant I would have to stay away from him, even though it was only for a couple of hours. Okay...what's happened to me? I'm acting like a lovesick puppy. Oh god, why?

We stopped at his hotel, and said bye. Charlie kissed me and went away.

Patrick checked in and we walked to his room in silence. I helped him unpack, and plopped down on a chair. Patrick sat down on the bed and looked around.

"Hmmm, not bad. The record label I work for is paying for it, so it's actually pretty good," Patrick stated. I smiled.

"How've you been, Sam?" Patrick asked, I could see his big brother mode kicking in.

"I've never been better, you know. I'm very happy," I said sincerely.

"I believe you," He said and smiled.

"You do? I have told you that before, you never seemed to believe me. What's so different now?" I asked, confused.

"Well, I believe you because you actually look very happy. You're practically glowing, do you know that?" He replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah. So... I'm guessing Charlie is the reason of your happiness?" He asked and I blushed.

"Yeah, he is," I whispered.

He smirked and said, "How is it that you're suddenly so attracted to him...that way? I know he's gotten all good looking and stuff, but what about the age gap and everything you were talking about in senior year?"

"I don't know Patrick, I really don't. I've been going crazy trying to figure out how it happened. It's just...he doesn't even do anything, but with him I feel like I'm on top of the world, you know what I mean?"

"Even though it's extremely cheesy and sounds weird coming from you, I know what you mean. Keep him around, will you?" He replied.

"Yeah, I will," I said and smiled.

We continued talking, about everything and nothing. I didn't even realise how quickly time passed, I was surprised when I got a call from Charlie telling us to come down.

"Hey Sam, I got this for you," Patrick said, handing me a black cocktail dress with sequins and black heels. They were so beautiful.

"Patrick, they're amazing! Thank you!" I said and hugged him. I changed into my dress, and I looked good. I couldn't wait to see Charlie's face. Patrick quickly changed into a black shirt and jeans and we headed out.

Charlie was waiting for us at the reception, and he grinned when he saw me. He looked amazing. He was wearing a white dress shirt, fitted black pants, a grey cardigan, and black loafers. He wrapped his arms around me and pecked me on the lips. He whispered, "You look beautiful." I blushed. Is it me or I've been blushing a lot? Charlie and Patrick hugged. He grabbed my hand and we headed out to the parking lot.

I was expecting to see his car, but it wasn't there.

"Where's your car, Charlie?" I asked.

"I didn't bring it," he replied, still grinning.

"Then how do we plan to go?" Patrick asked. Charlie didn't reply, he kept walking through the parking lot until we reached the end of it.

We found ourselves standing in front of a red pickup truck. I gasped, so did Patrick.

"Is that...?" I trailed off. The truck looked almost exactly like my truck back home.

"No, that's still back home. I rented this one, it was the closest thing I could find to Sam's truck. Do you guys like it?" Charlie said. I lunged at him and gave him a kiss.

"I love it," I whispered against his lips.

"Leave it to Charlie to make the reunion absolutely perfect. I don't think we could've had a better reunion than this. You are awesome, Charlie!" Patrick said and hugged Charlie. I sat in between them to control the music, but there was already a tape in the player. I took it out and gasped again. The tape had all our favourite songs from senior year- (AN: I'm going to add some of my favourite songs too)

Landslide- Fleetwood Mac(AN: the tunnel song in the book)

Time Of No Reply- Nick Drake

Dear Prudence- The Beatles

MLK- U2

Heroes- David Bowie

Could It Be Another Change- The Samples

At The Library- Green Day

Something- The Beatles

Yesterday- The Beatles

Blackbird - The Beatles

Let It Be- The Beatles

Vapour Trail- Ride

Gypsy- Suzanne Vega

Where Eagles Dare- The Misfits

Another Brick In The Wall, Part 2- Pink Floyd

Low- Cracker

Broken Wings- Mr. Mister

Asleep- The Smiths

And finally, Landslide- Fleetwood Mac, again!

"You were spending all that time making this tape, weren't you?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I wanted to make tonight really special," Charlie said and shrugged.

"You did," Patrick said and patted him on the back.

We found the nightclub and walked through the flood of people to the bar. We got our drinks; I got vodka with cranberry juice, Charlie got red wine, and Patrick got a screwdriver.

"Charlie, you plan to get drunk with a glass of wine?" Patrick asked, eyebrow raised.

"No," Charlie said.

"Don't worry, Patrick. That's how he always starts out. Just wait," I said and smirked.

"You know me too well, Sam," Charlie said and nudged me.

"I'm not your best friend-turned-girlfriend for nothing," I replied and wriggled my eyebrows at him.

"If you guys are done flirting, can we go dance?" Patrick said and sighed.

I said, "Sure. But I suggest you get used to us flirting, because we do it all the time."

"Especially in nightclubs," Charlie chimed in.

"I liked you both better in the best friends-with-complicated-feelings-for-each-other phase. This is just too much. Oh, the horror!" Patrick said dramatically.

"Okay, Mr. Dramatic. Let's go!" I said and pulled them to the dance floor.

We danced for about three songs when a slow song came on, and the deejay announced, "This one is for all my couples out there!" Patrick smirked at us and said, "Hey guys! I think I'm a little tired, so I'm going to go find a table. So you guys dance...together...to a slow song..."

"Patrick, I hope you realise that we are already together. That kind of teasing would've been more appropriate a month back, when we were, as you call it, in the best friends-with-complicated -feelings-for-each-other phase," I pointed out, and Charlie nodded.

"Jesus! Just dance already!" Patrick said and ran off. I laughed and shook my head.

I felt two hands hold mine and looked up to see Charlie smiling. He pulled me closer and whispered, "Would you like to dance?" And in that moment, I was for some reason reminded of that night at the club after graduation. I looked into his eyes and we had a silent conversation, and I knew he was thinking about the same night, and his eyes let me know that he was going to do all the things he should've done back then, like taking my hands and asking me to dance and giving me a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered back, "Yes." He put his hands on my hips. He pulled me a little closer, and I pulled him a little closer, and we swayed on the spot. He planted a kiss on my hair and kept his lips there. I wanted the clock to stop, so I could stay in that moment forever. I know it's cheesy and corny, but that's how I really felt. His fingers traveled up my back, leaving a tingling feeling everywhere he touched me. They stopped at my cheek, and his hand cupped it, his thumb caressed it. His other hand pulled me against him, and he leaned in, and kissed me. It was slow and gentle, and then I really wanted time to freeze, I couldn't get enough of him. We kept swaying and kissing. The song ended, but we didn't stop kissing. He finally pulled away with a dreamy expression on his face and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"What? I did better than last time! At least I think did," Charlie said, scowling. His expression was adorable.

I laughed full on at that. "I didn't even say anything!" I managed, still laughing.

He crossed his arms across his chest, still scowling, and said, "You're laughing at me!"

"Am not!" I said, letting out one last laugh. I pulled him close to me and gave him a long kiss. I pulled away and said, "You did much better than last time, Charlie. I'm impressed." He beamed at me.

We left the dance floor, stopped at the bar and refilled our drinks. We walked around a little to find Patrick. We found him at a table in the corner, looking fairly tipsy. But you could never really make out, he did the same things sober too. At the moment, he was laying across the purple velvety sofa seat, and waving madly at us and yelling, "Come along, lovebirds! Come along to the thrill ride of loooooove (AN: I don't own Percy Jackson. It doesn't exist here, but I felt like writing it:p)!"

"Nice to see you too, Patrick. How many glasses are you down?" I said. I pushed his legs off the seat to make room for me and Charlie. We sat down and Charlie put his arm around me.

"Oh I'm not drunk! I've only taken two...three...or four glasses!" Patrick said and sat up. That really wasn't a lot, at least by Patrick's standards. Like I said, he did crazy things like that even when he was sober.

"So Charlie," Patrick said, suddenly acting all serious.

"Yeah?"

"Do you like Sam? I'm sorry, that is the stupidest question ever. The whole world knows where your heart lies," Patrick said, pointing at me. I tried to hide my smile, I liked the sound of Charlie's heart lying with me.

"That, indeed is a very stupid question. And yes, I love Sam," Charlie said, blushing a little.

"So, you know I'm going to kick your ass if you hurt her, even though you're my best friend, right?" Patrick said.

"I know that," Charlie said calmly.

Patrick was quiet for a moment. Then he suddenly said, "You know, there was a really cute guy that just passed by. I would've totally made a move if I didn't have such a badass boyfriend. Damn you, Connor. That's his name, by the way." We laughed. We talked and drank more, and yet we still didn't run out of things to say.

"Did you know, Patrick? Charlie's writing his first draft for "The Slut and The Falcon". He's gonna make us solve crimes," I said, my words slurring a little. The alcohol was setting in. I smiled at the memory.

"Oh my god! Seriously?" Patrick slurred, looking shocked, amused and really happy all at the same time.

"Yep. It's my first novel in this genre. I'm half way through writing the first draft. It's going to be sooooo great," Charlie said, grinning widely.

A couple of hours later, we sobered up with coffee and were driving along the streets of New York in the pickup truck, listening to the tape Charlie made. As we entered the Lincoln Tunnel, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac came on. We grinned at each other, remembering the time we felt infinite, and Charlie stopped the car and gave me a knowing look. I flashed him a grin and went to the back of the truck. I stood up and Charlie started driving really fast and turned the music up, and Patrick made waves with his hand, and Charlie tapped his hands on the steering wheel. I held my hands up and pretended to fly like a bird. It wasn't anything like the Fort Pitt Tunnel, but it was close. And I could see the light at the end, and I felt like it was so close, but I couldn't seem to reach it. And just when I thought I would never reach it, it came bursting out, the road and the cars and everything. I screamed this really fun scream, and Patrick started laughing, and Charlie grinned at me through the rear view mirror. And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite, again.

**AN: so...? How did you like the reunion? I tried to give it a nostalgic kinda vibe, but please review and let me know what ya'll think! You know what's next...REVIEW!**

**Bai.**


	7. Chapter 6: Paparazzi

**AN: hai guys! This is a filler chapter, I'm going to make Sam realise that her best friend-turned-boyfriend (we all know who that is) is a famous guy. So yeah... ONE FILLER CHAPTA COOOMIN UP! **

**Enjoy and review! **

Sam's PoV:

We dropped Patrick off at his hotel and headed home.

"How long do we have this truck?" I asked Charlie, who had a small smile on his face.

"One month," he replied.

We reached home and I declared, "I'm hungry." He looked at me wide eyed, because I had eaten a lot at the club.

He smirked and said, "I see you're still a bulimist." I smiled at the memory and walked closer to him and put my arms around his neck. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

"Once a bulimist, always a bulimist. You know how it works," I said. I realised how close our faces were. I didn't waste another second and kissed him. He tightened his grip and deepened the kiss. We stumbled over to the bedroom, and touched each other with clothes on. I worked his cardigan and shirt off. I pulled away to look at him, and my eyes widened. He'd really filled out in all the right places over the years, he had well defined biceps, really...sexy abs, well, basically I could just ogle at him for the rest of my days.

"When did this happen?" I asked, staring at him and sounding breathless. Great, now he takes my breath away.

"What happened?" He asked in a deeper, huskier voice than usual.

"This," I said, pointing at his body.

He chuckled and said, "Last year, I think... I'm not sure-" I started kissing him again so he would stop talking. I slid my hand in his pants, and touched him. He didn't stop this time, I was extremely happy that he'd gotten over the mental block. He had never really told me what happened and why he had a breakdown, but I never pushed him. He pulled back and looked at me, and asked, "Are you sure?"

"I want you," I breathed. Charlie shivered and kissed me senseless.

I won't say anything more than this: it was one of the best nights of my life.

My morning was perfect. I woke up with my back facing Charlie, who had an arm around my waist. I could feel his skin on mine, and it felt so good. I was slightly sore, and it took me a minute to remember last night. It was beautiful, sweet, real and absolutely perfect.

Correction: my morning was perfect until Charlie decided to wake me up. He didn't know I was awake, so I figured I could play with him. I heard the sheets rustle, which I guess meant he was scooting closer.

At first, he was all romantic and boyfriend-ish with his approach. Which was so nice. Believe me. But then, he said something.

"Sam, it's Monday today."

I shot up faster than he could say my name. Couldn't he have told me sooner?

"Shit! I have to get to work!" I started running around gathering my clothes while brushing my teeth, in full on panic mode and Charlie just sat there in bed, with the sheets covering his lower body. He was smiling like he didn't have a single worry in the world. Even though he looked devastatingly good, which was very strange because he'd just woken up, that smiling bit was really irritating.

Before stepping into the shower, I groaned and said, "God! Charlie, will you stop smiling? It's not funny!"

I stepped in the shower and started the water.

I would like to tell you he stopped smiling, but he didn't. He said loudly, "I know it's not funny, Sam. But you look really cute right now, flying all over the place."

I sighed, even though I loved the fact that he thought I looked cute. Something's wrong with me.

"Thank you, Charlie. You know, you're gonna have to get me to work on time, since you're the one who made me late in the first place," I said.

"Okay, but how did I make you late again?" He asked.

"I'll tell you later!"

When I got dressed and went out the room, Charlie was standing at the doorstep with a Starbucks takeaway cup and a sandwich bag.

"Hey, I got you some breakfast," he said and smiled. I flashed him a grin and kissed his cheek.

"You're the best. Let's go!" I said. He smiled.

Without being too descriptive, I can tell you that I was standing in front of my office building with ten minutes to spare.

I kissed him and said, "Thank you, Charlie! You just-" I stopped. I swear I saw something flash in a hedge across the street. Charlie followed my gaze and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I thought I saw something flash in that hedge. Don't worry about it," I said and brushed it off. I didn't stop looking at the hedge, but nothing happened, so I guess I was hallucinating.

"Okay, then. I'll see you in the evening. Love you," Charlie said and kissed me.

"Bye, love you too," I said and smiled.

To say I got a warm welcome from my friends at work would be a lie. I was ambushed by a group of five squealing girls when I reached my desk; Katie, Jennifer, Rose, Thalia, and Stacy.

"Guys! What's wrong? Do I have something on my face or something?" I asked. I was so confused, because I wasn't used to them behaving this way. Usually, they were a bunch of mature and sensible young women. Now...well, they were acting like a bunch of teenagers who'd seen the Backstreet Boys or something.

"Oh my god!" Stacy shrieked.

"What?!" I yelled, seriously very frustrated.

"Are you or are you not dating Charlie Kelmeckis?" Rose screamed. I was shocked. How did she know him? Oh wait, he's a famous writer.

"Yeah," I said, but it came out like a question.

"Oh my god!" They all shrieked.

"How did you guys meet? Is he great?" Jennifer squealed while jumping around.

"He was my best friend in high school, then we lost touch. I met him two months back when I got my fracture, he took care of me," I said somewhat sheepishly.

"When did you guys get together?" Katie screamed.

"Last month?" Why is everything I'm saying coming out like a question? This day is just getting weirder and weirder.

"Is he good in bed?" Thalia whisper screamed. She had quite an...appetite. I was red as a tomato.

"Excuse me?" I said incredulously.

"Sorry, that was inappropriate," Thalia said and giggled.

I glared at her, "Super inappropriate."

It took me a while to come to my senses, and when I did, I asked them, "Wait a minute. How do you guys know?"

"Have you even read People magazine? Or any magazine for that matter? Oh wait, you were too busy being in love with People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive"," Katie said, and looked at me as if I'd popped out of thin air.

"What? "Sexiest Man Alive"? Of course I haven't read any magazine, I don't read magazines!" I said. What was going on?

Thalia handed me a magazine and said, "Well, take a look. You're his "mystery girl". Everyone wants to know who you are."

I browsed through the magazine to the page where the pictures and article were. It had pictures of me and Charlie from last week, when we'd gone out for lunch and grocery shopping. Charlie was wearing a dark blue button down shirt with black pants and aviators. I was wearing dark, skinny jeans, a white T-shirt with a denim jacket and aviators. We weren't trying to match sunglasses, we just happened to have the same ones. We were holding hands and walking. In the next one, we were at the grocery store, and Charlie had an arm around me and and was smiling against my lips. I was smiling too, in the photo and in real. There were more candid shots of us walking, holding hands, hugging, laughing, kissing and eating at the restaurant.

The article was just plain weird.

_ Who is this girl?_

_That's right, ladies. People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive is officially taken. The author of several best-selling books, including "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" (AN: can we pretend Charlie wrote the book?), Charlie Kelmeckis was seen strolling around town holding hands with a beautiful young girl last week. They were seen eating lunch and later going grocery shopping (see photos), which gives us the impression that they are living together. They were also reportedly seen going into a nightclub with another guy last night. Charlie was amazingly dressed as always, and his lady love definitely matched up to him. _

"Lady love? LADY LOVE? I HAVE A NAME!" I shrieked.

They nodded at me sadly. I read on.

_So who is this mystery woman? Where is she from? We don't know that as of now, but they are absolutely LOVED by paparazzi! Read on for more scoop on America's hottest couples. _

"Paparazzi! So that's what I saw in that hedge!"

"You saw a flash?" Katie asked. I nodded.

"Oh." Jennifer said.

"Oh what? They clicked pictures of me saying bye to my boyfriend? Do they seriously have no life?" I asked.

"Of course they did, Sam. They want all the material they can gather on both of you. Charlie's doing a very good job keeping you away from them," Stacy said.

"What do you mean?"

"Sam, when these magazines like something, they get all the information on it, always. I don't know what Charlie's doing, but if he wasn't doing it, this article would be a lot longer," Rose said.

"So...did he have the paparazzi problem before I met him?"

"Yeah. You see, he's very private about his personal life, and everyone wants to know what's going on with him because they love him. So the paps follow him everywhere he goes. I mean, if he's just going to a restaurant, it's still going to be big news, because people like to know what famous people do," Thalia explained.

"Okay," I said. That was all I could say. I had forgotten that Charlie was well known, he was so normal.

"Relax, Sam. You'll get used to it," Katie said.

I smiled at her and went back to work. I need to talk to Charlie.

* * *

*in the evening*

I came back home around seven o'clock. I walked to the living room and found Charlie watching television. He smiled at me when he saw me, but it faltered when he saw my expression.

"You have paparazzi following you around," I said a little angrily.

"What?"

"You have a goddam paparazzi squad following you around and taking pictures." I was so angry. I handed him the magazine and he looked at the pictures and read the article. He sighed and looked at me.

"Hey, come here," Charlie said and motioned me to sit on his lap. I scooted closer, sat on his lap and put my arms around his neck. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a hug.

He pulled back and said, "I know this is a lot to take in, Sam. But paparazzi is nothing to worry about. They're just a bunch of stupid guys running around with cameras who really like butting into other people's business. Don't worry Sam, I won't let them get near you." He smiled, kissed my cheek and continued, "And anyway, you look really good in these pictures."

I laughed and said, "Thanks, Charlie."

He cupped my cheek and kissed me. For a moment, the bad part of today went away, because I now knew that Charlie wouldn't let anything happen to me.

He pulled away, and I realised something.

"I haven't read your books," I said. Charlie looked thoughtful, and then said, "No problem, you can find them in my study. Which one do you want to read first?"

"Perks Of Being A Wallflower. What's it about?" I asked. For a second, it looked like he wasn't there anymore, but then he seemed to snap himself out of it.

He said, "It's about my freshman year. I changed the names (AN: just go with it, it's fanfiction for crying out loud) and everything, but it was a lot of fun to write."

"So, am I in it?" I asked, grinning so widely my cheeks were hurting.

"Yes, you're one of the most important characters," he said, also grinning.

His phone started ringing. He answered it and I heard his side of the conversation.

"Hello?... Hi Patrick, what's up?... Really? When?... Next weekend's cool. You want to meet up before that?... Oh okay, that's fine... Great! I'll see you... Bye!" He looked like he'd won the lottery or something.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Mary Elisabeth and Alice are coming to New York next Friday."

**AN: woohoo! The gang's coming together! I have a question. **

**If Sam, Charlie and Patrick were demigods, who would their godly parents be? **

**You know what's next... REVIEW AND ANSWER THE QUESTION!**


	8. Chapter 7: Perks Of Being A Wallflower

**AN: hi guys! Thank you so much for reviewing! I reached thirty one! You guys are the best! Not a lot of people answered the question, but I think- **

**Charlie- Apollo/ Athena**

**Sam- Athena/ Aphrodite **

**Patrick- Hermes**

**Tell me what you think! **

**Now, on to the story. This may be a very long chapter...so bear with me. **

**PS: I know I mentioned that Charlie changed the names, but I won't change them here because I don't want to cause confusion.**

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

Something's not right with Charlie. And its worrying me. The next week after the whole paparazzi thing, he had been behaving very strangely. Like, the next day when I came home from work, I found him sitting on the couch and watching a nature documentary on television. But the strange thing was that he didn't look like he was watching the documentary, he didn't look like he was there at all. He had a blank expression on his face, but it looked pained. He didn't even say anything when I came in.

"Charlie?" I tried to hide the worry in my voice but I failed miserably.

He jumped a little and looked at me and said, "Oh...um, hi Sam. How was work?" He gave me a smile but I saw right through it. He was a terrible liar. I sat down next to him and intwined my hand with his.

"Hi. Work was good. Are you feeling alright, Charlie? You don't look so good," I said.

He squeezed my hand and said, " Don't worry, Sam. I'm okay. I'm just a little tired. I had a long day at my publisher's office." I wanted to believe him, but I wasn't convinced. I nodded and smiled anyway.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while. Charlie suddenly got up and I looked at him questioningly.

He smiled at me, genuinely, and said, "Come with me." I nodded and stood up. He took hold of my hand again and took me to his study. I realised I had never seen his study before.

To be very honest, it looked nothing like a study. There was a rack on one wall with books, so many books. On the parallel wall, there was another rack, with a stereo and a record player. It had a lot of good music, in vinyl and in cassette. There was a coffee table and three or four beanbags. I don't remember. The desk was simple and brown.

"Cool place. But why are we here?" I asked him. He didn't reply and walked over to his desk. From one of the drawers he took out a book. He walked to me and handed it to me.

The title was "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower". Excitement overwhelmed me and I grinned at him.

"Do you want to start reading now?"

He asked.

"Are you kidding? Of course!" I said.

We came back to the living room and sat on the sofa. I looked at him and he encouraged me to go on.

_August 25, 1991_

_ Dear friend,_

_I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have. Please don't try to figure out who she is because then you might figure out who I am, and I really don't want you to do that. I will call people by different names or generic names because I don't want you to find me. I didn't enclose a return address for the same reason. I mean nothing bad by this. Honest._

_I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist._

_I think you of all people would understand that because I think you of all people are alive and appreciate what that means. At least I hope you do because other people look to you for strength and friendship and it's that simple. At least that's what I've heard._

That's interesting. I read on.

_So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be._

_I try to think of my family as a reason for me being this way, especially after my friend Michael stopped going to school one day last spring and we heard Mr. Vaughn's voice on the loudspeaker._

_"Boys and girls, I regret to inform you that one of our students has passed on. We will hold a memorial service for Michael Dobson during assembly this Friday."_

I didn't know what to think of that. I honestly didn't know. I was barely one page through. I read on and soon I was at the part where he talks about movie stars and interviews.

_They start with what food they are eating in some restaurant. "As - gingerly munched her Chinese Chicken Salad, she spoke of love." And all the covers say the same thing: "- gets to the bottom of stardom, love, and his/her hit new movie/television shows/album."_

_I think it's nice for stars to do interviews to make us think they are just like us, but to tell you the truth, I get the feeling that it's all a big lie. The problem is I don't know who's lying. And I don't know why these magazines sell as much as they do. And I don't know why the ladies in the dentist's office like them as much as they do. A Saturday ago, I was in the dentist's office, and I heard this conversation._

_"Did you see that movie?" as she points to the cover. _

_"I did. I saw it with Harold."_

_"What do you think?"_

_"She is just lovely."_

_"Yeah. She is."_

_"Oh, I have this new recipe."_

_"Low-fat?"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Do you have some time tomorrow?"_

_"No. Why don't you have Mike fax it to Harold?" _

_"Okay."_

_Then, these ladies started talking about the one star I mentioned before, and they both had very strong opinions. "I think it's disgraceful."_

_"Did you read the interview in Good Housekeeping?" _

_"A few months back?"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Disgraceful."_

_"Did you read the one in Cosmopolitan?"_

_"No."_

_"God, it was practically the same interview."_

_"I don't know why they give her the time of day."_

_The fact that one of these ladies was my mom made me feel_

_particularly sad because my mom is beautiful. And she's always on a diet. Sometimes, my dad calls her beautiful, but she cannot hear him. Incidentally, my dad is a very good husband. He's just pragmatic._

I laughed at this part, because it was true and I felt the same way. But I felt sad about his mom, because I could relate to him and it had happened with me too. I read on, and my excitement reached a whole new level when I reached the football game. Because that's where I first met him.

_October 6, 1991 _

_Dear friend,_

_I feel very ashamed. I went to the high school football game_

_the other day, and I don't know exactly why. In middle school, Michael and I would go to the games sometimes even though neither of us were popular enough to go. It was just a place to go on Fridays when we didn't want to watch television. Sometimes, we would see Susan there, and she and Michael would hold hands._

_But this time, I went alone because Michael is gone, and Susan hangs around different boys now, and Bridget is still crazy, and Carl's mom sent him to a Catholic school, and Dave with the awkward glasses moved away. I was just kind of watching people, seeing who was in love and who was just hanging around, and I saw that kid I told you about. Remember Nothing? Nothing was there at the football game, and he was one of the few people who was not an adult that was actually watching the game. I mean really watching the game. He would yell things out._

_"C'mon, Brad!" That's the name of our quarterback._

_Now, normally I am very shy, but Nothing seemed like the kind of guy you could just walk up to at a football game even though you were three years younger and not popular._

_"Hey, you're in my shop class!" He's a very friendly person. "I'm Charlie." I said, not too shy._

_"And I'm Patrick. And this is Sam." He pointed to a very_

_pretty girl next to him. And she waved to me._

_"Hey, Charlie." Sam had a very nice smile._

I blushed, though I felt very happy. I kept reading and blushed again.

_Incidentally, Sam has brown hair and very very pretty green eyes. The kind of green that doesn't make a big deal about itself._

I'm not biased or anything because Charlie's my boyfriend and stuff, but this was seriously the best book I'd read in a very long time.

I reached the part where we were in my pickup truck driving to the party.

_There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don't know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam's pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials._

_And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word "baby" in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet._

_Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something._

_"I feel infinite."_

_And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. _

It was the greatest thing we'd ever heard. We spoke about him and what he said for weeks. Patrick mostly said how strange Charlie was, and how much he liked him because of that. I understood what Charlie meant when I read the next part.

_Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it's not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle seat of a pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain._

I read all about the party at Bob's place, and soon I reached a very special part.

_Then, Patrick pointed at me, and said something to Bob._

_"He's something, isn't he?"_

_Bob nodded his head. Patrick then said something I don't think I'll ever forget._

_"He's a wallflower."_

_And Bob really nodded his head. And the whole room nodded their head. And I started to feel nervous in the Bob way, but Patrick didn't let me get too nervous. He sat down next to me._

_"You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand."_

_I didn't know that other people thought things about me. I didn't know that they looked. I was sitting on the floor of a basement of my first real party between Sam and Patrick, and I remembered that Sam introduced me as her friend to Bob. And I remembered that Patrick had done the same for Brad. And I started to cry. And nobody in that room looked at me weird for doing it. And then I really started to cry._

_Bob raised his drink and asked everyone to do the same._

_"To Charlie."_

_And the whole group said, "To Charlie."_

_I didn't know why they did that, but it was very special to me_

_that they did. Especially Sam. Especially her._

I smiled, and looked at Charlie. He asked me, "Where have you reached?"

"I just finished the part where Patrick says you're a wallflower, and we all just raised our glasses to you, and you just said how special it was to you," I replied.

"Wow, that far?"

"It's a great book. I can't stop reading," I said. He grinned and kissed my cheek.

I resumed reading and reached the part where we go through the Fort Pitt Tunnel with him for the very first time.

_After the dance, we left in Sam's pickup. Patrick was driving this time. As we were approaching the Fort Pitt Tunnel, Sam asked Patrick to pull to the side of the road. I didn't know what was going on. Sam then climbed in the back of the pickup, wearing nothing but her dance dress. She told Patrick to drive, and he got this smile on his face. I guess they had done this before._

_Anyway, Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called "Landslide." When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing._

_And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite. _

_Love always,_

_Charlie_

I got a little teary-eyed at this part. But I wasn't sad, the memory was so sweet it made me emotional.

I glanced at Charlie, who was yawning.

"I finished part one," I told him.

"How do you like it so far?" He asked. I didn't know how to answer his question. There were no words.

"It's... I don't know if there's a word good enough to describe it, Charlie. It's given me a different perspective on everything that happened that year," I said, and I meant every word of it.

"Thank you. Do you maybe want to..."

"Go to bed? Yeah, sure," I finished.

We got changed and went to bed. I fell asleep the moment my head touched the pillow.

It was probably two or three in the morning when I woke up because the mattress was moving too much. I thought it was an earthquake before I heard Charlie's pained voice.

"No, please," I looked at him and saw him covered in sweat and shuddering. What happened to him? I quickly scooted closer to him and propped myself up on my elbow. I put one hand on his forehead and the other on his chest.

"Charlie? Charlie, wake up. It's okay, it's just a dream. Come on, wake up," I whispered while shaking him gently. I kept whispering and shaking him, and he suddenly sat up panting. I got even more worried when he put his head in his hands and starting muttering, "Stop it, stop."

"Charlie?" I asked tentatively and he turned around. But I wasn't looking at Charlie, I was looking at a scared and vulnerable boy who'd seen too much.

I came closer and hugged him. I ran my hand through his hair and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I felt him shake his head and he said, "Not yet. I need some air. I'm sorry, Sam." He pulled back but his hands didn't leave my waist. I had a really bad feeling, a feeling I was sure I never wanted to experience. Not now, not ever. I leaned in and kissed him.

"You know I'm there if you need to talk, right?"

"I know that, Sam. Thanks. It was just a dream, don't worry." With that he got out of bed and left. I was getting really worried, because there was definitely something Charlie wasn't telling me, and it was bothering him. And I felt bad because he wouldn't let me help him, then I felt bad for feeling that because I knew he wasn't ready to tell me, and if he was, he would let me in. I couldn't fall asleep, so I just sat in bed thinking about the book. I thought about reading it, but I was too worried and tired to, and I wanted to pay attention to it because it was that special.

Charlie came back half an hour later. I was pretending to sleep because I knew he wouldn't like to see me up because of him. I felt a soft bounce and two arms wrapped themselves around me.

I couldn't focus on anything the next day at work. Partly because I couldn't wait to continue the book, but mostly because I was really worried about Charlie.

I ran back home. I found Charlie in the living room working on his typewriter. He looked really sad.

I said, "Hi Charlie. How're you doing?" I knew he knew what I was talking about.

He got up and hugged me really tightly. Then, he kissed me really hard. I admit we got a little carried away, but we did make it to the bedroom. I just can't do things like that on a couch.

After about an hour's...physical exercise, Charlie asked me, "Are you tired?"

"No, not really," I replied.

"So, do you want to continue reading?"

"Yes! Absolutely!" I said excitedly. I grabbed his T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and put them on. I turned around to find Charlie staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. His shirtless chest.

"What?"

"You have my T-shirt. What am I supposed to wear?"

"This surely isn't the only T-shirt you have. And anyway, you look just fine like this." I couldn't believe I just said that out loud.

"Okay then. Lets read," he said and blushed. I blushed too.

We climbed in bed and I started reading.

_November 7, 1991 _

_Dear friend,_

_It was one of those days that I didn't mind going to school because the weather was so pretty. The sky was overcast with clouds, and the air felt like a warm bath. I don't think I ever felt that clean before. When I got home, I had to mow the lawn for my allowance, and I didn't mind one bit. I just listened to the music, and breathed in the day, and remembered things. Things like walking around the neighborhood and looking at the houses and the lawns and the colorful trees and having that be enough._

_I do not know anything about Zen or things that the Chinese or Indians do as part of their religion, but one of the girls from the party with the tattoo and belly button ring has been a Buddhist since July. She talks about very little else except maybe how expensive cigarettes are. I see her at lunch sometimes, smoking between Patrick and Sam. Her name is Mary Elizabeth._

_Mary Elizabeth told me that the thing about Zen is that it makes you connected to everything in the world. You are part of the trees and the grass and the dogs. Things like that. She even explained how her tattoo symbolized this, but I can't remember how. So, I guess Zen is a day like this when you are part of the air and remember things._

Mary Elisabeth told me about it too. I just never thought about it like Charlie did. I read on, Patrick and Brad's story, Charlie getting a B on his essay, and him deciding to be a writer. And I started going out with Craig, in the book I mean. Then I reached this part.

_There is this one photograph of Sam that is just beautiful. It would be impossible to describe how beautiful it is, but I'll try._

_If you listen to the song "Asleep," and you think about those pretty weather days that make you remember things, and you think about the prettiest eyes you've known, and you cry, and the person holds you back, then I think you will see the photograph._

_I want Sam to stop liking Craig._

_Now, I guess maybe you think that's because I am jealous of him. I'm not. Honest. It's just that Craig doesn't really listen to her when she talks. I don't mean that he's a bad guy because he's not. It's just that he always looks distracted._

_It's like he would take a photograph of Sam, and the photograph would be beautiful. And he would think that the reason the photograph was beautiful was because of how he took it. If I took it, I would know that the only reason it's beautiful is because of Sam._

I never knew Charlie noticed so much, saw so much. I read the part where he asked his sister about me, and I felt very sad, because that was not me. That was never me. I soon reached the part where he goes to his great aunt's house.

_I remember there was one time that my brother drove my grandfather back to the retirement home, and I rode along. My brother always understood my grandfather. He rarely got angry at him unless my grandfather said something mean about my mom or sister or made a scene in public. I remember it was snowing really hard, and it was very quiet. Almost peaceful. And my grandfather calmed down and started talking a different kind of talk._

_He told us that when he was sixteen, he had to leave school because his dad died, and someone had to support the family. He talked about the time when he had to go to the mill three times a day to see if there was any work for him. And he talked about how cold it was. And how hungry he was because he made sure his family always ate before him. Things he said we just wouldn't_

_understand because we were lucky. _

_Then, he talked about his daughters, my mom and Aunt Helen._

_"I know how your mom feels about me. I know Helen, too. There was one time ... I went to the mill ... no work ... none. ... I came home at two in the morning ... pissed and pissed ... your grandmother showed me their report cards ... C-plus average ... and these were smart girls. So, I went into their room and I beat some sense into them ... and when it was done and they were crying, I just held up their report cards and said ... `This will never happen again.' She still talks about it ... your mother ... but you know something ... it never did happen again ... they went to college ... both of them. I just wish I could have sent them ... I always wanted to send them. ... I wish Helen could have understood that. I think your mother did ... deep down ... she's a good woman ... you should be proud of her."_

_When I told my mom about this, she just looked very sad because he could never say those things to her. Not ever. Not even when he walked her down the aisle._

_But this Thanksgiving was different. It was my brother's football game, which we brought a VCR tape of for my relatives to watch. The whole family was gathered around the TV, even my great aunts, who never watch football. I'll never forget the looks on their faces when my brother took the field. It was a mixture of all things. My one cousin works in a gas station. And my other cousin has been out of work for two years since he injured his hand. And my other cousin has been wanting to go back to college for around seven years. And my dad said once that they were very jealous of my brother because he had a shot in life and was actually doing something about it._

I never knew this. In fact I didn't know so many things he wrote about. I felt like I was just starting to get to know him. Maybe I was. I don't know.

I kept reading, and I reached the secret Santa game. I read all about the presents Charlie planned for Patrick, and how he thought Mary Elisabeth was his secret Santa. It kind of did make sense from his perspective. We were all exchanging presents, because everyone was going away with their families for the holidays.

It was my turn now.

_Last came Sam. I had been thinking about this present for a long time. I think I thought about this present from the first time I really saw her. Not met her or saw her but the first time I really saw her if you know what I mean. There was a card attached._

_Inside the card, I told Sam that the present I gave her was given to me by my Aunt Helen. It was an old 45 record that had the Beatles' song "Something." I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and thinking about grown-up things. I would go to my bedroom window and stare at my reflection in the glass and the trees behind it and just listen to the song for hours. I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person. And I didn't mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways. So, I was giving it to Sam. Sam looked at me soft. And she hugged me. And I closed my eyes because I wanted to know nothing but her arms. And she kissed my cheek and whispered so nobody could hear._

_"I love you."_

_I knew that she meant it in a friend way, but I didn't care because it was the third time since my Aunt Helen died that I heard it from anyone. The other two times were from my mom._

It was the most beautiful present I'd even gotten from anyone. Until now.

I read about the typewriter and our first kiss.

_After that, I couldn't believe that Sam actually got me a present because I honestly thought that the "I love you" was it._

That was something to expect from Charlie.

_But she did get me a present. And for the first time, something nice like that made me smile and not cry. I guess Sam and Patrick went to the same thrift store because their gifts went together. She took me to her room and stood me in front of her dresser, which was covered in a pillowcase with pretty colors. She lifted off the pillowcase, and there I was, standing in my old suit, looking at an old typewriter with a fresh ribbon. Inside the typewriter was a piece of white paper._

_On that piece of white paper, Sam wrote, "Write about me sometime." And I typed something back to her, standing right there in her bedroom. I just typed._

_"I will."_

_And I felt good that those were the first two words that I ever typed on my new old typewriter that Sam gave me. We just sat there quiet for a moment, and she smiled. And I moved to the typewriter again, and I wrote something._

_"I love you, too."_

_And Sam looked at the paper, and she looked at me._

_"Charlie ... have you ever kissed a girl?"_

_I shook my head no. It was so quiet._

_"Not even when you were little?"_

_I shook my head no again. And she looked very sad._

_She told me about the first time she was kissed. She told me_

_that it was with one of her dad's friends. She was seven. And she told nobody about it except for Mary Elizabeth and then Patrick a year ago. And she started to cry. And she said something that I won't forget. Ever._

_"I know that you know that I like Craig. And I know that I told you not to think of me that way. And I know that we can't be together like that. But I want to forget all those things for a minute. Okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you. Okay?"_

_"Okay." She was crying harder now. And I was, too, because when I hear something like that I just can't help it._

_"I just want to make sure of that. Okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never_

_tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life._

I felt the same way too. Because I thought he was great, and I wanted to make sure that his first kiss was special. I also kind of wished he'd hugged me after I told him about my first kiss.

I read the poem, it was still as beautiful as it was back then.

I kept reading.

_I'm really glad that Christmas and my birthday are soon because that means they will be over soon because I can already feel myself going to a bad place I used to go. After my Aunt Helen was gone, I went to that place. It got so bad that my mom had to take me to a doctor, and I was held back a grade. But now I'm trying not to think about it too much because that makes it worse. _

_It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Well, sometimes, I can do that, but I don't need an hour in front of a mirror. It happens very fast, and things start to slip away. And I just open my eyes, and I see nothing. And then I start to breathe really hard trying to see something, but I can't. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me._

This shocked me. A lot. I kept reading, and I realised Charlie's mental health was getting worse, I could tell because his writing style had changed. I wish I'd known. I really do. This one part really scared me.

_I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. If this gets any worse, I might have to go back to the doctor. It's getting that bad again._

_Love always,_

_Charlie_

I didn't know so much was happening with him when it was happening. I wish he'd told me, maybe I could've helped him. At least I could've tried.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I blurted out. I didn't mean to ask him.

"Tell you what?"

"That you were getting bad? Around your birthday?" I asked. I guessed now that we were on the topic, I might as well ask about it.

"You weren't there, and I didn't want to bother you by calling you."

"But I came back, didn't I? You could've talked to me then," I argued.

"Sam, this was something I had to figure out on my own, okay? Just forget about it. It's a long story." He started to lie down.

"Charlie, if I find something out about you from the book, something that I should've been told by you, I'll never forgive you." He froze. I knew then that there was something in the book I should know about, and I had a hunch that it was a contributing factor to his strange behaviour.

"Goodnight Charlie," I said curtly.

Quite honestly, I didn't sleep a wink that night.

People had started to ask me at work if something was wrong, because I couldn't focus on anything. I just couldn't stop thinking about Charlie, it was pushing me over the edge. I didn't speak to him all morning and he didn't tell me what was bothering him. I didn't even say bye and kiss him like I always I did.

When I came back home, I was expecting to find Charlie sitting in the living room like he always did. I was hoping I could talk to him, because I hated fighting with him. But he wasn't there. I called out his name a couple of times but he didn't answer. I thought maybe he was out, but I saw his wallet and phone on the coffee table. I was really scared by this point. I looked everywhere, the kitchen, the bathroom, the study. Only the bedroom was left. The door was closed, and I could hear muffled sounds.

I opened the door to find Charlie sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, crying.

**AN: cliffy? I dunno, sort of... So...what do ya'll think? You know what's next...REVIEW! **

**I want to be a Pegasus. **


	9. Chapter 8: Revelation

**AN: so... Hi! I really have nothing to say in this author's note, except, thank you for the reviews! I'm so glad ya'll like my writing as much as you do. And thanks to all my critics too! You made my writing better!**

**So... I'm thinking I'll update "Charlie Is Back," the Sam's PoV thing... What do you think?**

**IMPORTANT: I need songs for all the chapters! Please suggest some! Thanks! Also, this a two part thing. The songs for this two part thing is "Fix You" by Coldplay and "Last Hope" by Paramore. **

**Enjoy and review! **

Sam's PoV:

...I opened the door to find Charlie sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, crying.

I was numb with shock and horror. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there and watched him cry, and mutter things I didn't understand in an extremely pained voice. I tried to move my legs, and my knees gave out and I almost fell. I stumbled over to him, and sat down next to him. He didn't acknowledge my presence and kept crying.

"Charlie?" I whispered, but he didn't respond. I wrapped my arms around him and he put his head on my shoulder and kept crying.

"I can't stop it, Sam. How do I stop it?" What was he talking about?

"S-stop what, Charlie?"

"It just k-keeps spinning, all the time. I keep seeing it. It never stops." He sounded so pained, and I didn't know how to help him. I was clueless, worried, and really, very scared.

"What are you seeing, Charlie? Tell me," I whispered. I was crying too, it hurt so much to see him in that much pain.

"All their l-lives, all the time. It j-just keeps flashing in my head. And Aunt Helen, I can't stop s-seeing what she did to me, Sam," he stammered. My heart stopped. What did she do to him?

"What...what did s-she do?"

"S-she..." He didn't complete his sentence. I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to make him more troubled than he already was.

I grabbed a glass of water and said, "Here, have some water." He drank the glass of water and stopped crying. He just kept staring at this one spot on the ground, as if it were showing him something. I grabbed his shoulders and walked him to the bed. I sat down and he put his head on my lap and kept staring at the ceiling. I combed my fingers through his hair and told him to get some sleep.

"But what if I get bad dreams?" He asked.

"If you do, I'll be there to wake you up. Don't worry, Charlie," I assured him. He nodded and closed his eyes, and I felt his breathing slow down. I was glad he fell asleep, because I had time to think about what he was going through. I decided to finish reading the book, so I would know how it happened the first time and how much worse can he get.

I didn't know what to think about anything by this point. Charlie was asleep for at least three hours, and that gave me time to read the book. I found out so much about him. But his mental health was at a steady decline throughout the remainder of the book. Eventually I reached the part where we were in my room the night before I left for Penn State.

_"So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I'm going to be who I really am. I'm going to do what I want to do. And I'm going to figure out what that is. But right now I'm here with you. And I want to know where you are, what you need, and what you want to do."_

_She waited patiently for my answer. But after everything she said, I figured that I should just do what I wanted to do. Not think about it. Not say it out loud. And if she didn't like it, then she could just say so. And we could go back to packing._

_So, I kissed her. And she kissed me back. And we lay down on the floor and kept kissing. And it was soft. And we made quiet noises. And kept silent. And still. We went over to the bed and lay down on all the things that weren't put in suitcases. And we touched each other from the waist up over our clothes. And then under our clothes. And then without clothes._

I still remembered it. It was beautiful, and it felt so right.

_And it was so beautiful. She was so beautiful. She took my hand and slid it under her pants. And I touched her. And I just couldn't believe it. It was like everything made sense. Until she moved her hand under my pants, and she touched me._

_That's when I stopped her._

This was a very important part for me, because I would finally get to know what happened that night. It was life or death now.

_"What's wrong?" she asked. "Did that hurt?"_

_I shook my head. It felt good actually. I didn't know what was wrong._

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"_

_"No. Don't be sorry," I said._

_"But, I feel bad," she said._

_"Please don't feel bad. It was very nice," I said. I was_

_starting to get really upset._

_"You're not ready?" she asked._

_I nodded. But that wasn't it._

I felt a little hurt when I read that. But I didn't want to jump to conclusions.

_I didn't know what it was. "It's okay that you're not ready," she said. She was being really nice to me, but I was just feeling so bad._

_"Charlie, do you want to go home?" she asked._

_I guess I nodded because she helped me get dressed. And then she put on her shirt. And I wanted to kick myself for being such a baby. Because I loved Sam. And we were together. And I was ruining it. Just ruining it. Just terrible. I felt so terrible._

_She took me outside._

_"Do you need a ride?" she asked. I had my father's car. I wasn't drunk. She looked really worried._

I was really worried. He didn't look very well that night. He looked very troubled.

_"No, thanks."_

_"Charlie, I'm not going to let you drive like this."_

_"I'm sorry. I'll walk then," I said._

_"It's two o'clock in the morning. I'm driving you home." She went to another room to get the car keys. I just stood in the entry hall. I felt like I wanted to die._

_"You're white as a sheet, Charlie. Do you need some water?"_

_ "No. I don't know." I started to cry really hard._

_"Here. Just lie down on the couch," she said._

_She laid me down on the couch. She brought out a damp_

_washcloth and put it on my forehead._

_"You can sleep here tonight. Okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"Just calm down. Take deep breaths."_

_I did what she told me. And just before I fell asleep, I said something._

_"I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry," I said._

_"It's okay, Charlie. Just go to sleep," Sam said._

_But I wasn't talking to Sam anymore. I was talking to someone else._

What? But...I was the only person in the room.

_When I fell asleep, I had this dream. My brother and my_

_sister and I were watching television with my Aunt Helen. Everything was in slow motion. The sound was thick. And she was doing what Sam was doing. That's when I woke up._

So...

_And I didn't know what the hell was going on. Sam and Patrick were standing over me. Patrick asked if I wanted some breakfast. I guess I nodded. We went and ate. Sam still looked worried. Patrick looked normal. We had bacon and eggs with their parents, and everyone made small talk. I don't know why I'm telling you about bacon and eggs. It's not important. It's not important at all. Mary Elizabeth and everyone came over, and while Sam's mom was busy checking everything twice, we all walked to the driveway. Sam and Patrick's parents got in the van. Patrick got in the driver's side of Sam's pickup truck, telling everyone he'd see them in a couple of days. Then, Sam hugged and said good-bye to everyone. Since she was coming back for a few days toward the end of the summer, it was more of a "see ya" than a good-bye._

_I was last. Sam walked up and held me for a long time. Finally, she whispered in my ear. She said a lot of wonderful things about how it was okay that I wasn't ready last night and how she would miss me and how she wanted me to take care of myself while she was gone._

_"You're my best friend," was all I could say in return._

_She smiled and kissed my cheek, and it was like for a moment, the bad part of last night disappeared. But it still felt like a good-bye rather than a "see ya." The thing was, I didn't cry. I didn't know what I felt. _

Clueless. That was the perfect word to describe me.

_Finally, Sam climbed into her pickup, and Patrick started it up. And a great song was playing. And everyone smiled. Including me. But I wasn't there anymore._

Crap.

_It wasn't until I couldn't see the cars that I came back and things started feeling bad again. But this time, they felt much worse. Mary Elizabeth and everyone were crying now, and they asked me if I wanted to go to the Big Boy or something. I told them no. Thank you. I need to go home._

_"Are you okay, Charlie?" Mary Elizabeth asked. I guess I was starting to look bad again because she looked worried._

_"I'm fine. I'm just tired," I lied. I got in my dad's car, and drove away. And I could hear all these songs on the radio, but the radio wasn't on. And when I got into the driveway, I think I forgot to turn off the car. I just went to the couch in the family room where the TV is. And I could see the TV shows, but the TV wasn't on._

Crap Crap Crap Crap. I did not like the sound of that. I really did not like that.

_I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like all I can do is keep writing this gibberish to keep from breaking apart. Sam's gone. And Patrick won't be home for a few days. And I just couldn't talk with Mary Elizabeth or anybody or my brother or anybody in my family. Except maybe my aunt Helen. But she's gone. And even if she were here, I don't think I could talk to her either. Because I'm starting to feel like what I dreamt about her last night was true. And my psychiatrist's questions weren't weird after all._

Oh crap.

_I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I know other people have it a lot worse. I do know that, but it's crashing in anyway, and I just can't stop thinking that the little kid eating french fries with his mom in the shopping mall is going to grow up and hit my sister. I'd do anything not to think that. I know I'm thinking too fast again, and it's all in my head like the trance, but it's there, and it won't go away. I just keep seeing him, and he keeps hitting my sister, and he won't stop, and I want him to stop because he doesn't mean it, but he just doesn't listen, and I don't know what to do._

Charlie, why didn't you tell me? I could've been there for you, I could've helped you get through the tough time you went through. I could've been a friend to you, but you didn't let me in.

_I'm sorry, but I have to stop this letter now._

_But first, I want to thank you for being one of those people who listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even though you could have. I really mean it, and I'm sorry I've put you through this when you don't even know who I am, and we've never met in person, and I can't tell you who I am because I promised to keep all those little secrets. I just don't want you to think that I picked your name out of the phone book. It would kill me if you thought that. So, please believe me when I tell you that I felt terrible after Michael died, and I saw a girl in class, who didn't notice me, and she talked all about you to a friend of hers. And even though I didn't know you, I felt like I did because you sounded like such a good person. The kind of person who wouldn't mind receiving letters from a kid. The kind of person who would understand how they were better than a diary because there is communion and a diary can be found. I just don't want you to worry about me, or think that you've met me, or waste your time anymore. I'm so sorry that I wasted your time because you really do mean a lot to me and I hope you have a very nice life because I really think you deserve it. I really do. I hope you do, too. Okay, then. Goodbye._

_Love always,_

_Charlie_

Oh my god. That...that sounded suicidal! Charlie was suicidal, oh my god. He didn't...he didn't do anything stupid, right? I mean...he's right here on my lap, he didn't try to do anything stupid...right? I thought the book had ended there, but there was an epilogue. I thanked God. I thanked everything and I apologised for all the sins I'd committed.

_epilogue_

_August 23, 1992 Dear friend,_

_I've been in the hospital for the past two months._

_They just released me yesterday. The doctor told me that my mother and father found me sitting on the couch in the family room. I was_

_completely naked, just watching the television, which wasn't on. I wouldn't speak or snap out of it, they said. My father even slapped me to wake me up, and like I told you, he never hits. But it didn't work. So, they brought me to the hospital where I stayed when I was seven after my aunt Helen died. They told me I didn't speak or acknowledge anyone for a week. Not even Patrick, whom I guess visited me during that time. It's scary to think about._

Patrick told me about that. He was very sad, and very worried.

_I don't really want to talk about the questions and the answers. But I kind of figured out that everything I dreamt about my aunt Helen was true. And after a while, I realized that it happened every Saturday when we would watch television._

I couldn't believe it. It couldn't have been true. As much as I wanted it to not be real, I had to accept that it was true. I started crying when I read his family's reaction.

_The first few weeks in the hospital were very hard._

_The hardest part was sitting in the doctor's office when the doctor told my mom and dad what had happened. I have never seen my mother cry so much. Or my father look so angry. Because they didn't know it was happening when it was._

But I felt better when I read the next part.

_But the doctor has helped me work out a lot of things since then. About my aunt Helen. And about my family. And friends. And me. There are a lot of stages to these kinds of things, and she was really great through all of them._

_The thing that helped me the most, though, was the time I could have visitors. My family, including my brother and sister, always came for those days until my brother had to go back to school to play football. After that, my family came without my brother, and my brother sent me cards. He even told me on his last card that he read my report on Walden and liked it a lot, which made me feel really good. Just like the first time I saw Patrick. The best thing about Patrick is that even when you're in a hospital, he doesn't change. He just cracks jokes to make you feel better instead of asking you questions about feeling worse. He even brought me a letter from Sam, and Sam said that she was coming back at the end of August, and if I got better by then, she and Patrick would drive me through the tunnel. And this time, I could stand in the back of the pickup truck if I wanted to. Things like that helped more than anything._

_The days when I received mail were good, too. My grandfather sent me a really nice letter. So did my great aunt. So did my grandma and Great Uncle Phil. My Aunt Rebecca even sent me flowers with a card that was signed by all my Ohio cousins. It was nice to know that they were thinking about me just like it was nice the time Patrick brought Mary Elizabeth and Alice and Bob and everyone for a visit. Including Peter and Craig. I guess they're friends again. And I was glad they were. Just like I was glad that Mary Elizabeth did most of the talking. Because it made things feel more normal. Mary Elizabeth even stayed a little later than the others. I was so happy to have a chance to talk with her alone before she left for Berkeley. Just like I was happy for Bill and his girlfriend when they came to see me two weeks ago. They're getting married this November, and they want me to go to their wedding. It's nice to have things to look forward to._

I felt extremely proud of Charlie when I read on.

_The time it started to feel like everything was going to be all right was the time when my sister and brother stayed after my parents had left. This was some time in July. They asked me a lot of questions about Aunt Helen because I guess nothing had ever happened to them. And my brother looked really sad. And my sister looked really mad. It was at that time that things started to get clearer because there was nobody to hate anymore after that._

_What I mean is that I looked at my brother and sister, and I thought that maybe someday they would be an aunt and uncle, just like I would be an uncle. Just like my mother and Aunt Helen were sisters._

_And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn't do or what they didn't know. I don't know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. Maybe if my grandfather didn't hit her, my mom wouldn't be so quiet. And maybe she wouldn't have married my dad because he doesn't hit. And maybe I would never have been born. But I'm very glad to have been born, so I don't know what to say about it all especially since my mom seems happy with her life, and I don't know what else there is to want._

_It's like if I blamed my aunt Helen, I would have to blame her dad for hitting her and the friend of the family that fooled around with her when she was little. And the person that fooled around with him. And God for not stopping all this and things that are much worse. And I did do that for a while, but then I just couldn't anymore. Because it wasn't going anywhere. Because it wasn't the point._

I read something I don't think I'll ever forget.

_So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them._

_I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad. Just like what my sister said when I had been in the hospital for a while. She said that she was really worried about going to college, and considering what I was going through, she felt really dumb about it. But I don't know why she would feel dumb. I'd be worried, too. And really, I don't think I have it any better or worse than she does. I don't know. It's just different. Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam said. Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them._

I read the end, where we go through the tunnel again, and how he starts crying because he felt aware. And I started crying, because after everything he'd gone through, he still didn't blame his aunt for being the cause of his suffering. He was right, in the end, blaming doesn't take you anywhere, it isn't the point. I decided then that I wouldn't let him get that bad again. I decided to be there for him and get him out of this bad place he'd ended up in. No matter what it takes.

I set the book aside and wiped my tears. I felt Charlie's head move and I realised I couldn't feel my legs, I guess that's because I'd been sitting like that for quite some time. I felt him stir again and started freaking out about him having a bad dream. Until I heard his sleepy voice.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You stayed." What did that mean?

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I thought I scared you."

"You did, Charlie. But I'm scared for you, I'm not scared of you. I'm going to stay, and I'm going to help you get better and figure it out, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks, Sam." I smiled and nodded.

He looked at his book and looked at me.

Before he asked me anything, I said, "I know now, Charlie. And I am very proud of you. You're very strong." I knew he wouldn't believe me, but I meant everything I said.

"You really think so?" He asked, looking better than before.

"I know so. I wouldn't have been able to go through all that without quitting. You went through it alone, and you moved on. I couldn't have done that. Honest."

"I had all of you," he said.

"But we didn't know what was happening to you when it was, Charlie. You faced it alone, and kicked some serious butt."

He laughed a sad kind of laugh at my compliment.

We were quiet.

I said, "Charlie?"

"Yes?"

"I need you to talk to me."

"About what?"

"About you. I want to know what's going through your head right now. I want to know what you're feeling, what you want and what you need."

He straightened himself in my lap and looked at me right in the eyes. He changed my perspective about everything when he started talking.


	10. Chapter 9: Charlie's Demons

**AN: I am sorry for the wait! I needed time to put the ideas together, so yeah. But...I REACHED FORTY TWO REVIEWS AND 31 FOLLOWS AND 15 FAVS! Oh my god, thank you guys so much! I will not let you down. **

**PS: I'm still looking for songs for all the chapters, now...it's not a songfic, no way. But I think it would be nice to have music when you're reading. For me personally, music helps me sort things out in my head, and it just makes life a little bit better. **

**Now on to the story. The song for the first part this chapter is... DEMONS BY IMAGINE DRAGONS! I love this song so much! And for the second part (you'll know when it comes) the song is... LAST HOPE BY PARAMORE!**

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

He straightened himself in my lap and looked at me right in the eyes. He changed my perspective about everything when he started talking.

"I think, if you really want to know what's going on with me right now, you should know that I am not bitter. I am not bitter about anything that may or may not have happened in the past. I think that's because I just couldn't bring myself to blame people and be angry with them anymore for things they did or didn't do, I didn't think that it would make my life better or easier than it was or it would change me and what happened to me. It took some time, but I learned to accept that it happened, and I learned to accept that what happened was sad, and I learned to move on. And maybe it just made me a better person than I was, and maybe that's because I chose to not let it affect my future in the bad way. I mean, I could have made a big mess of my life by staying angry at Aunt Helen or that friend of the family that fooled around with her or God for letting all this happen, I could have become a drunkard and messed up my education, and at a point in my life, I almost did choose that path. But then I started to understand that I didn't deserve a terrible life, and my family didn't deserve a terrible life because of a son who went the wrong way. And you and Patrick and everyone didn't deserve a sorry excuse for a friend. Nobody deserved any of that. And maybe by just not going the wrong way, I got you back in my life, and you ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me since that football game in my freshman year. And maybe I'll get better sooner because of all this, and maybe I'll get better without the therapist. So, I'm not bitter," Charlie finished. I just sat there, speechless. The guy really knew how to talk. Resisting the urge to kiss him for saying that I was the best thing that happened to him since that football game, I asked, "Then...why were you crying? And do the nightmares and the zoning out have something to do with it?"

He hesitated and sighed. But he finally replied, "Yes, they have something to do with it." I urged him to go on.

"Sam, I don't know how to explain this, but I'll try. Sometimes... I can't help it, you know? Sometimes, everything just threatens to slip away, and most of the time I can control it. But sometimes, I can't stop it, I just open my eyes and I can't see anything and it's very scary, and I start breathing very fast trying to see something-"

"I know, Charlie. Calm down," I said, putting on a brave face, even though I was extremely scared.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I just...I lost control. I couldn't stop it this time, and everything started spinning, and all of it came crashing down, and I started picturing things. It hasn't happened this bad since-" he stopped. He hesitated again and continued, "It hasn't happened in a while but... I couldn't stop picturing things. I don't know why, it happens without warning. And I don't know what to do. It's one of those times when nothing helps, you know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean, Charlie. Don't control it, just let it out," I said. I remembered something.

"What were you saying before you stopped?" He looked at me confusedly.

"You know, when you were saying it hadn't happened this bad since... What were you saying?"

"I-uh-nothing. It was...nothing," he stuttered. I glared at him.

"Charlie, you're a terrible liar. What is it?"

"Well, just don't get angry, okay? Because I do seriously love you, Sam. I really do," Charlie said. I looked at him blankly. "I love you too, but...what?"

"Well...you see, back in Canada... I had a...sort of...girlfriend," I think I kind of died a little inside when I heard that. I had never imagined him with anyone else. Anyone else...but me. I felt bad because it was rather selfish of me. He continued, "And I...well...I really liked this girl, her name was Callie. We went out for about a year...and one day...I went to her house, and she was...well... getting intimate with this other guy that I was friends with. I don't want to go into details, but it was ugly, Sam. It hit me hard, and that's when I started getting bad, picturing things and everything. I did get help eventually, and the therapist helped me figure a lot of things out. But most importantly, I figured out that it was her dishonesty and breach of trust that hurt me, not heartbreak. This was just after I graduated college. I haven't gotten this bad since then. So...yeah."

"Oh." Was all I could say. I was surprised to find that I wasn't jealous, I felt bad for the girl, because she let go of such an amazing guy.

We sat in comfortable silence.

"Are you hungry?" Charlie asked after some time.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Yes. Should we go out?"

"No, let's order pizza." I really didn't feel like going out.

"Okay." He smiled. I ordered a pepperoni pizza and Charlie and I made small talk.

We ate our pizza and went to bed.

* * *

April 23, 2002

Dear friend,

A lot has happened since I told you about me getting bad again. But most importantly, Sam knows now. She caught on to the signs, when I zoned out or had nightmares. She didn't what exactly happened to me, but she knew something was wrong. She is very smart. Anyway, two days back, I got as bad as I got when the whole thing with Callie happened. Like, everything started spinning and I kept having flashbacks and I kept seeing things that never happened. And Sam decided to come home early from work that day. Before I tell you what happened, you should know she has finished reading the book. I wasn't sure if she'd like to read my strange thoughts about everything, or the fact that I published our story, but she said she loved the book, and I think she wasn't just saying that to be nice.

I think Sam called out my name a couple of times, but I was too messed up to hear her. After a couple of minutes, she came to the bedroom and found me crying. I don't want to go into the details, but she consoled me and hugged me. And she took me to the bed and told me to get some sleep. And I did. I guess I was asleep for a while, because by the time I woke up she had finished reading it, and she looked a little red. I really didn't like the idea of her crying because of me or something I wrote, but I didn't say anything, because even though she looked sad, it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time. But I guess it was different this time because she was sad because I was sad. I don't know. But it surprised me that she didn't find it overwhelming to see me like this. Most people did find it overwhelming, and I didn't see them for a while after that. I did ask her if I scared her, and she said something that is very important to me.

"You did, Charlie. But I'm scared for you, I'm not scared of you. I'm going to stay, and I'm going to help you get better and figure it out, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

I have been talking to Sam a lot these days. She said that I had to tell her everything that was on my mind. I have been telling her everything that was on my mind. And she has helped me figure out a lot of things about everything. About Aunt Helen. And everything else.

I told her about Callie too, and she said I didn't deserve someone like her. Sam said, "You know, your English teacher was right. About accepting the love we think we deserve. But...can we make them know that they deserve more?"

I said, "We can try." And Sam smiled at me, as if she understood what I really meant. I think I said what I said because I was thinking about Sam's relationship with Craig and Dean (AN: he's the one from the start of this story, the live in guy). And I was thinking about how she deserved somebody so much better than them. Because she is so beautiful, and she deserves someone who knows that she is the most beautiful person in the world. She seems happy with me, so maybe I'm doing something right.

But that's not the point. I feel much better now, and I think that's because I've been talking to someone I love as much as I do, and trust with my life. Everything is starting to make sense again. And I hope it lasts forever.

Incidentally, Mary Elizabeth and Alice arrive in New York tomorrow. Sam can't stop talking about how happy she is that we're all coming together again and how we're going to have a blast. Sam, Patrick and I are going to pick them up in the pickup truck tomorrow. Also, Sam and Patrick want to surprise them. So they don't know about me. I just hope Mary Elizabeth doesn't kill me.

Love always,

Charlie

**AN: that didn't come out that good. Sorry. But I still hope you like it. You know what's next... REVIEW! **

**Pegasi rule. **


	11. Chapter 10: Mary Elizabeth and Alice

**AN: hi guys! So... I am so close to 50 reviews! Thank you! **

***IMPORTANT* I have a contest of sorts. The 50th reviewer gets a one shot/chapter of their choice. Just tell me what you want to read about through a review or a PM, and I'll write it for you (the 50th reviewer that is, whoever you are)! **

**The song for this chapter is... HERO'S WELCOME BY ARCHANGEL!**

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

Charlie woke up around seven o'clock, I think half hour before me. He had his arms around me. I was slightly awake, but mostly asleep, when I felt him lean over me and look over my head at the clock. He decided to wake me up, because we had to get ready, pick up Patrick, have breakfast with him, and reach the airport to pick up Mary Elizabeth and Alice, all before nine. But I really didn't want to wake up, because I could relive last night in my head again and again. He was...amazing. He was always amazing, but last night he was different...I can't pinpoint how, but he just was.

He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "Sam, wake up. We have to go meet Patrick."

I groaned and put my hand over his face, pushing him away gently. "Five more minutes, Charlie."

He sighed and said, "Sam, why do you choose all the wrong days to be sleepy?"

"Because you choose all the wrong nights to keep me up late screaming out your name. Now shut up." I could practically feel his face heat up, and I smirked. He muttered, " It was a rhetorical question."

"Sam, do you really want to be late? Mary Elizabeth won't be very happy." He said again.

I groaned again and turned to lay on my back. I glared at him, and he just smiled. He gave me a chaste kiss on my lips, and pulled away, but I pulled him down again and gave him a proper kiss.

"Good morning," He said when we pulled away.

"Good morning," I replied sleepily. I put my head on his chest and he played with her hair. It felt so soothing, I was starting to get drowsy again.

"Don't do that." I said after some time.

"Why?"

"You're going to make me fall asleep again." He laughed.

We showered and headed out to the pickup truck. I was wearing a yellow sundress with a brown shrug. Charlie looked dashing in a white dress shirt, a black suit coat and black pants. I said, "Why are you wearing your business clothes?"

"I have a meeting with my publishing company's head at Patrick's hotel. We have to discuss some things about the demographics we're targeting with my book. When we reach the hotel I'll hang out till ten forty and then I'll have to go. I'll be done by twelve."

I groaned and said, "Another meeting? Today? You've got to be joking, Charlie." He gave me a sad smile and said, "It's going to be the last one in a while, Sam. They're going to start printing the book with the new cover, and I'll be done. I promise." He put his arms around me and pulled me close, and I put my head on his shoulder. He pulled my face close to his and kissed me.

We reached Patrick's hotel in fifteen minutes and met him in the lobby.

Patrick didn't even say hi. He smirked at Charlie and said, "Looking sharp, huh? You are so dead today, Charlie."

"Thanks for the support, Patrick. I really appreciate it."

"I'm here for you." Patrick smirked wider.

We went to the hotel cafeteria for breakfast. After we got our breakfast and found a table, Charlie said, "Why do we have to do the whole "surprise" thing? Let's just tell them I'm here, an innocent life will be spared."

"An innocent life? Please. You should be dying of guilt right here for abandoning us and then suddenly popping out of nowhere. And anyway, we can't call them, they're on a plane right now, so your fate is sealed," Patrick said.

"I didn't abandon you," Charlie muttered.

"Well, you kind of did," I said.

"Not on purpose," he said.

We had breakfast and made small talk. We left for the airport around eight thirty. Charlie was very nervous, but mostly excited. I held his hand, and he seemed to relax a little. I was very happy, I hadn't seen them in almost six months. Mary Elizabeth has had a very interesting life after attending college at Berkeley. She moved to London after college, I'm not sure what she does there. She comes back every six months, she comes here, then goes to Pittsburgh, and then goes to San Fran to visit Patrick. She was very happy when Patrick told her he was in New York, so she planned her trip so she could stay with us and make it to Pittsburgh in time. She sometimes takes really long trips here, and this one just happened to be one.

Alice did well in film school, and moved to France to direct independent movies. We spoke on the phone and through video chatting, but she rarely ever came to visit. They both had the same connecting flight from Maine to New York, so they would have some extra time to catch up.

Patrick interrupted my thoughts when he said, "Charlie, since I am a nice person and I feel bad for you, you will stay in the car while we go pick them up. That way, she can't beat you to death in front of the airport."

Charlie looked visibly relaxed, and smiled at Patrick, and said, "Thanks Patrick. Thanks a lot."

We reached the airport and Charlie parked the pickup truck.

"We'll be back," I said as we were leaving. Charlie kissed me and nodded.

Patrick and I walked to the arrival gate. Patrick started talking about how excited he was to meet Mary Elizabeth and Alice, because it had been almost a year and two years respectively since he'd seen them in person, and how he couldn't wait to have fun now that almost the whole gang was together again. He got sad after he said that, because he was thinking about Bob. Bob fell sick a year and a half after I left for New York. A couple of months later, he was diagnosed with stage two lung cancer. His cancer's progression was slowed down with chemotherapy and radiation, but he wasn't the same after that. At least that's what Patrick told me. Bob didn't keep in touch anymore, but nobody knew why.

We reached the arrival gate, I put my hand on his arm and told him, "Patrick, I know you're sad about Bob. I'm sad about him too. But wouldn't it be better to feel happy about us finding Charlie again, and two of our best friends coming to visit us, and look forward to having fun with them? We have to enjoy the time we have together, I think we owe this much to Bob."

He smiled at me and said, "Yeah, you're right."

We waited for five more minutes, and I saw two girls walk out the door laughing. I almost started dancing with joy when I saw them. Mary Elizabeth had always been rebellious, and she was always supporting some feminist cause. At the moment, she had donned pink hair to raise awareness about breast cancer. Alice was almost unrecognisable, she had dyed her hair brown, and was wearing skinny jeans, knee length brown boots, a black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a grey scarf with an oversized brown bag. They spotted us and Alice started waving madly, so did I, and Mary Elizabeth just shook her head and smiled. They walked towards us and I hugged both of them, and then Patrick hugged both of them, and then we group hugged.

"Oh my god, Sam! It's been so long!" Alice squealed.

"I know! Alice, couldn't you find time off your busy schedule to grab a flight and meet us? We missed you so much! And I love the new hair, they really suit you." I squealed back.

"Yeah, I had a bad breakup, so I dyed my hair to move on."

"Isn't anyone going to say hi to me?" Mary Elizabeth interrupted. I laughed and hugged her again.

We walked towards the pickup truck and Patrick and I started grinning as we got closer.

"What's with all the grinning?" Mary Elizabeth asked.

Patrick said as we reached the truck, "Nothing, it's just Sam would like you to meet someone...special." I grinned even wider.

"Another boyfriend?" Mary Elizabeth whined, and Alice sighed. I almost burst out laughing.

"Yeah. But this one's special. Really special," I said. I could see Charlie smiling at us through the window. He mouthed, "Should I come out?" I nodded my head yes. He got out and walked towards us, buttoning up his coat on the way. He did look really good in that suit.

"That hot guy is your boyfriend? I'd never though I'd say this, but I'm impressed, Sam," Alice said. I chuckled, she is going to be so embarrassed when she finds out she called Charlie hot. I couldn't say I didn't agree with her though. He came over beside me and put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. He was smiling too, and when Mary Elizabeth and Alice introduced themselves, he started smiling wider.

"What's your name? You seem familiar, have we met before?" Mary Elizabeth said, and Alice nodded in agreement.

"My name is Charlie. Yeah, I think we've met before."

Their facial expressions changed from suspicion, to confusion, to shock, to shocked happiness.

"Oh my god." Alice gasped.

"It's him." Mary Elizabeth gasped.

But wasn't he in Canada?" They gasped together.

"I'm still here, you know." Charlie raised his hand. And that's when they both pounced on him. If Patrick and I weren't there, they would've beat him to death.

"Where the hell were you all these years? I hate you so much!" They both said things like that for about ten minutes. And then they hugged him and said they missed him.

We drove to their hotel and waited for them to check in and unpack. On the way, we explained our story again, and we explained how we got the pickup truck.

After they were done, we drove back to Patrick's hotel, and on the way Mary Elizabeth told us that she and Alice had co-ordinated their travel plans so they would match.

"So we're going to chill here for like...three or four weeks, and then we're going to go to Pittsburgh, and..." Mary Elizabeth trailed off.

"And you're going to...you're going to come along with us, all of you."

I was rewinding Charlie's mix tape as she Alice was saying that, and I froze. I looked at Charlie and found him staring back at me.

I couldn't go back to Pittsburgh.

**AN: so that's it. And remember, the 50th reviewer gets a one shot/chapter of their choice! So, you know what's next... REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 11: Patrick and Relationships

**AN: so...as promised, this chapter is dedicated to "Guest." As you wanted this chapter is Patrick. Lots of Patrick. There's angst too. So... I hope you like it! **

**The song for this chapter is... THE CAVE BY MUMFORD AND SONS!**

**Enjoy and review! **

Patrick's PoV:

"And you're going to...you're going to come along with us, all of you."

I watched as Sam froze in front of the tape player. And I watched as Charlie stared at her worriedly. And I watched as Mary Elizabeth and Alice looked at us as if they were waiting for us to say something.

Sam finally broke the silence and said, "I can't. I can't go to Pittsburgh." I knew why, but I just wished she would listen when I tried to tell her about home. Things had changed since they had the big fight.

"Patrick, I know you're trying to help me, but I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry," that's what she would say every time I tried to speak to her about home. It'd been around seven years since she left, and our parents didn't even try to mend things. It was all very sad to think about, how damaged our family became in just one night. But I don't let it show, I don't know why, but I have this urge to not tell anyone that I am not happy all the time.

"Hey, how bad could it be? You can come back early if you want." Alice reasoned.

"Alice, don't you understand? My parents hate me, and...and there are just too many bad memories there, and I don't want to go back to them," Sam said.

"They don't hate you, Sam," I spoke for the first time in the conversation. I knew nobody thought it was weird that I was acting so serious and quiet about all this, because they all knew that family was a sensitive issue.

I could see tears in her eyes, and Charlie put his hand on her thigh reassuringly. Sam put her hand on top of his and held it tightly.

"How? They haven't even tried to speak to me! Seven years, Patrick! That's how long I've been gone! Couldn't they find time in seven years to make one phone call?" She spoke, a little louder, and I saw her grip tighten on Charlie's hand.

"Have you tried to speak to them?" I asked.

"No, I haven't," she said.

"Then how would you know-"

"I haven't tried to speak to them because they told me to never speak to them. Do you think I don't want to speak to them? Do you think I don't miss them? I miss them every single day, Patrick," she said, crying.

"Sam, I know that a lot of bad things happened with you there, but I think you should go back. If they won't fix things, why don't you try?" Mary Elizabeth said. She was crying harder now, and Charlie looked at me, and started saying something. But I understood and nodded, and he pulled over. I got into the driver's seat and Charlie sat down next to Sam and hugged her close to his body, and Sam kept crying into his chest.

"Sam, I know this is hard for you. I understand, and I hate to see you relive all the bad memories. But, this trip could change things for you, and your parents." Mary Elizabeth said. It was quiet again. I was hating this conversation more and more.

"What do you think, Charlie?" Sam croaked after some time.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't want to do. But I think you should go. And I'll be with you, right? I'll be there, and everyone will be there. It'll be okay. I won't let anyone hurt you," Charlie said softly, as he caressed her cheek like she was the most fragile being on the planet. He was the only one who could calm her down. She stopped crying, and wiped the tears off her face.

"I just need some time to think. Please," she said.

"Of course, Sam." Alice said.

"Let's just forget about it, for now. I've come here to have a good time with my friends, and that's what I'm going to do," Mary Elizabeth said.

"Oh wow! Mary Elizabeth saying something positive! Charlie, you're already having an effect on her!" I joked, and everyone laughed. Even Sam cracked a smile. Charlie looked at me gratefully. I was happy that I could make them laugh, it gave me a feeling that people needed me. Sometimes it was very important to be reminded that people needed you, because sometimes people treated you like you were nothing. I didn't tell them, but the real reason of my trip was my argument with Connor. I was here on business purposes as well, but I just needed to get away from him. I loved him, I really did, but after I found him cheating on me with a girl, I couldn't take it anymore.

_Flashback_

_"Connor, are you questioning your sexuality? Because if you are, tell me. It'll make things so much easier if I know that it wasn't really your fault," I said, I was so tired. _

_"Patrick, I love you-" _

_"I love you, too Connor. But that doesn't change the fact that you were in bed with somebody else. Did you feel deprived?" _

_"No, no I didn't. I just...I-uh..." Connor stuttered._

_"So you really have no reason. You cheated on me, Connor! Do you realise how serious this is?"_

_"I do, Patrick. I'm sorry, please," Connor pleaded. _

_"You're sorry. How can I know you really mean it? And how can I believe that you won't do it again? Give me one good reason," I said quietly, I felt so broken. _

_"I love you, Patrick. That should be enough," he said. _

_"If you did really love me, you wouldn't have cheated. I thought I could trust you! It's not enough, Connor. I'm sorry, but "I love you" is not enough," I said. It surprised me how calm I was, but I was also very frustrated. I grabbed my coat and headed out. _

_"Where are you going?" Connor asked. _

_"Out." I said flatly._

_"Is this going to solve anything?" _

_"I just need some space," I said and went out. _

_End of flashback_

We had reached the hotel, and nobody mentioned the trip. We all laughed and joked, even Sam seemed to have forgotten about it, and was having a good time. Charlie had an arm around her all the time, and I was thankful that he was around to hold her together. My phone buzzed, the caller ID said Connor. I sighed and texted him to not call me as I was with my friends.

"Then when can we talk? When are you free? I'm sorry, Patrick. I really regret what I did. But it's only you, it was always only you, there's no one else I love more than I love you. Please, I'm sorry." He replied. I was starting to move on from what happened, but after I read his message, I couldn't be angry anymore. Because there wasn't anything left to be angry about. As long as he realised what he did was wrong, and felt sorry for it, and most importantly didn't do it again, I had nothing to worry about. I told the others to go on without me because I had a call to make, and called him.

"Hello?" His voice answered.

"I forgive you," I said.

"Wait, what?"

"I forgive you," I repeated.

"Patrick, I-uh...I promise..."

"Just promise me you won't do it again," I said.

He said happily, "I promise you, I will never do it again."

"If you do, it's over," I said flatly. There was no other way to say it.

"I won't ever break your trust, Patrick. I promise," he said somewhat desperately.

"Well, good. I'll call you later, Mary Elizabeth and Alice just told all of us to come to Pittsburgh."

"Oh, how did Sam take it?"

"She didn't take it well, she was crying and stuff. But Charlie calmed her down. He told her to consider going. She doesn't want to go, but she said she'll think about it," I told him sadly.

"That's good. She's really lucky to have such a good guy," he said.

"Yeah, she's really lucky to have her best friend be in love with her," I said.

We were quiet for some moments. After a while I said, "I'm going to stay for another month, or at least three more weeks after I'm done with work here. I'm going to talk to my boss tomorrow. That's okay, right?"

"Yeah of course. Sam would like you to be around for that trip," he said.

"You can come along if you want," I offered.

"I would love to, but you know that big promotion I've been working towards? It's really close, and I can't take any breaks," he said. I was quiet for some time, I still didn't trust him fully.

"I'm not going to do it again, if that's what you were thinking," he said when I didn't say anything.

"Okay. So, I have to go now...bye," I said.

"Okay, have fun. Bye. And Patrick, I love you," he said.

"I love you too. Bye," I said and cut the phone. I went to the restaurant and found the table they were seated. They were all laughing at something Charlie had said, because Sam was laughing and kissing his cheek, and Mary Elizabeth and Alice were saying things like, "Oh god...*laugh*...Charlie...*laugh*...stop!" And Charlie just sat there in his fancy clothes looking embarrassed and really red, and smiling sheepishly.

"What did Mr. Fancy Pants do now?" I said chuckling, the whole scene was quite funny to see. My comment just made them laugh harder, and Sam started saying things like, "Mr... Fancy Pants! Oh, god! My stomach hurts...stop it!"

I took a seat and said again, "I'm waiting... How about you tell me, Mr," everyone joined in, "FANCY PANTS?" And then I started laughing along with them. We got some weird stares from people around us, but we were having too much of a good time to care.

"So...what did...what did he...say?" I said, panting because of laughing so much.

"Nothing really. He just said he really wanted...A MILKSHAKE! Oh god, it nearly gave me a heart attack. A good one though," Sam said, calming down at first and then laughing again. It took me a minute to understand what was funny, but then I remembered the party at...after the football game and when he got stoned. I burst out laughing at the memory.

"Oh god, he was so cute and adorable!" Sam exclaimed. Mary Elizabeth and Alice nodded in agreement.

"So I'm not cute and adorable anymore?" Charlie asked her.

"No, you're sexy and dashing now, though you do have your cute and adorable moments," Sam replied as-a-matter-of-factly. We all wolf whistled, gaining more stares from people around us.

"Oh shut it. As if you've never seen a girl call her boyfriend sexy and dashing," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"We've never heard YOU call HIM sexy and dashing. So our reaction was understandable," I said, and we all laughed again, even Charlie joined in. We joked around and laughed and had breakfast. A couple of well dressed guys walked in and Charlie said, "Okay guys, that's my cue. I have to go now. I'll be back in an hour and a half, or as soon as I can."

"What makes you think we'll wait for you?" I asked him.

"I have the keys to the pickup truck. And the hotel doesn't provide cabs, and a bunch of other things. I'll try to finish as soon as I can," Charlie said, with a triumphant smirk on his face. He kissed Sam and got up and went away. We all yelled, "BYE MR. FANCY PANTS!" After him, he just turned and grinned and shook his head at us.

As soon he was out of earshot Mary Elizabeth and Alice bombarded Sam with questions about Charlie and how he was as a boyfriend.

"Do I want to be a part of this conversation?" I asked.

"Shut up, Patrick. I've been waiting for this day to come for a very long time. I always knew they'd end up together!" Alice squealed.

"He's...well, he's great. He's not clingy, and gives me space and freedom, and he listens when I want to tell him something...stuff like that..." She trailed off dreamily.

"Sam, I thought you weren't one of those hopelessly romantic people. I'm very disappointed in you," I scolded mockingly. Mary Elizabeth and Alice glared at me.

"And how is he...in the bedroom?" Mary Elizabeth asked and Sam blushed furiously.

"Okay. I do not want to be a part of this conversation!" I said and covered my ears.

"Patrick, shut up!" Mary Elizabeth said exasperatedly.

"He's amazing. I mean, he knows exactly what I want, he can be sweet and gentle and then he can be..." She trailed off dreamily again, blushing.

"You guys better be glad that Charlie's not here. He probably would've exploded if he heard you," I said, looking at the table where he was sitting. He had a serious "work" face on, and was talking to the other well dressed guys, and...wait...was he sketching? Probably something about a book cover.

Sam told them more about her life recently and how much she liked living with Charlie, and I occasionally made a funny remark about something. We kept talking and I didn't even realise that we'd been there for almost two hours. Charlie came back to our table and watched as the other well dressed guys walked out.

We all said together, "HELLO MR. FANCY PANTS!"

He sighed and said, "Is that what you're going to call me now?" He plopped down on his chair and started playing with Sam's hair. I noticed he does that a lot.

"Yes, we will call you that as long as you wear clothes like those," I said and smirked.

"You're going to be calling him that a lot. He wears clothes like these almost all the time," Sam said and sighed. Charlie whispered something in her ear, and she smiled.

"So, what do you want to do all day?" I asked. Then I realised something.

"Hey, Charlie," I said and frowned.

"Yeah?"

"I've never seen your house!" I said.

"Oh yeah, you haven't," he said thoughtfully.

"Well? Do you plan to change that?"

"Yes! Come over," he said excitedly.

"Now?" Mary Elizabeth and Alice said and grinned.

"Yes, now!" Sam said. We paid the bill and headed out. We stopped over at an alcohol store to grab beers and stuff. Charlie drove for another fifteen minutes and we arrived in front of a big building.

When we entered the place, I thought we were in somebody else's house.

"You know, I'd expected your house to be very boring. This is very surprising. No offence," I said. Everyone nodded in agreement. His house had a lot of white and blue colours, and a lot of books, and a lot of music, and a lot of other very cool things that would take too long to describe. I saw a typewriter on the coffee table and asked, "Hey, is that the typewriter Sam gave you?"

He grinned and said, "Yes. I wrote all my books on it." Sam kissed his cheek.

"I've heard about your books. You're really famous, you know...even abroad. Especially for that one... Perks Of Being A Gatemonkey or something," Mary Elizabeth said. Sam and Charlie burst out laughing. Mary Elizabeth just looked at them blankly.

"It's not Gatemonkey, Mary Elizabeth. It's Wallflower. The Perks of Being A Wallflower," Sam said.

"Whatever," Mary Elizabeth said.

"I've never read any of your books. Though they say they're very good. I think I'll try Perks first," Alice said, and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, even I want to see what all this fuss about you being the best coming of age writer in a while is. I mean, I have to check if you're any good or they just read your books because of your face," I said.

"What's wrong with my face?" Charlie asked and frowned, and touched his face.

"Well, let's just say girls find you very nice to look at," Alice said and I saw Sam look a little pissed, and I held back a chuckle. Charlie blushed.

We asked for copies of his book, and I saw Sam and Charlie have a silent discussion. Charlie nodded and went to a room which looked like his study. He got three copies of "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" and gave one to each of us. I read the summary at the back.

I was shocked. I was quiet for a long time. "You wrote a book about us?" I asked after some time, still very shocked.

"Yes, my freshman year. It's based on a bunch of letters I wrote to an anonymous pen pal that year," Charlie said.

"Did you ever look for that pen pal?" Alice asked.

"No," Charlie replied and gave a small smile.

"But why? You should go meet that person," Mary Elizabeth said.

"I don't think I have to. That person probably knows who I am now. I think I want to keep things the way they are," Charlie said. We shrugged and promised to read the book and tell him what we thought of it.

The afternoon passed fast. We had beer and wine and talked about our lives and everything. It was during this time I realised I missed them and all of this more than I admitted. I was happy that we were all together again, and I tried hard not to think about the things that could go wrong if the trip to Pittsburgh got screwed up, or what would happen if Sam decided to not go.

After having dinner we decided to go dancing. We drove around, trying to find a good place for half an hour before settling on a club. Dancing and drinks were all very fun, and soon we were all tipsy. We sobered up and I drove around town while Mary Elizabeth and Alice danced to the music next to me and Sam and Charlie sat in the bed of the pickup truck, with their arms around each other.

I glanced back at them and said to no one in particular, "It's funny how easy it is for them to be around each other."

"It's not funny at all. I think it just means they won't get bored with each other for the rest of their lives. It's kind of like the relationship you and Connor have," Alice replied and smiled.

After a very long time, hearing Connor's name didn't cause a stab of pain in my heart, it brought a smile to my face. And I thought, maybe things could be alright with us.

**AN: gah, I'm not good at writing Patrick. But there was angst, and we found out about Connor! So... I sincerely hope you liked this chapter, "Guest." **

**So, you know what's next... REVIEW!**

**Yours in demigodishness and all that,**

**PEACE OUT!**


	13. Chapter 12: Memories and Regrets

**AN: another chapter! Captain obvious here :p so... so many favourites and follows and reviews, I never thought my story would go so far, I love you all:')**

**The song for this chapter is... UFO BY COLDPLAY! **

**Enjoy and review! **

Sam's PoV:

After dropping everyone to their respective hotels, Charlie and I drove around a little before going home. I rested my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, and let the quiet keep things where they're supposed to be. Charlie grabbed my hand and I held it tightly.

"What am I going to do, Charlie?" I asked.

"You're going to do what you want to do, and what you think is right," he said and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"But I don't know what I want to do, and I don't know what is right," I said.

"Sam, you can take some time to think about it. Mary Elizabeth and Alice don't want you to answer tomorrow. You can take time to figure things out and decide what you want, that's okay," he said.

"You'll help me, right?" I asked. I half expected him to say, "no! You're on your own! Good luck!" I didn't know why I was thinking like that.

"Yes, I will. I promise," he said.

We drove in comfortable silence the rest of the way. Charlie parked the pickup truck and we walked to the apartment with our arms around each other.

After changing into my pyjamas, I went downstairs to the living room, I couldn't bring myself to sleep, even though I was tired. I sat down on the love seat and started thinking about home. I immediately had a flashback-

_It had been three days since since I had got the call from the New York office. I had told Patrick yesterday, he congratulated me and said he was very happy for me, but he also told me to tell our parents soon, because it would take them some getting used to the fact that I was planning to move away. I wished Charlie hadn't disappeared from the face of the earth, I could've asked him for advice, he could've surely told me a way to tell them without them freaking out on me. I decided to just call them to the living room and tell them there. _

_"Mom! Paul! Can you come to the living room please?" I called._

_"Coming!" I heard my parents call back. I walked to the living room and sat down on the sofa. I started squirming, I did that when I was nervous. _

_My parents walked in and we smiled at each other. _

_"Hi Mom, hi Paul," I said._

_"Hi sweetie," my parents said._

_"So...well... I-uh," I started stuttering. I should've rehearsed!_

_"What happened, Sam? Is everything alright?" My mom asked, looking slightly worried._

_"Yes mom. Everything's perfect," I said. _

_"Is there something you would like to tell us?" My stepdad said. _

_"Yeah. Well... I was looking around for a job, and I found one in New York... I applied...and, well, they called me for an interview... I got the phone call three days back. I want... I want to go," I said. They were quiet for a very long time, that didn't help my nerves. _

_"When is this interview?" My mom asked quietly. _

_"It's, um... It's a month and a half from now. I have to leave in two weeks," I murmured._

_"So will you go?" My stepdad asked coldly._

_"I want to, Paul. It's a great job. It's what I want to do, the pay is good, and there is nothing to do here," I said._

_My mom started, "Well, Sam, if that's what you want-" _

_"So, you applied for a job in New York, you got a phone call asking you to come for an interview three days ago, and you didn't even think of asking us? Or letting us know that you had such plans?" My dad said angrily. I was kind of shocked by his reaction, so I didn't say anything. _

_"Paul, dear, you're overreacting. It was only three days-" my mom said but he cut her off again. _

_"Overreacting? Young lady, as long as you live under my roof, you will consult us about every decision you make," he growled. _

_I felt myself getting angrier, and I said, "I am twenty two years old, Paul! I want to start a life on my own, what's wrong with that? Why are you getting so worked up? It's not like I ran away or anything!" _

_"You will not use that tone with me, Samantha!" He yelled. _

_"Why shouldn't I? I am not a baby anymore, Paul! I am an adult, and I am supposed to be allowed to make decisions about my own freaking life! I just don't understand why are you freaking out so much, I'm not moving cross country. You can take the car and visit me any damn time you want!" I yelled. _

_"Mind your language, Sam," my mom said sternly. _

_"Mom, what's wrong with me going to New York?" I asked a little helplessly. _

_"Sweetheart there is nothing wrong, Paul is just a little hurt that you didn't discuss it with us, which you should have," my mom said gently. _

_"I did discuss it with you guys, remember when I told you that I was looking for a job in New York that night at dinner?" I said. _

_"Well, you couldn't have possibly been serious about that," my stepdad chided. My mom glared at my stepdad and then looked at me apologetically. _

_That hurt, a lot. My own parents took me that lightly?_

_"That's how seriously you take me? Thanks a lot guys," I said, tears running down my face. My mom reached out to hug me but I pushed her away, and said, "I'll go early. I'm sorry I disturbed your life, I know I'm a sorry excuse for a daughter. You won't have to deal with me anymore." _

_I ran upstairs to my room and locked myself inside, ignoring my mom who was pleading me to come out, and trying to ignore my stepdad, who turned on the TV. _

_End of flashback_

I was hugging my knees and crying. I looked up to see an extremely worried looking Charlie, who quickly scooped me up in his arms and put me on his lap, and rocked me back and forth while I cried into his chest.

I managed to tell him about the fight I had with my parents, and I said, "I wrote you letters after it happened, to cope. I never posted them, because I didn't know where you were and...I didn't think you would want to read my sob stories. I wish you were there, I wish so bad. It would have hurt less."

He didn't say anything, but a couple of minutes later I felt his body shiver. I looked up to see tears streaming down his face, which was lowered.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I should have been there for you. I should have come back for more breaks. I'm sorry," he said.

"You're not going to leave me again, right?" I asked, looking him in the eyes.

"Never, unless our lives depend on it," he said staring back at me.

"That's enough, it has to be," I said, and wiped the tears off his face. He kissed me, but it was different than all our other kisses. It was like he was trying to tell me something he couldn't say with words. And somehow, I understood him perfectly.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, right there on the couch, without even realising it.

I woke up early the next morning, and my back hurt a lot from sleeping on the couch last night, and I was very tired. I looked at Charlie, who was still sleeping but he looked uncomfortable.

I shook him and said, "Charlie, wake up." Nothing.

I shook him a little harder, "Charlie, wake up. Come to the room and you can sleep in the bed." All I got was a grunt. This boy could sleep through a bomb when he wanted to.

I got up from his lap, and yelled, "CHARLIE!" He got so startled he fell off the couch, which made me burst out laughing.

He rubbed his head and mumbled, "Not funny, Sam."

I held out my hand and said, "Come on, lets go to the room. I plan to sleep in."

He smiled and took my hand, and we both sleepily stumbled to the bedroom, and collapsed on the bed.

Mary Elizabeth's PoV:

I was always under the impression that I was impossible to shock or surprise. Until now. I had woken up really early, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried calling Alice and Patrick, but they didn't answer, probably still sleeping. I didn't want to call Charlie and Sam, because they had a long day yesterday, and they deserved some rest. Especially Sam. I hated to put her through the turmoil that she was going through, but it had to be done. Her stepdad was hopeless, but her mom really did miss her and she regretted what happened. I went to visit them a couple of times during one of my visits, and she couldn't stop talking about Sam and all the good memories she had with her. She would talk about anything but the fight, like stories about Sam as a baby, her first recital, she even told me about her first report card. But after a while she would run out of things to keep herself numb, and she would start crying hysterically and say that it was all her fault, and she was a terrible mother, and that she didn't deserve a daughter like Sam. I had always tried my best to keep her updated about Sam's life without her knowing about it, but there were certain things I would miss. Like I didn't know when she got that asshole of a boyfriend, Dean. I decided to call Mrs. Jameson and tell her about the major developments in Sam's love life.

It rang a few times before a familiar voice answered, "Hello?"

I said, "Mrs. Jameson? Hi, it's Mary Elizabeth."

"Oh! How are you dear? It's been so long since I talked to you, you sound so different!" She said happily. She always tried to be happy, but there was always a sort of hopelessness in her voice, like she had given up.

"Yeah, it's been very long. So, I wanted to tell you that I am in New York right now, I arrived yesterday," I said.

"Oh...did you...did you see Sam?" She asked desperately. I could understand, she was so close to her daughter, but still so far away. It was really depressing.

"Yeah, I did. Patrick's also here," I said. I would break all the news to her very slowly. I didn't want her to die of shock.

"Oh my god! How are they? They're happy, right? They both have someone, right?" She almost begged me to tell her.

"Yes, they're both happy. Patrick has been here for two weeks or something, he's here for work. Patrick's still with Connor, who's still back in Frisco, and Sam..." I trailed off.

"What happened? Is she okay?" She asked. I felt so sad when I had to talk to her, she was so broken, she didn't deserve this.

"Well, do you remember that friend we had in senior year, Charlie?" I asked.

She was quiet for a few moments, as if trying to remember, and said, "The boy who went to Canada and never came back?"

"Yes," I said.

"I remember him. He was such a sweet boy. He always loved Sam, I could tell the first time I met him. Sam would talk about him all the time, and so endearingly. I would always ask her if she had any romantic feelings for him, she always said that she didn't think about him that way, but I knew that she had a soft spot for him. She just didn't want to admit it, because he was younger. Oh dear, I'm so sorry... I got carried away again. So, what about him?" She said. I felt like crying, no woman should be sentenced to a punishment like hers.

"Well... Sam found him, in New York...and they got together," I said.

"Did I hear that right? Sam found him in New York and they got together?" She asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, you heard me. It happened a couple of months ago, I'm not sure when exactly. You see, Sam was at this cafe, and Charlie was also there...they didn't see each other at first, but then Sam fell and broke her foot and Charlie helped her and stuff. They're like, living together, because she was in a bad relationship and some things went wrong, so Charlie didn't want her to be alone. So, they were like, in that awkward place where they both had feelings for each other but they were just too chicken to admit it. And then finally they kissed or something and they got together," I finished.

"She broke her foot? How is she now? Can she walk? Is she happy? Is Charlie taking care of her?" She asked all these questions in rapid fire mode, and all in one breath.

"That was a while ago, Mrs. Jameson. She's perfectly fine now. Charlie was there with her through all of it, he was the one who took care of her when she was stuck in bed. They're very happy together, Patrick's been here for longer you see, so he told me that they're working out great. And I asked Sam if she was happy, she said she was. And she wasn't lying," I said.

I heard her sigh and she said, "Oh, that's...that's good. Are you planning to come to Pittsburgh?" I saw where she was going with this.

"Yeah, I'm coming like three or four weeks from now. Alice is coming too," I said.

"Oh, that's-that's great! Well...do you think, maybe...Sam and Patrick..." She trailed off.

"We talked to her yesterday, Mrs. Jameson. She said she would think about it. Patrick will come I think, he is waiting for Sam to decide" I said.

"Oh, well...thank you dear. I should... I should go now, lots of work to do. Bye," she said and hung up.

After a couple of minutes of feeling sad for Sam's mom, I again had nothing to do. I saw my copy of Charlie's book, and figured I could start reading it, just to have something to do.

*a couple of hours later*

I was, well...shocked. Firstly and mainly because I didn't know Charlie was going through all that and secondly because the book was amazing, and the things he wrote like that thing, "even though we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where to go from there," and I didn't know the reason for his breakdown. I think that's what shocked me the most, because things like that are powerful enough to destroy people, but he chose not to hate his Aunt and move on. Mostly I was appreciative, because he appreciated life and he knew how to live moments like the one in the tunnel and make the most of them. I wasn't surprised that he was known as the best coming of age writer in a while. That little asshole.

Alice's PoV:

My curiosity had gotten the better of me today morning, so I put my phone on silent mode and started reading The Perks Of Being a Wallflower. It was now twelve o'clock and I had already read the book twice just to try and process it. Charlie had now earned my permanent respect by sharing his experiences and his highs and so many lows with the world. It made me aware of so many terrible things that happened in this world, and to imagine that Charlie went through so many of those things first hand, it was kind of nerve wracking. I checked my phone and saw fifteen missed calls from Mary Elizabeth. I laughed and called her.

"YOU ARE ALIVE!" Mary Elizabeth yelled as soon as she answered the phone.

"I'm good, Mary Elizabeth. How about you?" I asked.

"Oh I'm good. I just finished reading Charlie's book. It's quite something," she stated.

"Oh my god, right? I read it twice just to try and process what I read," I said.

"Yeah, and the breakdown...I'm really proud of him," she said sincerely. I knew she meant it, because you didn't see her talk like that about anyone everyday.

"Yeah. It was really brave of him to share this with the audience, even if they don't know it happened for real." I said. I felt my phone vibrate and it was Patrick.

"Hey Patrick's calling. I'll put him on conference," I said and answered the phone.

"Hey Alice," he said.

"Hey Patrick. You're on conference right now, I was just talking to Mary Elizabeth," I said.

"Oh, hi!" He said. He sounded a little dazed, and I think I knew why.

"You read the book, didn't you?" I asked.

"How did you know that?" He asked, sounding shocked.

"We read it too, and that's how we sounded too." Mary Elizabeth replied.

"Why didn't he tell us?" Patrick asked.

"There are some things you can't just tell people, Patrick. Judging by his social status and everything, he probably had no choice but to figure t out on his own. I mean, admit it. Even we would have looked at him weird if he told us back then. Or maybe he was trying to figure out what he was feeling and why. He didn't even know about his...you know... Aunt till he and Sam...you know, almost-sort-of-kind-of-nearly did it," I finished awkwardly.

"If you say so, Dalai Lama," Patrick said sarcastically.

"Shut up," I said.

"Should we call Charlie and Sam? To see how they're doing and stuff?" Mary Elizabeth asked.

"Let's just leave them alone today. Sam has a lot to think about, lets leave it to Charlie to help her like he always has," Patrick said.

"I just hope this goes the way we planned it. If it doesn't, we have a problem at our hands," I said nervously and I heard them both sigh, which didn't really make me feel better.

**AN: sorry I took forever to upload this chapter, it wasn't easy to write.**

**DEAR KATE,**

**I'm not ending this story anytime soon :p**

**So, you know what's next... REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 13: Decisions and Phone Calls

**AN: hello folks! I am sorry I've been gone for so long, but as you know (hopefully you do. Nobody reviewed) I finally updated the second part of the two-shot in my one shot series, so please check that out! **

**I have noticed that I've started writing very long chapters for all my stories, the second part of the two shot was almost 4,000 words long. So I was wondering if that bothers anyone, so please review or PM or whatever and let me know! **

**Back to the story: I am not sure how long I plan to make this chapter, but it is an important one. It will be the foundation of whatever happens next in this story till the very end.**

**Okay then. You know, I really don't think anyone reads author's notes. But you should, because they are important. And to people who do, thank you and here's a virtual blue cookie (::) **

**Be prepared for suffocating fluff. Like cotton candy fluff. So much fluff. **

**SONG TIME! THE SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER IS... HO HEY BY THE LUMINEERS!**

**Enjoy and review, folks!**

Sam's PoV:

A couple of hours after Charlie and I fell asleep, I woke up. Charlie was still sleeping and I let him, and started thinking about the choice I had to make. To be very honest, I was completely and utterly lost. I had no idea of what I was going to do. After blankly staring at the ceiling for a very long time, I decided to think of all the possible outcomes. If I decided to go, my parents could possibly fall to my feet begging for forgiveness, or they could possibly ask me to go away and never come back again. My stepdad was very capable of doing something like that, but I wasn't so sure about my mom. After all, Paul did start the fight, and we did all the fighting. My mom just stood there helplessly and watched us yell at each other. I had never given my mom much thought, most of the time I was too angry to even try and picture home. As I came to realise how ignorant I'd been, especially towards mom, guilt overwhelmed me, and tears started streaming down my face. I couldn't let my emotions get in the way. I wiped my tears away and calmed myself down. As I went back to my thinking, I found myself back at where I'd started, and I held back my frustrated grunt. Since I wasn't really getting anywhere with this stupid decision I had to make, I went back to watching the ceiling, but then I couldn't stand watching the ceiling, so I decided to sneak a glance at Charlie. I didn't want to watch him sleep, no way. That's creepy. I just wanted to make sure that he was there, and he hadn't gone away like he did before. Sure he was there, he looked peaceful, and he had this small smile on his face.

I had subconsciously blamed him for leaving like that and not speaking to us again. I used to think, how could he just go away like that and never come back? Or even bother to talk to me? But now I understood. After all this time I spent with him, and all those other more intimate times with him that made my heart race a million miles an hour, I understood that things changed. And he had to go. I think what hurt me the most was the fact that I wasn't one of the most important people in his life anymore, but if I asked him about it I'm sure he would say that I was always one of the most important people in his life and that he never stopped loving me. But even though it hurt sometimes that he had missed so much, I excepted that he made a life there for himself, and he had the right to live it. Maybe it was that I had this...assumption in my head that he would always be there. Charlie would always be that sweet, innocent and shy boy, and he would always be there waiting for me to waltz in and out of his life again and again as I used him as a support system to get through college. I had forgotten that he had a life to live. Maybe that's why it was important for him to leave, so I would come to realise how much more he was to me than just a support system and someone who would listen and give a shoulder and arms to cry on. He was so much more than that. He was the only one I loved, the only one I have loved consistently throughout all these years. I loved him through all the Craig's and Dean's and all the others. He was one part of my life that was always there, and it didn't fall apart, even if I didn't see him or talk to him for years.

I took a moment to look at him and feel happy because he was back, and we were together that way, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It wasn't long before his eyes fluttered open and he yawned.

He smiled sleepily and with his voice heavy with sleep he asked, "How long have you been up?"

"Not very long," I lied. I could tell that he saw right through it, but decided to say nothing.

"What time is it?" He asked, already craning his neck back to see the clock, but I still leaned over him too.

"10:45," we both said together, with a tone of surprise. I hadn't slept that long in a very long time.

"I guess we should get dressed. I'm starving," I said and he nodded. We got ready and fetched some breakfast. Charlie tried to make conversation with me, but I kept zoning out, which made him sigh a lot. This went on for a while, and finally he said quietly, "You can just tell me what you're thinking and I can stop my hopeless attempts to get you to talk to me."

I gave out a weak laugh and said, "I'm just thinking about home, Charlie. I'm thinking about some things I missed. Don't worry."

"Sam, I promised that I would help you figure it out. You being all secretive and mysterious doesn't help my cause. Please, you have to tell me what's on your mind."

"I just...I feel... I think I got mad at my mom for no reason. I don't know." I rushed out my words.

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, when that...argument thing happened, my stepdad and I did most of the yelling. And if I remember correctly, she said she was okay with me coming to New York when Paul cut her off and started screaming his head off. So I think..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Charlie was quiet for some time. I could practically see the gears in his head turning, he had his "thinking hard" face on, the one where he scowled softly and kept staring at one spot.

He said two words, and those two words catching me off guard would be an understatement. "Call her."

"What did you say?"

"I said call her. Call your mom and talk to her. If you think you lost your temper at her for no reason, call her and talk to her."

"I can't just...I can't just call her!" I cried.

"Why not?" He argued. Damn him.

"Well, you see...it's just that...you know..." I struggled to find a good reason. I knew then that I had lost this argument to him.

"Exactly. So call her, Sam. You have nothing to lose here."

I knew he knew that I had her number saved in my phone, so I couldn't say I didn't have her number. I never really had a reason for saving her number, I just had to.

I gave him a sharp glare and trudged back to the living room, where my phone was. I heard him sigh loudly and he followed me.

After staring angrily at the phone for ten minutes, I went to my contacts and stared at my mom's contact for another ten minutes.

"Sam?" Charlie said pointedly.

"I'm calling, just one minute." He turned me around and kissed me, and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Okay. I can do it. Yeah, I can do it." I was assuring myself more than I was assuring Charlie, and I think he sensed that, because he started rubbing my back soothingly.

I reluctantly pressed the call button, and waited for her to answer, nervously glancing at Charlie.

A few rings later, a seemingly older and more tired sounding woman than my mom answered, "Hello?"

"Mom?"

I heard a loud gasp, and then silence. Just when I thought I had lost the line she said, "Sam?"

"Yeah...it's me. Hi, mom." I heard some quiet sobs, and I felt myself tearing up too.

"Oh my god...how are you, honey?"

"I'm fine mom. I'm fine. How-how are you?"

"I'm okay. Yes, I'm okay. I missed you so much, Sam. I'm so sorry," she was crying full on now.

"Mom...mom, don't cry. It doesn't really convince me that you're okay." I said, not very warmly, but she didn't seem to notice that.

"Don't worry about me, Sam. How have you been, sweetheart?"

"I've been good, mom. Really. Do you-do you remember that boy I used to tell you about, Charlie?" I said, looking at him. He smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Yes, you met him in New York after you broke your foot, and then you both got together," she said, startling me. How did she know about that? "How do you know?"

"Mary Elizabeth told me about it. She has been nice enough to fill me in on your life for quite some time." I need to have a talk with her.

"Okay," I said, followed by suffocating awkwardness.

"So, she said...she said that you all were planning to come to Pittsburgh..." Somehow, in that moment, I knew what I had to do. I didn't think the decision would be that easy, but it was.

"Yes. We all are coming. We're coming to Pittsburgh," I said, and I felt Charlie's surprised gaze on me. I looked at him and he nodded, smiling.

"Oh my god! Oh Sam, thank you, thank you so much!" She exclaimed.

I didn't know what to say, so I just awkwardly mumbled, "Uh, yeah. So, well, I have to go. I'll see you later, mom. Um bye." I didn't even give her a chance to speak, I just cut the phone.

I never knew a phone call could make me as tired as this one did. I slumped back on the couch against Charlie, who kissed my forehead and said, "So we're going to Pittsburgh?" I leaned up and kissed him.

"We're going to Pittsburgh."

**AN: there you go. So yeah. Not very happy with it, but it gives out the message. See ya'll in the next chapter!**

**You know what's next, REVIEW!**


	15. Chapter 14: The Announcement

**AN: hey guys! OMG OMG OMG 72 reviews and them follows and favourites! Thank you sooooo much guys, I can't believe my story went so far. I couldn't have done this without your support. So I vow to try make my chapters as good as I possibly can. I still can't believe it. WOW. **

**All chapters after the last one are extremely important, because something life changing is about to happen, okay? I won't say no more, my lips are sealed. **

**I updated my new story Love Again so please check that out! **

**Bleh. **

**SONG TIME: the song for this chapter is... AIN'T IT FUN BY PARAMORE! I love Paramore. **

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

"What?" Said all my friends together when I told them my decision.

"Are you guys hard of hearing? I said I'll go to Pittsburgh with you, okay?" I said, slightly frustrated. About what, I wasn't sure.

"Well..." Patrick started.

"Oh...well..." Alice started.

"Wow...um...well..." Mary Elizabeth started.

"That's great! Thank you, Sam! You won't regret this. So, the plan is that we leave in two weeks," Alice said excitedly.

"I thought you were going to spend a month here. Why are we going early?" I asked.

"I was thinking that we could spend one last week together here before Mary Elizabeth and I have to go back. So we could get done with this and be free," she said.

"Okay," I mumbled.

After discussing some more about it, we decided to just hang out and not think about it too much. We talked and laughed and drank till evening, when it was time for them to go. I shut the door behind them and slumped down on the couch against Charlie.

"I think they thought you were going to say no, Sam. Maybe that's why they're so...baffled," Charlie said while nuzzling his nose in my hair. I snickered and kissed his cheek. I took my lips down to his and kissed him and said, "I think you're right. I could practically hear the back-up plans they were making while waiting for me to say no." He laughed quietly and shook his head.

"Maybe we can think of this trip as a vacation. We'll relax at the pool and take walks around town, and we'll go visit school, and we'll go to that record store downtown. And we'll go through the tunnel every night. There's a lot we can do in Pittsburgh," he said, looking at me with those sincere eyes that I'd come to realise I couldn't live without.

"That sounds nice. Though I'd like to go for a proper vacation after we're through with this. Like to Vegas or something. And I want to go alone with you. Just the two of us," I said, looking back at him and fantasising about our soon to come vacation. I almost looked forward to Pittsburgh because of it. Almost.

"Vegas is too noisy. How about the Bahamas?" He said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, beaches..." I trailed off dreamily.

"Done. We'll leave as soon as Patrick, Mary Elizabeth and Alice go back, okay?"

"Yeah," I said.

"I'm not going to book anything right now. We'll start looking at hotels in our last week with everyone," he said.

"No, two weeks earlier. I want to go as soon as they leave. Maybe we can go to the airport with them. That soon," I said excitedly. He laughed loudly and gave me a sloppy kiss, which I'm guessing was my reward for being childish.

"Okay, if that's what you want," he said, smiling widely.

He didn't stop smiling, and he didn't stop looking at me.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked. His smile grew even wider, which I honestly didn't think was possible, and he said, "Nothing. It's a good day, I feel like smiling. That's it." A few seconds later, I tackled him down on the couch so he was laying flat on his back and I was straddling his hips.

He laughed softly and said, "What are you doing, Sam?"

I smirked mischievously and said, "I want in on the joke. What are you smiling at?"

"I'm smiling at our position right now. It's extremely comfortable," he said.

I smirked and pressed myself on his guy parts. It almost killed me, but I hid my reaction and focused on Charlie, who groaned loudly and closed his eyes. I kissed his earlobe and whispered, "You don't look so comfortable now, do you?" I purposely shifted again, so that I brushed against him. He grabbed hold of my hips and held them tightly to keep me from moving them. "Sam, please stop. I'm going to die." Seeing him crumble at my touch made me feel very good, because I had that much control over him. It was fun torturing him, so I raked my hands over his torso at an agonisingly slow speed, and then dropped my fingers to his lower...way lower...abdomen, making him groan again. I reached his guy part again, and softly brushed my fingers over it. I had seriously underestimated his reaction this time, and was rather (pleasantly) surprised when he growled and flipped us over so he was on top, and slammed his lips into mine, kissing me hungrily. After kissing for what seemed like hours, but were only minutes, his target moved to my neck and I giggled. I pulled him up for another kiss by his shirt and started fumbling with its buttons, undoing every button at a snail's pace. I was going that slow just to tease him. Frankly, if I had my way, I would've ripped his clothes off a lot earlier than this.

As soon as I undid the last button on his shirt and started to pull it off, the doorbell rang and I heard a voice say, "Can I interrupt your make out session to grab my phone and wallet please?" Patrick. We quickly fixed our clothes and hair, and Charlie opened the door.

"What were you guys up to? I've never heard Sam giggle that loudly. I'm not even sure if I've heard her giggle at all," he said as he came in.

"Nothing," I said.

He gave us a sideways glance and said, "Sure. Nothing."

"What? We were tickling each other," I defended. He snickered and went out the door, but not before telling us to "have fun." I didn't need a second to figure out the double meaning in his words. As soon as the door clicked shut we grinned and kissed each other. I worked his shirt off again (more quickly this time), and pulled him along to the bedroom.

Let's just say that we didn't get out of there for the rest of the evening.

*the night before the flight to Pittsburgh*

To cover up how nervous I was about tomorrow and the days to come after that, I ran around checking and re checking our bags, and fussed with things that didn't need to be fussed with. This had been going out for almost an hour now, and I was running out of things to fuss about. So I decided to watch some television, but I just ended up channel surfing at a very rapid pace. After doing that for half an hour, I decided to take a nap before Charlie came home from his meeting. He had gone to tell his publishers and his management team that he was taking a break, not a super long hiatus, but just a four month break. He told me that he wanted to take a long vacation with me, because he felt that we both had been overworking, and that he had already talked to my boss, who had very generously given me the break that I "deserved." Though I felt that she gave me that break for entirely different reasons, and suddenly I felt murderous.

I closed my eyes trying to get some sleep, but all I got were memories flooding in from many years ago.

Flashback

Almost jumping in my seat with excitement, I was driving home for my summer break (AN: colleges have those, right?). I was excited to see everyone again, my parents, Patrick, Mary Elizabeth, Alice, Bob, but the real reason I was almost jumping in my seat was Charlie. In his last and most recent letter he said he had something big that he needed to tell me, something he hadn't even told his parents about. I was secretly hoping he would ask me out, not that I would ever say it out loud, but I doubted that's what he wanted to tell me.

After I reached home and got smothered by my parents, I hurried back to my pickup truck and drove over to Charlie's place.

I reached his house in fifteen minutes and rung the doorbell, bouncing on my heels with anticipation. Mrs. Kelmeckis opened the door and beamed at me, saying, "Oh, Sam! How are you, dear?"

"Hi Mrs. Kelmeckis. I'm good, thanks. How are you?"

"I'm absolutely fine. Why don't you come in?" She said and ushered me in.

"Is Charlie home?" I asked after she insisted that I have some water.

"Yes, he's in his room. It's up the stairs to the left. Oh, you know where to go," she said and showed me the stairs. I said thanks and walked towards the faint music I could hear. It was Blackbird by the Beatles. The memories we shared with that song all came back to me, which made me smile.

I didn't have to knock his door, because he told me not to and we came over to each other's houses all the time, so this was like a second home to me. I turned the doorknob softly so I could surprise him, and quietly crept in the room.

Charlie had grown in height, he was almost half a head taller than me. He looked less gangly, and more filled out. He had his back toward me, as he was looking out the window. He looked like he was holding something, and he was glancing down at it time to time. I was surprised he hadn't noticed me or seen my truck, he couldn't have been that lost in thought.

I tiptoed to where he was standing and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He jumped and turned around, and looked at me as if I wasn't really there. His mouth opened, but he didn't say anything, so I figured I should, "Hey Charlie."

I saw his face morph into a grin and that's when he pulled me to him in a bear hug. I wasn't sure how long we stood there in each other's arms, but it felt warm and familiar, like I was home. He pulled away without moving his hands and said, "Hi, Sam. Let's get out of here, I need to tell you something." I didn't get a chance to see what he was holding, because he stuffed it up in his pocket and grabbed my hand. We came downstairs hand in hand and Charlie told his mom that we were going out and he'd be back by dinner time. I saw her glance at our entwined hands questioningly, but she didn't say anything about it, and told us to catch up and have fun.

I walked towards my pickup truck assuming that we would drive, but Charlie stopped me and said, "Can we walk?"

"Of course. Can we go and drop the truck at my place first?"

"Sure."

I waited for him to tell me whatever he wanted to say.

"So...what did you want to tell me, Charlie?" I asked.

"It's something important. Don't worry, I'll tell you after we drop the truck. How have you been, Sam?"

"Well...okay. I've been good, I'd been studying a lot for my finals, but they went good. I'm not a straight A student like you, but I did okay," I said.

I remembered something, and asked, "Have you started applying to colleges yet?"

He started grinning again and said, "I have. I got my SAT results a couple of weeks back, and I started applying. That's what I wanted to tell you about." I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I was extremely happy, because there could be a chance that he got into a college close to mine, or it could mean that he was going farther away.

We dropped the truck at my place and walked to the park, catching up on the way. I told him stories about college and he told me about his last day of high school ever.

"It was a funny feeling, coming to terms with the fact that I was never going to study there again. It wasn't very interesting, though. Everyone acted funny, and threw their papers on the floor, it was sort of annoying. After congratulating a couple of my friends, I went to the place where we saw the sunset on your last day of high school, and I spent some time there thinking about you, all of you. And I thought about the good times we had in this building, and I felt happy that the person who decided to make this building made it," he said. I stopped him and hugged him tightly. I had no reason to hug him, but I just couldn't help it when he said things like that. I pulled back and we started walking again, and somewhere along that time our hands slipped into each other. It was in a friend way, but it still felt nice.

"Do you have a date for prom?" I asked after a while.

He rubbed the back of his neck like he did when he was nervous, and said, "I don't. I wasn't actually planning on going."

"I knew it. You're exactly the kind of person who would skip prom and stay in his room writing poems and listening to Asleep, aren't you?"

"Well, I am...but who would go with me? I mean, I'm not even good looking or anything," he said, and his cheeks coloured up.

"Charlie, you're so hopeless. Sure, any girl would go with you! You can't just sit there and make assumptions like that! And anyway, I think you look just fine," I said, and my cheeks coloured up too when I realised what I said at the end.

"Sam, I am not making assumptions. Girls don't even talk to me," he said.

"I don't know. But you shouldn't skip prom! You don't get a prom twice, Charlie," I said.

He looked thoughtful, and said, "But you do. Will you go with me?"

My eyes widened in surprise. "You want me to go to prom with you?"

"If you don't want to...I mean...I'll understand-"

"No! Yes. I mean I'll go with you," I said and smiled.

"Thanks, Sam."

We reached the park, and Charlie got this goofy smile on his face, and he dragged me along to a tree in the corner, where there was privacy. We sat down under it and Charlie handed me an envelope. It was from "The Humber School For Writers." It was an acceptance letter.

I looked at him and he said, "It's one of the best schools for creative writing. I got a full academic scholarship and everything."

"That's great! Congratulations, Charlie!" I said. I was genuinely very happy for him.

"Thank you, Sam. I'm not sure what my parents will say about it, that's why I wanted to talk to you first. I'm glad you're happy about it," he said. I was confused, why wouldn't his parents be happy about it?

"What are you talking about? It's a great school, why would your parents mind?"

"Well...this college is in... It's in Canada," he said. I felt like my heart was sinking down in my stomach, I read the envelope again and I saw the address.

"You're going to Canada?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I am. I have to go next month."

"Oh...I didn't...I didn't know. I'm happy for you, Charlie. This is great," I said, putting a smile on my face.

His smile fell from his face and he looked sadder, and said, "I probably won't be able to come back for many breaks. Their schedule is different (AN: not sure about this part, but just go with it), so you'll be in college whenever I come back. But we can...we can write letters back and forth, right?" I got a little teary eyed at his words.

"Of course we can. I'm not going to let you out of my sight that easily," I said and he laughed a very sad kind of laugh. All of a sudden, I felt my body get scooped by a pair of familiar but surprisingly strong arms. I buried my head in his neck, and wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders.

"I'll miss you, Charlie," I whispered in his ear.

"I'll miss you too, Sam," he whispered back.

Without thinking, I pulled back and kissed him. It slow, and soft, and still, and beautiful, even if now we really couldn't be together that way. He was there in my arms, kissing me back with as much love as I was kissing him. And in that moment that's all that really mattered. Little did I know that this would be one of our last kisses in a very long time.

End of flashback

I jerked awake from the dream/memory I saw in my sleep when I felt a hand shake my arm. My eyes fluttered open to Charlie's smiling face, and he said, "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. I was watching TV and I fell asleep," I said, sitting up to make room for him. He sat down beside me and said, "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah. I'm nervous."

"Me too," he said.

"We'll be okay," he said after a while.

"Yeah. We'll be okay."

AN: it's getting closerrrrr! The big life changing thing is not far off, you have no idea how close it is. Hahhahha I'm evil.

You know what's next...REVIEW!


	16. Chapter 15: Pittsburgh

**AN: new chapter! So this is a filler chapter...but it's still important, because it leads to the events of the next chapter. **

**SONG TIME: the song for this chapter is... LOVEBUG BY THE JONAS BROTHERS! The sound of the song is perfect for this chapter :D I love the Jonas Brothers**

******I have a little rant at the end of this chapter, so if you read it, that'll be nice. You don't have to, though. I just need to get it out of** **my system. **

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

Charlie and I met Mary Elizabeth and Alice at the airport, and Patrick joined in soon after. There was a strange kind of silence between us in that loud airport, it radiated my nervousness, and their excitement and anticipation. Nobody spoke a word as we checked our bags in and got our boarding passes, and as we went through the security check, only Mary Elizabeth said, "I'm going to go grab a chocolate bar. Anyone want anything?"

"I'll have a bottle of water," Charlie said. She nodded and walked off towards the store. We all sat down waiting for Mary Elizabeth to come back and for the boarding call. Charlie kept whispering comforting nothing's in my ear, like how it was going to be alright and how we were going to be fine. He also said endless things about our upcoming vacation to the Bahamas, that how this was all going to be worth it, and how much 'alone time' we were going to get with each other. But more than anything else, he told me he loved me and he'd be there whenever I needed him. And that helped more than anything else he'd told me. Of course the occasional display of affection, a kiss on the cheek here, or a reassuring squeeze of my hand there, things like these made my head dizzy in the unhealthy-for-sanity and crazy-in-love way. I looked around at my group of friends to see what they were doing to kill time, just to have something to do. Charlie was playing with my hair and playing games on his phone, Patrick was blaring Nirvana out of his earphones for the world to hear, Alice was reading an Anne Rice book, I guessed she still hadn't gotten over that, and Mary Elizabeth was walking to us with a half eaten chocolate bar and a bottle of water. She threw the bottle at Charlie, successfully hitting him in the face, and went back to happily eating her chocolate. Charlie scowled at her and rubbed his nose, and I kissed it wanting to make him feel better. I guess I did because he smiled and pecked my cheek. He chugged down the bottle and caught me staring wide eyed at him. "What?"

"Thirsty much?" I teased.

"Maybe..."

"You know you should probably go use the restroom and...relieve yourself. You won't be seeing a bathroom for a while," I advised and smirked.

"I'll go on the plane, if I have to...which I won't," he said.

"Charlie, you just swallowed a water bottle. Go easy on your bladder, you'll explode if you don't go now."

"But I don't have to-wait... I have to...bye," he said and ran off in the direction of the nearest restroom and I laughed. I saw Mary Elizabeth and Patrick staring at me with a "are you fucking kidding me" look. Alice was too engrossed in her book to notice our exchange.

"What?"

"What are you, his mom?" Mary Elizabeth said.

"Oh shut up. I just don't want him to pee in his pants. Is that too much to ask?" I asked...maybe a little too dramatically.

"Okay! Wow, relax Mrs. Overly Dramatic," Patrick said and went back to his phone. I chuckled and rummaged through my bag for my phone, again, just to have something to do. I checked my email, only spams, I played games, which only drained my phone battery, and eventually, Charlie came back looking relieved and content. I chuckled again, and yelped in surprise as the boarding call for our flight was announced.

"I swear, these things will be the death of me someday," I said, cursing the annoyingly loud announcements as I got up and grabbed my bag and Charlie's hand. We showed our passes to the flight attending chick and boarded the plane, my nervousness escalating with every step.

After the whole "put your seat belt on and here are the oxygen masks" demonstration, the flight took off to reach new heights, so did my nerves. I felt Charlie gently pry my fingers off. When I looked down to see why, I saw his red fingers. I had squeezed his hand to death. "Oh Charlie, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. Are you afraid of flying or are you just that nervous about going home?" He asked, grabbing hold of my hand again.

It would do no good lying to him, so I said, "No, I'm just that nervous. Now go easy on me, okay? I haven't gone home in seven years now."

"I understand. I'm very nervous too, you know," he said, lowering his voice.

"Why?"

"Because I haven't gone home in a while too. Almost two and a half years, I think. I mean, I talk to mom on the phone all the time, but I haven't actually gone to visit. So I'm hoping to make up for it by surprising her, I haven't told her yet," he said.

"Okay." I had an idea to delay my visit, and I said, "Hey, since your home front needs so much more attention than mine, how about we go visit your place first?"

"Sam, my home front is fine."

"Well...I'm sure your mom doesn't know about us, does she? She has the right to know, Charlie. What if we...what if you end up proposing to me and I say yes, and we elope in Vegas or something? This is a serious issue, Charlie," I said in grave tone. Though I knew my efforts would give me nothing but the "childish coward of the year" award.

"So you're saying you would want to get married?" Charlie asked, smirking.

"Is that all you caught in whatever I said?"

"No. There was something about me proposing, you saying yes, and us eloping in Vegas. But shouldn't somebody be against us getting married for us to 'elope?'" He said, making the inverted commas with his fingers.

"Yes! What if your mom is?" I said and he started smirking again. I realised what I said, and put my face in my hands, which was beet red.

"... I shouldn't have said that."

"So you really want to get married, don't you?" Charlie said, never wiping the smirk off his face.

"Charlie, I think it would be best if you wipe that smirk off your face. Or I might have to wipe it off for you." He put his hands up in surrender and said, "You're the one who brought the whole marriage thing up! So you don't want to get married?" I wanted to punch him for asking questions like that. How was I supposed to reply to that?

"I brought it up so that you would say yes to going to your place first. And that's not what I said. I mean...sure, it'd be nice, the whole marriage thing. But not now," I said, hoping and praying he wouldn't twist my words up and ask me some other trick question.

"Could guys keep your wedding plans down? I'm trying to sleep here," Mary Elizabeth grumbled.

"We're not planning any wedding!" I exclaimed.

"I don't care. Shut up."

"Gee. What a great friend," I mumbled.

"I heard that," Mary Elizabeth said and started snoring the next second.

"How did she-she was just...did you see that?" I asked, slightly horrified. How could anyone fall asleep that fast?

"I have no idea. None," Charlie said.

"I think I'll take a nap, since I have nothing to do and I really don't want to argue with you. Wake me up, okay?" I said and closed my eyes. I was already drifting off when I heard a familiar voice say, "I'll wake you up." And then the same voice said something else, I'm not sure if it was for real or a dream.

"I love you."

* * *

I was woken up from my dreamless sleep by Charlie's hand, shaking my arm gently. "Sam, wake up, we're about to land." My eyes fluttered open and I gave him a sleepy smile. He kissed my temple and straightened his seat up, and I copied him. "Can we...can we maybe take it easy today? Like not go meet anyone? I'd like to prepare myself for tomorrow, since I'm going to have to go whether or not I want to," I said.

"Of course, Sam. We'll stay in the hotel."

"Hotel room...please?" I said, I even did my puppy dog eyes thing, I knew he couldn't say no to it.

"Fine," he said and sighed.

Fifteen minutes later, the plane landed and we got out.

(AN: I could've ended it here but I'm a nice person, you're welcome!)

After staying away for so many years, the place seemed almost alien. I suddenly started feeling out of place, like I didn't belong here, or I shouldn't be here. I think my discomfort showed on my face, because Charlie wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "It's okay. Don't worry." Mary Elizabeth, Alice and Patrick also smiled reassuringly. That made me feel slightly better, but I was still nothing short of freaking out. We got our bags and walked towards the guy who was waiting for us from the Plaza hotel.

"Hello sirs and madams. I'll be driving you to the hotel today. I hope you had a nice flight?" He asked courteously.

We all mumbled our thank you's and followed the guy towards the van that would be taking us to the hotel. The ride was pretty uneventful apart from Charlie letting the group know that we were tired and were going to stay in today. They all said that it was okay, but I could feel them sneaking glances at me, as if they knew it was because of me.

After we checked into the hotel, and were waiting for our rooms to get ready, this girl, who was around my age came up to us. No, she came up to Charlie, who was eating peanuts like he had been starved his whole life.

"Um, excuse me?" She said, giggling like a little girl.

Charlie looked up and swallowed the fistful of peanuts he had just eaten. He asked, "Yes?"

"Are you by any chance Charlie Kelmeckis, the writer dude?"

He smiled in a friendly way and stood up and said, "Yes, that's me. The writer dude." She giggled again and said, "Oh my god! I am such a big fan! Like, I've totally read like, ALL of your books!"

"Thank you, I'm glad you liked them," he said.

"You should, like, TOTALLY make them into movies! That'll be SO cool!" She squealed.

"Uh, we'll see...um, it's a good idea. We'll see how it works out."

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Of course. Can I have something to write on, please?" He asked, taking out his pen. She took out something that looked like a book and said, "Here you go. My name's Hannah." He smiled at her and signed her book.

He gave it back to her and she said, "Oh my god! Thanks so much! And keep this." She handed him a folded piece of paper and left, but not before winking flirtatiously at him. Resisting the urge to hurl my phone at her, I asked, "What did she give you?"

"I don't know. A gift maybe. Some fans like to give gifts," he said and sat down beside me. He opened the paper and his widened. I leaned over to see what it was, and I started seeing red.

Patrick, Mary Elizabeth, and Alice all asked together, grinning, "What does it say?"

"It says, 'Call me when you get bored of...whatever her name is. Xxxxx'" I fumed. They all looked at my expression and started cracking up.

"Charlie, your girlfriend's jealous," Mary Elizabeth said, snickering.

"I am not!"

Charlie didn't say anything. He just tore the paper into pieces and murmured, "Sorry, Hannah. I'm taken." I fought the urge to start making out with him in that lobby. I took my phone out and typed a message, "I will not let you get out of the bed for the rest of the day. Or at least till I'm done with you. However long that will take ;)" I hit send. His phone beeped, and when he read my message, his eyes bulged out of their sockets, and he typed something in reply. Three seconds later my phone beeped. The message said, "I'm yours. I think the bed is an incredible place to spend the day in, or however long you plan to take with me ;)" I smiled and glanced at him, and he flashed a small smile.

"Do I want to know the contents of this conversation you both just had?" Patrick asked, raising his eyebrows.

I smirked and said, "No. Mind your own business, Patrick." In response, he very maturely stuck his tongue out at me.

Eventually, our rooms were ready, and our luggage was dropped in everyone's respective suites. As soon as the door closed shut, I locked it and pounced on Charlie, slamming my lips into his.

Something was different that day. It was like we couldn't hold each other close enough, even though our bodies were flush against each other. We held on to each other like it was the last chance we would get to be together. I didn't know why there was all this urgency, or what caused it. But I never objected once.

I flopped back down on Charlie's shoulder, panting slightly. He grabbed my left hand from the arm that was under my head, and started running his fingers over mine. His fingers lingered a second longer on my ring finger, and my heart skipped a beat.

"I'll fill this finger up one day. If you want it to be filled up, of course," he said as he ran his thumb over my ring finger. My heart was hammering through my chest, I was almost sure he could hear it.

I cleared my throat and managed to say something without stuttering.

"I want it to be filled up someday. Preferably by you." He grinned and pulled me in for a kiss. He pulled away before we went any further, and I stopped myself from pouting.

"Yeah. You want to sleep for a bit?"

"Yeah. I'm tired."

* * *

*next evening*

We were driving to my parents' house, it was the first place we were going to because everyone insisted that this was the most stressful visit we had, so we should finish with it first. I wasn't sure if I agreed with them, but I didn't say anything. Charlie went back to whispering comforting nothing's in my ear, he said all the things he had said before, but he also said that he knew my mom loved me, and she wouldn't let history repeat itself. He didn't say anything about my stepdad, I was glad he didn't. The last thing I needed was false reassurances, and I had learnt a long time ago that false reassurances was never his style.

After a thirty minute drive, we pulled over in front of the familiar white house I once called home.

**AN: hahahahahaa! I am so excited! Something big is going to happen in the next chapter, I won't say if it's happy or sad...but it's massive! I can't wait to write it! **

**Yay. **

**Rant time: soooo I am leaving for boarding school in 27 days, I'm really starting to freak out. But its the good, excited-for-the-new-chapter-of-my-life kind of freak out...mostly. I have to go run all these errands and do so many things and try and go as far with this story I can...ahhh I don't know. And I love the Jonas Brothers! Random, I know. But they're coming out with new music! Yay! And all these amazing movies are gonna come out! Sea of Monsters, Stuck In love, Catching Fire, and ahhhhh. And I read this book, Great Gatsby, it's a brilliant book. And I don't think I can finish this story in 27 days. So my updates are going to get more irregular, but I will try and update as often as I can, kay? **

**Rant over. **


	17. Chapter 16: Go, Going, Gone

**AN: the song for this chapter is...Asleep By The Smiths. You'll see why. I'm taking a different writing approach with this chapter, so I hope you'll like it. **

**Enjoy and review!**

Third person PoV:

"She has suffered multiple fractures and head injuries. And because of the trauma her mind and body have suffered...I don't know how to say this...she has slipped into a coma. We don't know when she will wake up. There is a...there's a chance that...she might not...I just want you to be prepared for the worst. I am so sorry," said the doctor to the breaking boy, whose shirt was stained in the blood of the one he loved. By the time the words came out of the doctor's mouth and he left, the boy was nothing but a heap of regret, pain and longing. He crumpled down on the cold hard floor of the hospital, and cried. He cried because he knew he could have saved her, she could have been at his side today, he could have stopped her from running out of the house on to the road. But mostly, he cried because he was scared. He was scared that the love of his life would never wake up.

Flashback

The group of five best friends walked out of the car towards the white coloured house, dreading the visit they had to make, but couldn't avoid. Three friends, Patrick, Mary Elizabeth and Alice walked ahead valiantly, planning in their minds to face situation head on. Two of them walked behind, taking their time. The only thing that made the boy and the girl different from their three friends was the beautiful fact that they were not just best friends, they were lovers. They walked side by side with their arms around each other, and the boy reassured the girl that everything was going to be alright, and he was not going to leave her side no matter what happened, and that she was going to make this visit and she was going to be okay. The girl stayed quiet and listened to the boy, his soft voice made her calm. They stopped several feet before the door, the boy turned the girl to face him and said, "Sam, you can do this. I know you can. I promise, we'll get out of here as soon as we can, okay?"

The girl lifted her head to look into his calm, blue eyes and said, "Okay." He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a soft, chaste kiss, and they walked towards the door arm in arm. Right on the last step, she stopped him and pulled him in a tight embrace. Before pulling away, she whispered, "I love you, Charlie."

"I love you, too, Sam."

With that and a deep breath, they walked through the door, ready to face whatever came next, as long as they had each other.

As soon as they walked into the house, they found themselves facing a woman they both knew extremely well, Sam's mother. Sam was disturbed to see how tired and sad she looked, but that all seemed to go away as soon as she saw her face. It was like looking at a dark Christmas tree, and watching it light up suddenly. She pulled the couple in for a tight hug, and eventually, Charlie worked his way out of her embrace so they both could catch up on the lost moments. Instinctively, his eyes started to search whatever part of the house he could see for Sam's stepfather, but he was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed, but he didn't waste time in worrying about that and went back to watching Sam and her mother. It was a beautiful sight to see, both of them hugging each other as close as they could, and both of them crying and laughing at the same time and mumbling things about how much they missed each other. Sam pulled away and motioned Charlie to come closer so she could formally introduce him as her boyfriend. It wasn't like she had ever been stopped from dating anyone, but she wanted to do things properly for once. She grabbed his arm and yanked him closer and said, "Mom, meet my boyfriend, Charlie."

Her mother laughed and said, "It's nice to meet you, Charlie. You've changed so much! It's so good to finally see you again!"

He smiled and said, "It's nice to see you again too, Mrs. Jameson."

"Oh, why are you both standing here? Come in!" Sam stopped her and said, "Mom, can I go see my room first?"

"Of course, Sam. Go ahead. Will you be joining her, Charlie?"

"If she wants me to," he said, looking at Sam, who replied, "He'll be joining me. We'll be back in five minutes." She grabbed his hand and took him up the stairs to the room that meant so much to them and their relationship. She opened the door to her room. It looked the same, except it was emptier and slightly dusty. Sam was surprised to see her Christmas lights still working, her mom must have replaced them. She walked in and looked around. She found a photograph on her desk, a photograph she remembered she was particularly fond of. It was a photograph of herself and Charlie in her pickup truck. They were both laughing, and the sides of their foreheads were touching, and Sam had her arm around his shoulder like she always put it when the picture was clicked. She didn't remember what was funny, and she didn't remember when it was clicked, but she remembered they were just laughing. She took the photo frame in her hands and stared at the photo, not realising that Charlie was looking at it too. Eventually she did realise, and turned around to kiss him. They broke off and Sam told him, "I'm going to take this photo home." He smiled and nodded, and they both went back downstairs.

* * *

They had been in the living room talking for almost an hour, as it turned out, Sam didn't really seem to mind spending time there, even if that was the room where she had the fight. She was enjoying catching up with her mom, and was slowly starting to warm up to her again.

But that all changed. It changed when her stepfather Paul decided to pay the group a visit. He wasn't aware that his stepdaughter was there too, why, nobody knew. He walked in the room to find his son, his wife, and Sam sitting on one couch laughing.

"What are you doing here?" He growled at Sam, who jumped in surprise. She stood up slowly, along with everyone else, and Charlie, who quickly came over to her side protectively, her mother, Mary Elizabeth, and Alice. "Hi Paul," she mumbled.

"What are you doing here?" He asked again.

"I've come to visit you both. I thought we could sort our...differences out. You are my dad, Paul. I don't like-"

"You are no daughter of mine. If you were you would've been respectful and apologise for what you did," he yelled.

"Paul! You will not speak to my daughter like that!" Ordered Sam's mother. He looked at her and said, "I thought we were over this! I don't want to see her again. Why is she here?" He spoke of her as if she wasn't even there, making Charlie extremely angry, and making Sam regret coming there.

"She is here because she is my daughter and I want to see her and apologise for the way we treated her! I suggest you do the same, Paul!"

Sam had broken down into tears while they were arguing, and she had had enough.

"Stop it! Both of you! Paul I don't know why you hate me but you can't speak about me that way! I knew I shouldn't have come here, I told you, Mary Elizabeth. I have no interest in having myself insulted over and over again!" She screamed, crying heavily. Without another word, she ran out of the house, and Charlie followed her, calling her name and asking her to stop.

That is when their lives changed.

Sam didn't stop running, and she ran too far. She saw the white light of the car just as she heard Charlie yell out her name, "SAM!"

Charlie's world collapsed when he saw the woman he loved get run over by a car. She went up above the car and fell on the hard road. "NO!" He yelled as he ran towards her mangled body. Mrs. Jameson, Paul, Mary Elizabeth and Alice all came out at that moment. One couldn't be sure who screamed first, but they all heard Charlie desperately yell out to no one in particular, "Call the ambulance! Now!" Mary Elizabeth took out her phone with shaking hands and called 911, stammering something about needing an ambulance because of a terrible hit and run.

Charlie fell down on his knees beside Sam, and cradled her head in his lap, crying. There was blood all over her face, coming out of ugly gashes. Her arm was bent at a disturbing angle, it was broken.

"Sam-Sam, don't die. Please don't-don't die," he stammered through his tears.

"Char-Charlie," she croaked, evidently in pain.

"I'm here, love. I'm right here. Stay, please. Stay-stay with me. Please," he sobbed.

"I want...I want to...to sleep," she whispered.

"I know you do, Sam. I know...I know. But please-please don't close your-your eyes. The ambulance...it's on its way, Sam. You can sleep in the...the hospital. You're going to be fine, you hear me? I won't let anything happen to you. You are not going to die," he said. The amount of pain they both were in was impossible to describe in words. And it wasn't just physical.

"I-I love...love you...you know...that, right?" She asked him.

"I love you, too, Sam. I love you so much. Hold on...for me, please. Just few more minutes, Sam. The ambulance will be here-"

"I can't...do it...it's hard..." She croaked.

"No, no, no, please, no! Sam, you can't die on me, you can't! There's so much we have to do together! You can't leave m-me," he sobbed. She reached up with her good arm and wiped his tears away, and put her hand on his neck.

"I'm...I'm trying..." She whispered.

He smiled weakly, even though he was crying. "Thank-thank you...thank you..."

"What...what do we...have to...do together?" She asked.

"We have to go for our vacation, remember? We'll go to the Bahamas like we planned, or if you change your mind, we'll go somewhere else. I'll take you...I'll take you all around the world...if you want," he said, staring at her face, while frantically sneaking glances on the road for the ambulance. He heard the siren, and Sam said, "What...what else? Charlie..."

He looked back down at her and started, "We have to-" He was interrupted by the paramedic, who said, "Sir, please. We need to stabilise her." He moved aside and watched as they put Sam on the stretcher and lifted her up to carry her to the ambulance. He saw her fingers move and point at him, and she mumbled something. The paramedic stopped and stared at Charlie for a second, and said, "Sir, we need you to come with us. She is asking for you."

"Yes-yes...I'll come...I'll come," he said and followed them in. He sat beside her as they attached the I.V liquid and the monitors, and cleaned her wounds up. She moved her fingers in Charlie direction again in a grabbing motion. The paramedic stared at him again and said, "Can you...can you please hold her hand?" He looked at the paramedic, and then at Sam, and quickly grabbed her hand, and whispered, "I'm here, Sam...I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She whispered, "What...what else...what else, Charlie?"

He smiled at her and said, "After we come back from our vacation...we'll come home. And we'll live together and we'll be...we'll be happy, and you'll get a big fancy promotion at work, and we'll be together. And maybe next year or two years after...whenever we're ready, I'll get you a ring. And I'll propose to you-" one of the assisting medics shoved him aside and said, "I'm sorry sir, please stay back. We need to stabilise your...girlfriend." One of the monitors started beeping loudly, and Charlie's heart almost stopped. "What's wrong? Why is that beeping?" He cried. The paramedic who had been staring at him frantically looked between them, motioned him to come closer and said, "Come here! Hold her hand! Talk to her, do whatever you were doing!" He grabbed hold of her hand again and said, "So, I'll...I'll propose to you, and if you-if you want...you can-you can say yes. And we'll-we'll get married, yeah?" He saw the faintest smile on her face and she whispered, "Yeah...we can...we can do...we can do...that."

"Yeah. And then, we'll-we'll have a baby...a little girl...and we can-if you want-we can name her Calliope."

"It means...it means...mu-music," she croaked.

"Yes, it means music."

"That...sounds...good..."

"It does, doesn't it? And maybe...a couple of years after...we can have another baby. A little boy...and we can name him...we can name him whatever you want," he said, trying to sound excited, even though he could hear his voice shaking with fear.

"That...sounds...that sounds...ni-nice..."

"It does, right? So you have to fight, Sam. Because we have to do those things. And we have to watch our kids grow up. And we have to be the overprotective parents when our children go on their first dates. And we have to go for their graduation, and we have to be there when they introduce us to the love of their lives. Can you fight for this?" He asked, kissing her hand gently.

"I...I will...fight..."

The ambulance stopped and Sam was transferred to a gurney. Charlie walked with her as far as he could, but he was told to wait outside when they took her to the trauma room. He collapsed on one of the chairs, exhausted from keeping it together for so long, and started sobbing violently with his head in his hands. He didn't notice when Sam's parents, Patrick, Alice and Mary Elizabeth entered. He only bothered to look up when Patrick put his hand on his shoulder and said, "Charlie...how is she?" He saw who all was there, and looking at Paul's face made him the angriest he had ever been. He walked straight up to Paul, and growled, "I'll tell you how she is. She is on the verge of dying, she is in pain, her arm is broken, she had blood coming out of the deep cuts on her face, every inch of her body is injured. She is sad, she is angry, and she is regretful. And you," he spat, pointing his finger at Paul's face, "are the reason she is here. Just what do you think you're doing here? She is no daughter of yours. And you are nothing to her. Nothing. I don't see why you came here. I suggest you get out before I have to do something I'll regret." He looked at Paul as if he was a disease, he had never felt so much hatred and anger at anyone in his lifetime.

"How do you think you are talking to me?" He growled back.

"I am talking to you the way you deserve to be talked to. I swear, if something happens to her, I will see to it that you pay for what you did. Now get out!" Charlie spoke-yelled. He got some stares, but he ignored them.

"She is my daughter-"

"DON'T YOU DARE-" he yelled, but was told to keep quiet, "don't you dare call her your daughter! You can't throw her away when she came back to meet you and then come crawling back when her damn life is in danger. I will not let you play with her like that. Get out."

"But-"

"I said get out."

"Listen-"

"Get. Out." He said calmly, but everyone there could see how angry he really was, he even managed to scare Mary Elizabeth, Patrick and Alice. His mom was already terrified, mostly because of her daughter, but she was also scared that Charlie would tell her to go too. "Mrs. Jameson, please stay. You did nothing," he said when she was starting to leave with her husband.

"Thank you, Charlie." He said nothing, and waited anxiously for somebody to tell him if his Sam was going to be okay.

After half an hour of pacing around and sobbing quietly, Charlie was approached by a doctor. He usually didn't make use of his celebrity status to get things done, but this time he had ordered the authorities to get the best doctors in the country for Sam. The doctors went in and got a report on their patient. So, Charlie was approached by one of those doctors, and he started asking questions about any medical allergies or previous accidents. Charlie informed him about her fracture earlier this year, and her mother informed him that she had no medical allergies. When they inquired why these questions were asked, the doctor said, "Ms. Jameson needs surgery, now. We are prepping her for the OR, and we need you to fill these papers up." He explained the process and Charlie went straight to work, not speaking a word with anyone. Patrick sat with his head in his hands, silent tears flowing down his face, Mary Elizabeth and Alice never spoke, but kept crying. Her mother was seated beside Patrick and Charlie, silently crying and cursing herself as if it was all her fault that her daughter was fighting for her life. She thought of so many things she could have done differently to prevent this from happening. She watched as Charlie got up silently and deposited the papers wherever they needed to be deposited. He wasn't crying anymore, and he wasn't saying anything. But he looked so pained, as if what was happening was hurting him physically. He sat back down silently, and began to stare at the floor.

* * *

*many hours later*

Charlie had lost count of time. In fact he had lost count of everything. He didn't know and didn't care who else was there, or who else was crying, he was out of control. The pain he was in made him numb, and he couldn't cry anymore. He felt like crying would be an insult to the grief he was in, because crying couldn't even begin to fill up for it. He didn't know what could. He sat in that one chair staring at that one spot on the floor without moving. The others tried talking to him, and he heard them just fine. But he wasn't sure what would come out if he opened his mouth, words, screams, or nothing. So he did the next best thing he could think of doing, he ignored them. And eventually, they left him alone too, occasionally asking him to eat something or drink water or to go back to the hotel and sleep. He didn't say anything.

A couple of hours later, the doctor came out of the OR, looking somber. Charlie shot up and asked, "How is she? Did the surgery go well? Is she going to be okay?" The doctor stared at him with sympathy. Charlie was getting impatient, he asked, "Why are you looking at me like that? Tell me! How is she? Why won't you say anything?"

The doctor started, "The surgery was successful and we were able to save her," he saw relief wash over the boy's face, "but..."

His face grew worried, "But what?"

"She has suffered multiple fractures and head injuries. And because of the trauma her mind and body have suffered...I don't know how to say this...she has slipped into a coma. We don't know when she will wake up. There is a...there's a chance that...she might not...I just want you to be prepared for the worst. I am so sorry," said the doctor to the breaking boy, whose shirt was stained in the blood of the one he loved. By the time the words came out of the doctor's mouth and he left, the boy was nothing but a heap of regret, pain and longing. He crumpled down on the cold hard floor of the hospital, and cried. He cried because he knew he could have saved her, she could have been at his side today, he could have stopped her from running out of the house on to the road. But mostly, he cried because he was scared. He was scared that the love of his life would never wake up.

**AN: there you have it. I have nothing to say. **

**Dear SunDanceQT: thanks!**

**You know what's next...REVIEW!**


	18. Chapter 17: Aftermath

**AN: hi! You really didn't see that last chapter coming, did you? I told you it was massive and life changing. I got the desired reaction (cuz the story was getting boring-ish). Speaking of which... ALMOST 100 REVIEWS! My gods.**

** So dear 100th reviewer, since I have no idea how to thank you, so one shot it is. I will write a one shot for you, about whatever you want. You can PM me or review as to what you want to read about. **

**So... This chapter will be a 1st person PoV, and it is about the first two weeks after the accident and deals with Charlie and the gang trying to cope with the tragedy. **

**The song for this chapter is... LOST AND FOUND BY KATIE HERZIG! **

**Enjoy and review! **

Charlie's PoV:

Week one, day three:

"It couldn't have been true. It couldn't have been real. Sam couldn't have slipped into a coma. No. It's just not possible. She could never do something like that." Every time I tried to convince myself that I was dreaming and I was not on the verge of potentially losing Sam forever, somebody would come and remind me that it was real. It was not like they were rubbing it in on purpose, they were always "checking on me," and seeing if I was "okay." The truth was, I was everything but okay. I would've been sent to a therapist by now if I told anyone how not okay I was. So, I made a system. A system to not be bothered by "well-wishers" and to grieve in peace. During the day and the hospital visits, I would pretend to be normal and okay, and at night in the hotel room, I would cry and feel sad and miserable without anyone disturbing me. Truthfully, there wasn't anything else I could do anymore at night. Sleeping was a lost cause, because of the nightmares. The first two days after...when I tried to sleep, all I got was nightmares about the doctor telling me to "be prepared for the worst," and the worst actually happening. Therefore, I haven't slept in two days, and coffee's my new best friend. I couldn't do anything to numb the pain, and the doctor's words ringing in my ears all the time, and Sam's hurt face flashing in my head every second of everyday. I had sworn that I wouldn't use alcohol as a painkiller, I didn't think Sam would like to see me as an alcohol addict when she woke up.

I silently walked to room 213 very aware of the sympathetic glances my friends were giving me.

"Staring at me will not make Sam wake up," I said quietly and walked in her room.

Looking at her was like being crushed by a truck, then being healed badly, and then being whipped and crushed by a truck again, times one hundred. She was heavily bandaged and plastered, I could only just see her face. She was intubated, and those monitors I had already started to hate kept beeping like they always did.

I took a seat next to her bed and stared at her for a few minutes. Even when she was wrapped up in bandages and the little bit of skin I could see was covered in scratches, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. A hopelessly hopeful part of me expected her to wake up at my intense gaze, but the rational part of me knew it wasn't going to happen. So, I took her hand in mine and started talking to her. I knew she couldn't hear me, but talking to her was the only thing that kept me alive. It was the only thing that saved me from losing my sanity. I told her about my day, every detail. How I woke up in the morning and took a shower, and realised I hadn't shaved since two days. And how I went down to the cafeteria to have breakfast, even though I really didn't want to, and how Patrick, Mary Elizabeth and Alice kept giving me worried looks as if I was going to explode on the spot. And I told her about how sad they were, and how Alice never really stopped crying, and how Mary Elizabeth looked like she wanted to curl up in a ball and sob to her heart's content, and how Patrick was barely keeping it together, and how I could see the bags under his eyes. And then I told her about her mom and Paul, and I said that I knew she wouldn't want to hear about it, but she had the right to know. I told her that her mom never really stopped crying either, and she had been talking to me a lot, and I found myself wanting to talk to her too. That could be because we both were very close her and needed each other for support. I told her that Paul had stopped talking, he never said anything. It took all my will to not start beating him up every time I saw his face. The last time I saw him, which was yesterday, he said something.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I know you can never forgive me for what I did to Sam but I want you to know that I regret doing what I did, and I hate myself for it. I am sorry that it took something like this for me to realise I was wrong." I didn't know what to say to him, so I said nothing. He sighed and walked away.

After that, I told her how much I missed her, and that it killed me to see her like this, and how I needed her to be okay. I told her I loved her. I told her it took me this accident and two days after that to realise that I couldn't really live without her. I told her I wanted her to come back and be at my side again, and then I told her I loved her again. A nurse came and said that visiting hours were almost over and I should let the others see her. I nodded at her and turned back to Sam. Standing up, I kissed her hand and said, "I'll come back tomorrow."

Week one, day six:

Patrick's PoV:

It'd been six days since the accident happened, I still couldn't bring myself to believe it actually happened. But the fact that I knew I was in denial made it all the more frustrating, because either you are in denial, or you are not in denial. It's that simple. At least it's supposed to be. But after all this time, I had come to see that in our life, it's never that simple. Everything is something a little more than what it seems to be, and sometimes that is just so damn annoying.

I couldn't help but blame myself for what happened. I knew I didn't do anything, but somehow I just did blame myself. After all, my dad caused this mess in the first place. If it weren't for him, things wouldn't have been so screwed up at home, Sam could've been the daughter who went to New York and came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's not like that could've stopped her from meeting Charlie and going out with him, maybe they could've come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas together. I hadn't shared this with anyone, the last thing I needed was those reassurances that it was not my fault and that "everything was going to be alright." Because everything was not going to be alright. And we all knew it. I was reminded of it every time I locked myself in my hotel room and cried for my sister. I was reminded of it every time I saw Charlie's face. It was like he had already died, and a lifeless shell was walking around in his place. The bags and the dark circles were very clear under his eyes, I was sure he hadn't slept in days. He was on the verge of going insane. Today morning at breakfast, he touched his slightly bearded face and started chuckling. "I keep forgetting to shave." I didn't know what to say, neither did Mary Elizabeth, neither did Alice. The other day, I was walking to the elevator from the lobby and an middle aged woman stopped me. "Yes?" I asked.

"I don't mean to intrude, but I couldn't help but notice you look extremely troubled. Is everything alright?" She asked. My jaw clenched. I studied her for a minute before answering, she seemed genuinely concerned. It was funny the moments people chose to be generous in.

"Yes, ma'am. Everything is alright. My sister was in an accident and almost died and is in a coma, and her boyfriend, who also happens to be my best friend is going insane. Everything is alright," I spat. I regretted it as soon as I said the words, because she cringed and stared at me with shock and sympathy. "I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you or anything. I shouldn't have said that, I-"

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry. I hope your sister wakes up and...I'm sorry," she said and went the other way.

I hadn't even called Connor to tell him about what happened, I was sure he was going crazy worrying about me. So today after breakfast, I went to my hotel room and called him.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you?" His voice said harshly.

"Yeah...well...some really, really, very bad things happened. And I couldn't find the time to call you."

"What happened? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked frantically.

"I'm not okay, Connor. I'm really not okay," I said, and my voice cracked at the last word and I realised I was crying again.

"Patrick, what happened? Is it your parents?" He asked gently, but I could hear the worry in his voice.

"No...well, yes. Both."

"What happened?"

"We went to visit Susan and dad, and he started yelling at Sam again, and then Susan and he started fighting. Sam ran out of the house crying and she...she was run over by a car, Connor! She almost died! And now she's in a coma, and Charlie's going crazy, and Alice won't stop crying, and Mary Elizabeth is going around trying to be strong and everything is just so bad!" I sobbed. He didn't say anything for a very long time, and I kept crying.

"Oh my god. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," I said, crying heavily.

"I'm coming there. I'll catch the earliest flight possible."

"Don't you have your promotion thing to worry about?"

"This is more important," he said.

"No. You stay. Don't come. It's okay."

"It's not okay, Patrick! I can't just sit here while you're there handling all of this. I won't be able to live with myself."

"No, please just stay. I'll be fine," I said hastily.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I have to go, we're about to leave for the hospital."

"Bye, Patrick. Call me, okay?"

"Yeah I will. Bye." I said and cut the phone.

Week two, day three:

Alice's PoV:

It had been almost a week and a half since the unspeakable happened. And I had absolutely no shame in admitting that it had ripped me apart and torn all my beliefs to shreds. All my beliefs being that things can be fixed, and everything does turn out to be fine, and that Pittsburgh was a good place to visit. It wasn't like constantly crying helped or anything, it just made me feel an insolent baby, who didn't care about how anybody else was feeling and just kept living in her miserable little bubble. I didn't want to do that, I really didn't. But it broke me because I was the one who suggested coming here, and if I wasn't the idiot that I am, maybe Sam wouldn't have been fighting for her life and maybe Charlie wouldn't be going insane with grief, and maybe Patrick wouldn't have had to see his sister and his best friend that way and maybe Mary Elizabeth wouldn't have had to pretend to be strong and secretly cry and scream into her pillow. I heard her a few times, but I didn't want to embarrass her so I let it go. Maybe if I could've just listened to Sam when she tried to explain that doing this was a bad idea, it wouldn't have gone so horribly wrong. But I had learned the hard way that you didn't get to do things over in life. You didn't get a chance to make things right. Once you do something, there's no going back. What's done is done.

With that happy thought, I slumped down on my bed just as Mary Elizabeth stormed into my room, shocking me.

"I am done. I am so fucking done. I am just so absolutely done. I swear, as soon as Sam wakes up and gets better, I will not wait a second longer to catch a plane and get of Deathsburgh. Why did you even suggest coming here? And why did you let the idea grow in my head? Don't you see? Something just HAS to go wrong and it just HAS to put somebody's life in danger. How did you forget Suicide While In College Brad and Best Friend Who Shot Himself Michael and my Plane Crash parents and your Train Accident Brother? I am sorry I am being so harsh but are you blind? Don't you see EVERYONE we love or have some kind of close relationship with dies here?! They all died, Alice! And they all meant something to us! Good or bad, they were an important part of our lives! And now we're just a minute away from losing Sam! Do you have any idea how much losing important people over and over again hurts? And how you always need them? They left us! And they're never coming back! And those who didn't die fell sick, or they went away to Canada or something! Do you remember Bob? Our close friend who got cancer and then just fucking disappeared?! And do you remember how we searched for Charlie when he stopped replying to Sam's letters and calls and just stopped visiting at all?! And do you remember how it broke Sam because he was her best friend in the world, the best friend she had fallen in love with, and she lost him before even getting a chance to tell him she loved him?! Do you remember or should I remind you-"

"Stop! Just stop! Please," I yelled as my knees gave out and I fell to the floor with my face in my hands, crying. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I ruined everyone's life and I'm sorry that I caused this to happen and I'm sorry I convinced everyone to come here! I'm sorry! I didn't want any of this to happen, and I would do anything for it to be reversed, okay? I know how much it hurts when you lose someone you love! My "Train Accident brother" was only sixteen years old! Did you know that? And did you know my mother fell sick because she couldn't handle the trauma? And did you know she died three years back and I came to watch her get buried next to her son? And did you know I still have nightmares about it? I know perfectly well how much it hurts when you lose the most important people in your life, and it's killing me to know that I might lose one of the only sister-like figures in my life, and it's killing me to know that I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT! If I could, I would undo every damn thing that led to this, I swear I would! Don't make me feel like more of a murderer than I already do right now, or I'm going to die. Please," I whimpered as my big sobs brought shivers down my body. She sat down on the floor with me and pulled me in for a hug. And we just sat there on the floor hugging and crying. It felt good to feel miserable with someone else.

Week two, day six:

Mary Elizabeth's PoV:

It had been almost two weeks since...those things happened, and three days since my little fight...thing happened with Alice. We had found solace in grieving together, and we found ourselves leaning heavily on each other for support. She was the only one I could admit to that I was tired of being the strong one, and I was tired of keeping it together for the sake of everyone else. I needed to break down, and I needed someone to support me. I needed to have a weak moment.

Everyday I got to spend fifteen minutes with my comatose best friend, and I had developed a kind of love-hate relationship with that time. We had all unanimously decided that we would give Charlie more time because firstly, he was the only one among us who was strong enough to spend time with Sam in that state without breaking down in fits or throwing up and secondly, that time was the only thing that anchored his mental health from going to a very bad place. The nurse had told us a few days back that Charlie spoke to Sam. She said he told her that he knew Sam couldn't hear him but he needed to do it, because he would die if he didn't.

So far there had been no improvements in Sam's condition, but she wasn't getting worse, at least that's what the doctor said. I think that was the one thing that all of us clung onto as our last hope. The doctor also said that if she didn't show any improvement (he didn't mean movement) by the end of next week he would start to worry a little.

"Since she wasn't fit enough to give us a directive (AN: is this word appropriate here? I don't know), you," he pointed at Charlie, "or her parents will have to make the decision if she doesn't get better," the doctor said.

"What decision?" Charlie asked in a harsh tone, but we were all used to it, because he spoke like that all the time now. That is...whenever he did speak.

"The decision to put her off life support. If she takes a turn for the worse or there is no improvement over a period of time, we need to know when to put her off life support."

"Do I need to tell you now?" He asked in a hoarse voice.

"No. You can tell me whenever you think it's time or how long do you want us to wait. Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to be practical. I don't mean to say that she won't make it," the doctor said sympathetically. Charlie just gave a rough nod, not looking anyone in the eyes. That earned another sympathetic glance from the doctor, who walked away two seconds later.

"I need some air," Charlie said quietly and stormed off to the parking lot.

In that moment I was sure that I had never had a worse two weeks in my life.

**AN: depressing, huh? Not my best chapter, which I'm sort of pissed about because it took so long to put together. Now I'm not giving anything away about what I have planned for future chapters, so my lips are sealed. **

**IMPORTANT: the one shot I plan to dedicate to the 100th reviewer will not be posted on the one shot series. Just keep that in mind, please. **

**So, KEVIN JONAS IS HAVING A BABY! Oh my gods. It made it so hard for me to write something this sad when such amazing news was shared! So yeah, a lot of effort has gone into making this morbidly sad. **

**You know what's next... REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 18: Movement

**AN: *le faints* 106 REVIEWS! GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA. **

**Before I start the shout outs, I just want to tell ya'll that I won't reveal what I have planned for later chapters. I know you're devastated that I did this to Sam, I'm devastated too, but it had to be done for Charlie's character development. I need to change him for something that going to happen in later chapters. Sorry!**

**I have some shout outs to some people, so please read them!**

**Dear rodo272- congrats and thank you for reviewing! I don't think a lemon will really fit in the situation they're in. I mean, right now they're supposed to sad and miserable, and not having sex. But if something does come up in future chapters, I'll see if I can fit one in. I'm waiting for that idea and sorry I couldn't write something for your original idea, I just didn't want a bad outcome. A bad outcome would mean a bad thank you, and I really don't want that. **

**Dear Guest- I'm not sure how to respond to that without revealing what I have planned next. **

**Dear Jordan- the next chapter...this one is due now and I think I should be done with this story in 25, 30 tops chapters. **

**Dear ForeverAGallagherGirl135- awe, I'm sorry, but I have to go. And this is nowhere hear the ending, there's a lot more left to this story. I'm sorry I almost made you cry, and I'm sorry that happened to your brother...I feel very weird, like some sort of psychic chick, which I am not. **

**Dear Bellah1988- thank you so much and I'm glad you feel that way. I am trying to write as many chapters as I possibly can before I have to go, and as I said before, I think this story will be 25, or maximum 30 chapters, unless I get another idea and I have to make it longer...**

**Dear PerksofbeingaFan- again, I am not sure how to respond to your request without revealing what I have planned for the next chapters. Thank you so much and it means a lot to me that you feel that way. I feel very strange, because nobody has ever cried because of something I've written...at least not before FanFiction. I guess I'm sorry I made you cry...? **

**Dear Hungergamesfan0802- I can't respond to that without revealing what I have planned for future chapters. Please don't be depressed... **

**Guys really, I wish I could mention everyone of you who have read, reviewed and favourited and followed my story...but that would take ages and I have a dentist appointment today. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for reading and liking my story, I had never imagined it would go so far. Thank you guys! **

**Now on to the story...sorry for making the AN ridiculously long...but it had to be done :p this chapter deals with the gang and Comatose Sam a month after the hit and run. **

**The song for this chapter is... SALT IN THE WOUND BY DELTA SPIRIT! **

**Enjoy and review!**

Charlie's PoV:

"Congratulations. Sam is showing some signs of improvement! Her vitals are finally lifting up, and her wounds are healing well. If her progress keeps up like this she will make a good recovery," the doctor finally declared after one month. I was sure that I had never been told something better, except Sam telling me she loved me. Nothing could beat that. The doctor didn't look like he had finished talking, so I asked, "Is there something else?"

"Yes. I'm still worried about her fractures, she had quite a lot of them. She broke her foot again, her arm was almost crushed, and she broke about three ribs, and I haven't even mentioned her hairline fractures yet. These fractures will take a while to heal, and when she...ahem...wakes up, she will need a lot of physical therapy to get her to function properly again. She won't be able to travel, so one of you will have to stay with her while she goes through therapy and rehab."

"So, you're saying she will wake up...like a hundred percent?" Mary Elizabeth asked, and I had never felt more grateful to her than in that moment.

"Uh...well...I-I want to be...optimistic," the doctor said, cleverly avoiding the question. I felt my anger rise again, it was very easy for me to lose my temper these days.

"Answer her," I muttered.

"It's difficult to say anything at this point in time, but if her recovery continues to go this way I think she will wake up."

"Thank you," I said quietly, and expected him to get the sign. He did, and walked away. I went back to staring at that spot on the floor perfectly aware of my friends staring at me.

"Charlie, did you hear that? Sam's getting better! She's going to wake up! Can you at least crack a smile?" Mary Elizabeth said, nudging me. At first I felt a tinge of annoyance, but the thought of Sam waking up was enough to make it go away. Apparently, it was enough to make me smile too. My first real smile in one month.

"Yeah. Sam's going to wake up," I repeated, just to try and make it sink in.

*two days later*

"I wrote to my friend yesterday, Sam. I told him or her all about what happened. It's the first time I wrote to him or her in a month. It was one of the few times I wish I could know what her or she thought about all this, you know what I me- OH MY GOD!" I shrieked. Her doctor and a bunch of nurses came rushing in and started asking me why I screamed.

"Sam just-she just-she-she just...she squeezed my hand! I was talking to her and I had her hand in mine and she just squeezed it! It was very soft but she did!"I exclaimed, staring at our hands. The doctor said something to the nurses and they started running running around checking things and making notes, and one of the nurses shoved me out of the door.

"What's wrong? Why are all of them running around? Is she...is she okay?" All my friends asked all at once.

"Sam...she-she squeezed my hand!" I exclaimed, smiling widely.

"She what?!" Patrick demanded and shoved his way in front of me.

"I was talking to her while holding her hand, and she squeezed it! It was very soft but I felt her fingers move!"

"Are you sure? Are absolutely confident you weren't imagining things?"

"Yes, Mary Elizabeth! I am absolutely sure Sam squeezed my hand! I wasn't imagining things! She did, I swear!" I said. I saw the doctor come out and he said, "Nothing has changed, Charlie. Sam might have moved her fingers but that doesn't mean she is waking up. We need to see some major development, only then we can confirm if she is regaining consciousness. We'll keep a closer watch on her from now on if you want."

"Of course I want that. I am in fact surprised as to why there wasn't close watch already," I said, feeling angry again.

"I'll just get that done," the doctor said and walked away. I slumped down on one of the chairs, the familiar feeling of hopelessness seeping in again.

"Charlie, don't worry-" Alice started gently, but I stopped her.

"Don't, Alice. Just don't. I'm sorry."

*next week (time flies, huh?) evening*

One week had passed since Sam moved her fingers, and nothing new or major happened. She just kept sleeping like she usually did these days. I never gave up hope though, because I knew she was strong, and I knew she was going to fight with all she had. She always did.

"Charlie, please eat something, will you? You're getting skinnier by the day!" Patrick said, making me jump.

"I don't feel hungry," I said. That's what I usually said.

"You're always not feeling hungry, Charlie. You're starving yourself," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"I am not starving myself, Patrick. I am eating just fine."

"You are starving yourself, Charlie. Newsflash: it won't make time go any faster and it won't make Sam wake up any sooner," Mary Elizabeth said harshly. I was very taken aback by her tone. I just sort of stared at her with wide eyes, and my mouth formed a perfect 'O.' She looked around and saw all of us staring open mouthed at her.

She did something which sounded like something between a sigh and a groan. "Ugh, sorry."

"PMS much?" Patrick asked.

"Yeah, Patrick. How did you know?" She asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

He just shrugged and said, "Lucky guess."

That's when the arguing started. It got pretty serious, and after a while I just couldn't bear to be in the same room as them. I hoped that maybe they would stop after a point, but they didn't. They argued about everything. Everything related to the hell we were in and everything else. About the president, about Wal-Mart, about Mars, and about everything. And then it started giving me a headache, and things started spinning again, and I'm not fond of things moving when they're not supposed to. And then it got so bad I felt like screaming. So, without saying anything I walked out of the noisy hotel room. I got in the car I had rented for this trip, and drove away. I drove around town for nearly an hour and a half, driving was the only thing that calmed me down these days, even though I couldn't help but think over and over again that I might run over someone like that person did. I started crying again so I drove to the hill on the golf course and cried and screamed to my heart's content. And it felt so good, because I was alone and nobody was there to stop me from losing control and ask me to calm down and tell me that everything was going to be okay. After I could scream and cry no more, I just lay on the grass and closed my eyes. As I did that, a memory of Sam and I came back to me.

_Flashback_

I was waiting outside Sam's doorstep in the evening to surprise her. She didn't know I was in town, so I wasn't sure if she would kill me or be happy.

I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. I heard Sam yell, "I'll get it!" Fifteen seconds later the door clicked and spun open, and there she was. She stared at my chest for a minute and then her gaze moved to my face. She just stared at me as if I wasn't really there, like she was dreaming. We just stood there for a couple of minutes, me smiling at her confused face. I decided to say something.

"Hi, Sam." That was when I felt her body slam into mine. She whispered in my ear while still holding me,"What are you doing here, Charlie?"

"I came to visit you." She pulled away to look at me, and said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you," I said. She told me to wait for her to get the keys to her pickup truck. She came back a few minutes later, holding the keys in her hand. She grabbed my arm and dragged me to her pickup truck, which made me laugh at her impatience.

The first thing she asked when we got in the truck was, "How long have you been here?"

"I arrived this morning."

"You should have told me, Charlie! I wanted to pick you up whenever you came."

"How was I going to surprise you, then?" I asked. She laughed and shook her head.

"I stand corrected," she said and started laughing, and I started laughing. The laughter died down eventually, and we drove around in comfortable silence.

"I missed you, Charlie," Sam said quietly after some time.

"I missed you, too, Sam." We talked about our lives, mine in Canada and hers at home. After I finished my story she commented, "Well, someone's been busy."

"Uh-well...yeah. I guess."

We never once had an awkward moment that night, I had forgotten how easy it was for me to be with her. I felt happy in a way I only felt when I was with Sam, and something about her smile told me that she felt the same way too.

"Where are we going, Sam?" I asked when she suddenly took a turn.

"The hill on the golf course! Have you already forgotten, Charlie?" She said, feigning hurt.

"No, no! It's just Patrick used to take a different route when we came here," I said.

"Okay."

We reached the hill in ten minutes, and after parking the car Sam walked to the bed of her pickup truck and grabbed something which looked like a blanket and walked off to the hill. I jogged behind to catch up with her. I helped her spread the blanket on the familiar spot that we always sat on, and we lay down next to each other, and stared at the stars. I wasn't sure how long we lay there without speaking, but I didn't mind it one bit, especially when I realised that our hands had found each other in between our bodies. And suddenly, Sam asked me something I wasn't expecting.

"Charlie, I wanted to ask you something. What if...hypothetically of course, we got together...that way?"

I didn't say anything for a while, but when I finally remembered how to talk I asked, "Is there any reason you're asking me about this hypothetical situation?"

"Just wondering," she said nonchalantly.

"I...don't know. I have never really thought about it, since you told me not to think about you that way. I guess we would be...happy?"

"Maybe. I was just thinking about it. I mean, I was thinking, would things have been any different if we were together?"

"I think so. For starters we would have kissed at your doorstep tonight instead of giving each other a simple hug. I think there would be more kissing, for starters," I joked.

She shoved my shoulder and said, "Shut up. Seriously, if we were together...do you think we'd...I don't know, last?"

"Yeah, I think we would. I'm not really experienced in relationships or girlfriends so I am not sure, but I think we'd last."

"Yeah, maybe. Hypothetically, of course. Long distance never works out."

I stayed silent. I stayed silent because I didn't want to ruin the night by saying something that would make things awkward or weird. It was good I didn't, because I didn't know it that time, but it was my last night with Sam in a very long time.

_End of flashback _

*three weeks later*

Sam had been comatose for officially two months now. She would move a finger or a toe once in a while, but nothing major happened. The doctor said he was hopeful that she was going to wake up, but that didn't convince me. Because hope wasn't the same as being sure.

It happened during one of our visits, except I wasn't in the room. I was staring at my usual spot on the ground when I saw a team of doctors and nurses hurry to Sam's room. I shot up from my chair, trying to stop one of them to tell me what was wrong. But they pushed me away and said that I needed to wait and someone would come and talk to me. And then Patrick was shoved out of the room, he looked dumbstruck. I tried to stop him and ask what was wrong, but he didn't say anything and kept walking away. I was so frustrated by that time, I wanted to yell out, "Why isn't anybody saying anything?!" But I couldn't risk having myself banned from the hospital.

An eternity of waiting and pacing swearing later, Sam's doctor came out. He had no emotion on his face, it was blank, which made me want to punch him because I had been waiting for someone to tell me something, but all everyone did was look dumbstruck and push me away.

The doctor came towards me, that blank expression never leaving his face. He stared at me with an emotion I wasn't familiar with, it just made me want to punch him more.

"What happened? Why won't anyone tell me anything? What's wrong with Sam? Is she okay? Tell me!" I asked in one breath.

He sighed heavily and said, "Her eyes fluttered. We think she might be regaining consciousness."

**AN: why do my chapters keep getting worse? This was so rushed. I'm so sorry. Ugh. So what do you think? Did I do a good job at showing Charlie's character development? Was the flashback scene good? Please review guys, it really helps me improve my writing! **

**You know what's next... REVIEW!**


	20. Chapter 19: Almost There

**AN: hi! So I don't really have anything to say except thanks for reviewing and supporting! **

**The song for this chapter is... I WILL WAIT BY MUMFORD & SONS! **

**This is a fortnight after the last chapter. **

**So... Enjoy and review!**

Charlie's PoV:

Sam was waking up. I was sure of it. There had been, as the doctor liked to put it, "major developments" since her eyes fluttered. She would shift and move around, and then she would go still again. I had almost been living in the hospital, just so I could be there when she finally opened her eyes for good. The doctor said that Sam could wake up any day now, and he told me to not worry if she didn't speak when I'd see her. He said since she hadn't used her vocal chords for so long she might have some trouble for a few days, not to mention the acute dryness she was going to experience in her throat. Patrick, Mary Elizabeth and Alice were all very excited, too. They all said things about how they couldn't wait to see Sam awake again and how they had to catch up on everything. Sleeping was a lot easier for me now, because instead of nightmares I had dreams about Sam awake and at my side. I had also improved on my shaving situation by shaving every two to four days. I had grown quite a beard in the last two and a half months, it made me look very different, I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

Patrick, Mary Elizabeth, Alice and I were all happier these days. We spoke to each other more, and breakfast wasn't all that awkward. I had started eating properly again, and they all didn't seem so worried about me anymore. That could be because I had started speaking more, and I usually found myself smiling even if nothing was funny. Just the thought of looking at Sam's beautiful green eyes made my days a lot better than they had been in a while.

Yesterday, I did get a glimpse at her eyes. I was talking to her with her hand in mine, and she squeezed my hand again and her eyes fluttered open again. But this time..._they stayed open_. Her eyes fluttered open again and made my heart speed up again, and my other hand flew up to her cheek and started caressing it. And her eyes opened and rested on rested on me. My heart stopped and my eyes widened and in that moment nothing else in the world mattered other than her eyes. Her eyes, which were open and looking at me. A bomb could drop and I wouldn't care because Sam was awake and she was looking at me. She looked very tired, but I saw her eyes sparkle with recognition. Her mouth opened and she looked like she was trying to say something, and I said, "Sam...what is it? You can do it. Just whisper, you don't have to be too loud."

"Cha-Char-Ch..."she trailed off and her eyes started to droop.

"No, no...Sam... Don't fall asleep again...stay with me. Please," I stopped talking, and focused more on trying not to cry. She had closed her eyes again and she was sleeping again. And I had no idea when I would get to see her eyes next. I called the doctor anyway, and told him about what happened. I was shoved out of the room again so they could conduct more tests on her. Meanwhile, I told everyone else about what happened.

"She said your name?" They asked, looking completely shocked.

"Well...she said half of it," I mumbled. I was really put off because she closed her eyes again. A small, crazy voice in my head started rambling about why she was sleeping so much, and how in the world did she manage to sleep as much as she did. I told it to stop talking because it was giving me a headache.

"But she stayed awake for more than two seconds?" Mary Elizabeth asked.

"She stayed awake for thirteen seconds, actually. I counted," I said. Mary Elizabeth punched the air, Alice looked happy, and Patrick kept mumbling things about eleven seconds being a big improvement.

The doctor came out of the room many hours later. He had that same expression on his face which didn't give away anything and made me want to punch him.

"This is incredible, Sam's recovery has sped up immensely, and her brain activity has also increased. This could mean two things," the doctor said, and I knew what they were.

"First, it could mean that she is waking up. And if she keeps up like this it's only a matter of days before she wakes up for good. Second, it could mean..."

"The surge," I said, and all their eyes turned on me.

"How do you know what that is?" The doctor asked.

"I did my reading," I muttered.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is a bloody surge?" Mary Elizabeth asked rather harshly, and Patrick put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. I think.

"It's something which happens in...please don't take this the wrong way...terminally ill patients," the doctor started, and I felt my gut twist into knots.

"Patients like these...when the surge happens, they get better before they get worse," the doctor finished in a pained tone, as if saying those words was hurting him. I didn't believe it.

"Is there any way of knowing what this is?" Patrick asked.

"No. We'll just have to wait and see."

"And how long do you plan to do that?" I asked.

"Till she wakes up and a few weeks after."

"Okay."

*month 3*

Sam had officially gone into her third month of...sleeping. Nothing special had happened since the doctor explained the surge, and I could see he was getting worried.

I am not an eavesdropper, and I know it's a bad thing to do, but when a doctor is talking about the life of the person you love the most, you can't help it. Apparently he was getting a neurology consult. "Name's Samantha Jameson, twenty seven years old. She was run over by a car on 3rd June, 2002. She got multiple cuts and wounds (AN: I don't know the medical terms...I'm picking some up from Grey's Anatomy so bear with me.) to the face and body, they were deep. The plastics department was able to handle those. Her right arm was almost crushed because of the hard fall she had on it, she broke three ribs, got a crack in the skull, I'm surprised how her brain made it unscathed. She also broke her left foot and had several hairline fractures to her fingers and toes, etcetera. Her fractures are healing well, but it's the arm I'm worried about, and the foot. She had broken the same foot earlier this year. She had to go into surgery the night she was brought in for her torso, a fairly big fragment of the glass had managed to go dangerously close to her vital organs. We were able to remove it without any damage to her organs, but because of the trauma she had gone through she slipped into a coma. She completed her third month today, and for the past four weeks she has been showing signs of movement. Sometimes there is major movement, like last month she woke up and almost said her boyfriend's name before she fell...asleep again. And sometimes there is no improvement for a while, since last month nothing special has happened. I'm starting to worry. There is brain activity but it keeps fluctuating. What do you think?"

I had known that she was badly injured, but I didn't know they were to this extent. I was surprised as to how I had missed the fragment of glass. The other doctor looked thoughtful and studied Sam's scans. He said some long medical terms and then proceeded to say, "I have some guesses, but I think we should give her another month before we decide to tell her...family, boyfriend? Who's with her?"

"The boyfriend. He has been going crazy worried, really. I don't know what happened but apparently they had a fight with her parents, so he's with her. Her parents visit sometimes but he doesn't let them stay for long, especially the dad."

"Okay. I need a..." He told him some more tests and scans that needed to be done, and I didn't stay to hear the rest of it. I was feeling queasy and unwell, so I told my friends I was going back to the guest house. I guess I should explain the guest house. We had been staying at the hotel for two and a half months, and as hospitable as they were, we were all getting uncomfortable there. So we looked around and found a nice, big and open guest house. It had a lot of windows, which allowed lots of sunlight to enter. It was one of the main reasons we rented that house. We all knew Sam loved the sun and outdoors, and we wanted her to have that when she was released from the hospital.

I drove to the guest house and walked up to my room- which hopefully I was going to share with Sam very, very soon- and fell asleep.

*two days later*

When we arrived at the hospital, I got a panic attack. The reason I got a panic was that doctors were coming in and out of Sam's room and the nurses were going in with machines and it seemed to me that either something had gone severely wrong, or something had gone amazingly right. I started to get hopeful at my second thought. Patrick and Mary Elizabeth tried to stop them and ask what was wrong, but I knew that the only answer they were going to get would be to get out of the way and that someone would come and speak to them soon.

That's exactly what happened.

I wasn't sure what I felt about it all since it could mean anything. But I tried to keep the suffocating dread and the bad thoughts at bay as I waited for someone to tell me what was happening. I needed to stay calm for whatever the doctor had to tell me. I had to be prepared. The minor setback being I didn't know what to prepare for. I decided on doing my best to not go hysterical and faint, and trying to keep calm.

The doctor came out with a bunch of other people in lab coats, who soon walked away. I saw him glance towards our group and he started walking towards us. He had that same "not giving anything away" look on his face, and my hand started twitching.

"What is it? What's all he panic about?" Patrick asked.

"Is Sam alright?" Alice asked. Mary Elizabeth and I stayed silent.

"Yes." He said monotonously.

"Then what's with all these people running in and out of her room?" Patrick asked again. Mary Elizabeth and I still stayed silent. I would lose balance if I tried to speak.

"Sam just woke up. For real."

**AN: hahahahahaa! You didn't see that coming, did ya? So I have a question for you...please answer!**

**SHOULD THE NEXT CHAPTER BE IN SAM'S POV OR CHARLIE'S? **

**You know what's next... REVIEW AND ANSWER THE QUESTION! THE DIRECTION OF THE STORY IS NOW IN YOUR HANDS!**


	21. Chapter 20:The Light After The Darkness

**AN: this is the big chapter! So, this will be Sam's PoV first...then I'll decide if I want to write Charlie too. So as of this author's note, I don't know if there will be Charlie's PoV. Kay?**

**The song for this chapter is... ENTWINED BY TIM MYERS! Love this song. Love it. **

Sam's PoV:

I was swimming in the dark. I wasn't even sure if I was swimming, but I was sure I was moving. I was looking for an out, some way to escape the darkness that had imprisoned me for who knows how long. It had started out as coming out of a deep sleep, and trying to figure out why I couldn't see. And after a while I remembered the accident. I remembered being in indescribable pain, and feeling like my whole body was on fire, I remembered a point where I couldn't feel the pain anymore, and I remembered that it was a very bad thing. I had gone into shock. I remembered telling myself to feel myself burn, to not go into shock no matter how much it reduced the pain, and I remembered being set on fire again. I remembered all the things Charlie told me while trying to keep me from closing my eyes, and how bad I wanted them to come true. And I remembered the commotion around me as doctors tried to keep me alive. And the last memory I had before the darkness was seeing somebody inject something into my system, and starting to feel drowsy, and eventually sleep winning over. Everything after that was pitch black darkness. I don't remember how exactly my brain started working again, it was a point when I was asleep and then the moment passed and I became aware of my existence. After that it was a fight against the infinite darkness that surrounded me, fighting for a way out. I remembered trying to open my eyes, applying so much force that I moved some other part of my body. And somebody was talking to me, and they stopped and screamed. And then it was black again. And everyday I heard that somebody talk to me, I had no idea what they were saying, or if they were talking at all, the idea of someone being there was comforting, and it gave me support to fight the darkness. And I remembered coming so close, my eyes almost opened, and someone with curly hair was on the chair beside my bed...Patrick. And the darkness came over me again. The time after that was probably the hardest, because I felt myself going deeper, and I felt myself losing awareness of my existence. I fought as hard as I could, as I could to not slip in again. I fought too hard, and that was good. I came out again, and forced the darkness to stay away. And there he was. His eyes were wide, and I was vaguely aware of our entwined hands and his other hand caressing my cheek, and I tried to absorb his every feature. His blue eyes, which were completely contrary to what I was used to; sullen, dark, desperate, and swollen. He had been crying a lot, and I didn't want to know how long had it been since he last slept. He had lost weight, was he not eating properly? His hair were shaggy and all over the place, but not in the familiar "Charlie" way that I was used to and made me feel at home, it was something else completely. I hated to think that I was the reason all this happened to him, but it was true. I tried to say his name, and that was when I knew that I had been asleep for a long time. I knew because my throat burned and I couldn't speak. I tried so hard, and he seemed to notice that, because he told me, "Sam...what is it? You can do it. Just whisper, you don't have to be too loud."

I couldn't do it. I couldn't say the rest of his name. I started to feel the darkness come back and I stopped at my third attempt to say "Charlie," and tried to make the darkness go away again. But I was too tired to give a decent fight, and my eyes closed again.

After that I fought harder than ever, because I was fighting for a new reason. I was fighting to see Charlie again. I kept myself from going in deeper, and tried to open my eyes. It was hard. But my need to wake up had escalated since I saw his face. I couldn't bear to see him the way he looked, and to think he was this way for as long as I was gone didn't sit well with me.

Finally, it happened. I managed to make the darkness go away, and I managed to make it go away for good. I didn't know how I knew it was gone, I just did. I was in a white room, it was too white. I was connected to monitor and there was a tube shoved down my mouth. I had been intubated, the tube had been helping me breathe, or rather it had been breathing for me. I don't think I really wanted to know. There were doctors and nurses everywhere, somebody was taking my blood, somebody was ordering a scan, somebody was checking me up. I couldn't see very well, and the terrible dryness and burning in my throat was pretty damn distracting. I didn't bother trying to speak because of the same reason. A nurse handed me a glass of water and I chugged it down in a matter of seconds.

The scans and the tests took a couple of hours, and soon I was back in my room. A friendly looking nurse, the one who gave me water, helped me sit up. I was staring at the door, I realised I was looking for Charlie. Apparently the nurse caught that because she said, "Visiting hours will begin shortly, your friends will arrive soon." I gave her a look and hoped it would carry my question across.

She looked confused at first, and soon realisation washed over her face. "Oh, are you wondering if they visited regularly? Yes, they've been coming since three months. Today is August 5th. Though there was one boy who always stayed longer, if you don't mind me asking, is he your boyfriend? Black hair, blue eyes?" I nodded, not being able to keep the smile off my face.

I played with the edge of the sheets and drank more water, somehow I got so lost I didn't hear the click of the door when it opened. It was so quiet.

Something made me look up, I wasn't sure what. I gasped loudly and the heart monitor started beeping faster, which was very embarrassing. But Charlie didn't seem to care, he just stared at me as if I wasn't real. Holding his gaze, I gulped down some more water and whispered hoarsely, "Hi..."

That seemed to shake him out of his daze as his face morphed into a happy grin, and he whispered, even though he didn't have to, he just whispered. "Hi..." And he took a seat on the chair beside my bed. The action seemed to come naturally to him, as if he had been doing it for a long time. I wasn't wrong. We stared into each other's eyes. It was such a simple thing to do, something we used to do all the time three months back. But right now it made me feel like a teenager who caught her crush staring at her, and it made me feel like the happiest person in the world.

He was sitting on my good arm's side, which was great. I moved that hand and placed it on the back of his neck, and pulled him closer. I licked my lips so they wouldn't feel so dry. We were both leaning in, and soon our faces were just centimetres away from each other, our noses touching. I wasn't sure who closed the distance first, but when we did there were fireworks. I know that was the cheesiest way I could describe a kiss, but when you kiss the love of your life after spending three months in a coma, that's exactly how it feels. It wasn't an intense make out, and it wasn't filled with lust or sadness or anything. It was just a kiss, a kiss with which we let each other know that we missed each other and the time we spent apart hurt. Physically and emotionally. Our mouths fell apart, and I touched my forehead to his, and we stayed like that for a while. After that we just held hands and enjoyed finally being with each other after a long struggle. I didn't realise that visiting hours were almost over till the rest of my friends came bursting in, crying and laughing at the same time. It sent a stab of pain to my heart when I saw their swollen eyes, especially Patrick, who looked almost hysterical with happiness and relief.

"Oh my god! Sam, how are you?" Alice and Mary Elizabeth sobbed.

I gave Charlie a meaningful look and he said, "She's okay. She can't speak properly right now, but it's okay. That'll be fine in a couple of days." I smiled at him in gratitude, and he returned it. I noticed Patrick was particularly silent, but I wasn't one to talk since the only word I'd said since I woke up was "hi." They both walked closer and hugged me, careful to not touch my broken arm. They moved away so I could see Patrick. He was still standing at the door and staring at me with wet eyes. I waved at him in a "hey" kind of way and smiled tentatively. He hugged me gently and whispered, "I missed you so much, Sam. If you ever do this to us again, I'll kill you."

I whispered a weak "okay." They all said things about how much they missed me and how worried they were, and I got several more death threats. I grinned and laughed silently, nodding whenever required. Charlie stayed quiet at my side, looking happier than I had ever seen him, and never letting go of my hand. They did all the talking, but it was okay, because it made things seem more normal. Like Patrick and Mary Elizabeth arguing, Alice trying to be the mature one and trying to stop them, and Charlie just silently sitting beside me and smiling like an idiot, looking all adorable like a little puppy. It just made me love him more. I was kind of sad when it was time for them to go, but they all promised they would come back tomorrow and stay the whole time, that made me feel better. Charlie stayed with me, he could stay since I was out of intensive care and had been shifted to a regular room. Regular being a relative term... Charlie had gone all out by getting me one of those fancy suites. I tried to convince him to get me a simple room, but he said he wanted to give me the best he could get. After controlling my girl emotions I gave him a note asking him to stop being the perfect boyfriend, the one who gets the girl suites and diamond necklaces and everything. He just looked cute and embarrassed. Later that day, I gave him another note to tell me what happened while I was out. Apparently, a lot had happened.

"Well...for starters your mom and I are pretty close now, we kind of leaned on each other for support when...you know. And I got very angry at...your stepfather, I sort of lost control the night, um...we brought you in, so we're not on very good terms right now. He apologised for doing what he did, and I just didn't know what to say to that. I think that was because I was too angry and sad to get my mind to work, so I kept quiet. We haven't really talked to each other since then. They came to visit you every other day, those days were...awkward. I don't know if you want to know this, but I forgot to shave for a while and I grew a bit of a beard, I cut it off though. Everyone thought I was starving myself, which, for the record, I was not. I'm perfectly healthy and not starving, see?" He said and pointed at himself. He had a three or four day stubble, and he had lost a lot of weight. I raised my eyebrow challenging his beliefs.

"No? But... I'm fine!" He whined like a three year old.

I cleared my throat and tried to speak again, it was slightly better than last time. "Sure... I...believe you." He frowned but I could see the smile in his eyes, and two seconds later we both burst out laughing.

The laughter had died out, and the joke was over, but neither of us could stop smiling. Charlie's smile turned sad after a few moments, which made my own smile falter.

I spoke again, "What is...it?"

"Nothing." I glared at him. It was my deluxe "don't-make-me-talk-so-much-to-get-you-to-tell-the -truth-or-I'll-kill-you" glare.

"It's nothing...I missed you. I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"For what?" I croaked.

"For not stopping you. You were so upset that night, I should have...I should have done something."

I sighed and grabbed the notepad and scribbled something on it. It said, "It's not your fault, so shut up and stop blaming yourself. This one's on me, I shouldn't have run out like I did. And anyway, it's done now. I have slept so much I don't think I'll ever be able to close my eyes again, I have broken enough bones for a lifetime, and now I'm here. With you. After three fucking months. So you better not spoil this for me, okay?" I shoved the note at him and he read it quickly, chuckling at the end.

"Okay. I won't." I smiled at him, and he leaned in to kiss me. This one lasted a lot longer than the one earlier, but it still wasn't an intense make out. Though I really wanted it to be. Charlie was very careful with me, running his hand up and down my good arm with a feather light touch, and his other hand held me to his mouth gently but firmly, as if he was worried that I might slip away again. I almost moved my bad arm to his hair, but I remembered the plaster in time and stopped myself. This was going to take some time to get used to.

He broke the kiss off, and I stopped myself from pouting. Kissing him was different now, I valued his lips moving against mine a lot more than I did before, and I cherished it. And I never wanted to stop. He touched his forehead to mine and stayed there, his hand going up into my hair.

I whispered the words for the first time in three months, "I love you, Charlie."

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine and whispered, "I love you, too, Sam." And the kissing commenced again. It wasn't until a nurse cleared her throat loudly after twenty minutes when we broke off, blushing furiously. She said it was time for my pain medicines which might make me drowsy, and Charlie's face contorted into worry. The nurse told him, "Don't worry, she'll wake up." I squeezed his hand reassuringly and kissed him again. I moved my lips to his ear and whispered, "Don't worry." He kissed my cheek and nodded. The nurse injected the stuff through my I.V and I started feeling sleepy. The last thing I remembered seeing was Charlie's warm smile.

_*few days later* _

In the last few days I felt more alive than in any moment from my life. Even though I had quite a lot of setbacks, like not being able to walk, and not being able to move one arm, I was thankful that I was alive. That I was awake. And it made me appreciate things more. And I was happy about that. I was speaking again, which was a relief since talking through looks and notes was something you couldn't do for more than a certain period of time. A certain period of time not being more than two or three days. Charlie, Patrick, Alice and Mary Elizabeth helped me become confident with talking again. Charlie even suggested a speech therapist, and we gave him a big fat "NO." In response he muttered, "I'm just trying to help."

The doctor said my fractures were pretty much healed, and that my plasters would be off in the next week or two. And then my physical therapy would start, to help me walk and move my bad arm. He said I would be given exercises that I would have to do regularly if I wanted to make a quick recovery. I wanted to make a quick recovery.

Charlie stayed with me every night since I woke up, he only went in the morning to clean himself up. He told me they'd all moved out of the hotel and rented a guest house. He said I'd like it because there were a lot of windows and a lot of sunlight. We had turned into one of those couples who couldn't keep themselves off of each other. We were kissing and almost-making-out nearly all the time, if not that we were usually holding hands. It had come to a point where we were in some kind of physical contact almost all the time, and neither of us said anything about it or objected, because it helped both of us heal. I could see the damage all this had done to him in his every move, and I wasn't any different. I was reminded of this fact every time I saw the scar running from my stomach to my left side. I knew it would fade with time, but what I didn't know was how long it would take us to move on and re-start our lives.

We were both changed people. We just needed to figure out if the change was good or bad.

**AN: she's back! I am back in my comfort zone. The last few chapters were a real challenge for me as a writer, I can't write Charlie or anyone else in the gang as good as I can write Sam. So to speed up updates, I'll be posting more Sam. Ahh I'm leaving in 8 days! I'll try to post as many chapters as I possibly can, okay? Even with packing and everything. **

**You know what's next... REVIEW!**


	22. Chapter 21: Recovery

**AN: so guys this is going to be one of the last updates in a while, since I'm leaving in a couple of days...so you should expect the next chapter to be updated sometime in August. Okay? Or the chapter next to that.**

**The song for this chapter is... AMSTERDAM BY IMAGINE DRAGONS! I love them so much. Love them. **

**This is about a month after the last chapter.**

**Enjoy and review/follow/favourite (they're as important)!**

Sam's PoV:

I had been discharged from the hospital three weeks back, and finally had been wheeled out of the building after three long months. As soon as my wheelchair went out the door, the fresh air hit me like a bouquet of flowers brushing against my face, and I found myself taking in a deep breath trying to take in as much of it as I could. Charlie saw me doing that and kissed my cheek while smiling widely. He had been acting very differently since I woke up. He was never very expressive with his feelings, and it usually took a lot of work to get him to say how he felt. But these days all he had been doing was telling me he loved me and showering me with kisses on the cheek or the lips. I didn't mind it at all at first, but then it just started feeling weird and out of character. It just that Charlie was never that open about his feelings, and even though it bothered me before, it made every romantic gesture even more special. And it wasn't like he had to do and say all these things to make sure I knew he loved me. I had no doubt about it, I knew how much he loved me and I didn't need the "I love you's" or the kisses to show me he did. And maybe if his eyes didn't look so sad and traumatised I would've actually not minded it as much as I did. But I couldn't help but feel like he was doing it because of what happened. I didn't say anything about it to him, but I planned to once I got better.

We were all at the doctor's place, where I had my therapy done, to get a review. Getting a review meant I was supposed to do all the exercises I was told to do and then do the tasks the doctor gave me to see if I had improved or not. Charlie, Mary Elizabeth, Patrick, and Alice were all very supportive through the whole time, especially the first week. During the day they helped me down to the living room of the guest house, and then I would do the exercises there with them encouraging me and everything, and when I had a difficulty or a problem, they would do everything in their power to help me. At night I would do the exercises I had to do before bedtime and Charlie would help me through them. He didn't even say anything when I yelled at him for being too pushy, he just said sorry. I felt bad after that because he wasn't actually being pushy at all, he was just giving me support, and I only yelled at him because I was frustrated because it hurt when I moved my arm and my legs. I tried to hide it from everyone, how frustrated I was, because I didn't want to cause more trouble than I already had in the past three months. If not for me, all this never would have happened, Charlie wouldn't have changed like he did, and everyone else wouldn't have had to go through all this. Mary Elizabeth, Patrick and Alice were supposed to leave two weeks back, but they canceled their flights, asked for an extended leave from their bosses and basically risked their jobs to be here, even when I insisted that they should go back and that I'd be fine.

The doctor told me to do ten repetitions of the exercises he'd given, and then lift a bag pack with my bad arm and sling it over my back without dropping it ("But no pressure," he added as an afterthought). I had been stuck at this task for as long I've had these sessions, and today I wasn't feeling any more hopeful. I stared nervously at the bag, and I felt a pair of familiar lips come over to my ear. "It's okay, Sam. You can do it," Charlie said with so much confidence, I almost believed him. But then I remembered how many times I had dropped the bag in previous sessions, and my spirit deflated. I turned around to face him and whispered, "Say it again, please."

He held my face in his hands and said, "Sam, you can do this. I know for sure you can." I sucked in a breath and nodded. Charlie held me by my waist as I reached out to pick the bag up. My fingers tightened around the strap and I applied force to lift it up. I reached half way without any errors, and I started to become hopeful, and right then I fumbled and almost dropped it. Talk about speaking too soon. Charlie started whispering in my ear again and I took it back all the way and slung it over my back, grinning triumphantly. Charlie kissed my cheek, and for a moment I forgot about his change in behaviour and enjoyed the moment.

The doctor smiled and said, "That's a great start. We will move on to some light weights next time, and don't forget the walking exercises we did today. If you keep this speed up, you'll be walking and running in no time."

The ride back to the guest house was uneventful apart from me telling everyone how the session went. They were all very happy, and they all said things about how I was going to be walking and running around like I did before. After that we just pretended that none of this had ever happened and we tried to be normal. We talked about things that we used to talk about, and we did things we used to do. I don't know why we did this, maybe it was an attempt to try and move on from what happened. Well, all of us except Charlie, who didn't talk and stared out the window with his arm around me and his thumb making circles at my waist. Staying quiet was normal, but not being a part of the conversation and not paying attention was just wildly out of character. He never zoned out during parties or anything, even in school. I don't know what was wrong with him, I just hoped it wasn't about me.

*later that night*

"Charlie?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to try and do the walking thing," I said nervously.

"Oh, okay. How can I help?" He asked.

"Just help me get up, and hold me till I tell you, okay?"

"Okay," he said and walked towards my side of the bed. He helped me sit up and put my feet on the floor, and held me to give support.

I looked at him and he said, "Ready?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. He helped me get up, and held on tightly when my knees gave out till I got my balance back. I stood still for a few minutes till I felt confident with standing, and then told Charlie to let go. He hesitated but released me, and I put one foot after another. Charlie stayed close behind me, in case I lost balance, and muttered encouragements to keep me moving. I had taken about four steps when I just fell. I forgot how to make myself stand and I fell, just like that. Charlie caught me and brought me back to the bed, where I started crying.

He wiped the tears off my face and asked, "Sam, what's wrong? Why are you crying? You did great-"

I stopped him, "Don't say that! That was terrible! Don't lie to me, Charlie. I can't even walk two feet without stumbling or falling down. It's been one month! I don't..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say, and kept crying. He sat down next to me and engulfed me in his arms, and held me tightly.

"No, no, Sam. I'm not lying to you. That was great, you've made so much progress, you're doing amazing. It's going to take some time but...you'll be fine! We'll get over this, I promise...we'll do it together."

I let his words sink in. _Together._ I sighed and nodded, and pulled him down for a kiss. He kissed me back, and I felt the fire ignite inside me again. I was consumed with want...need. I pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. I pulled him back at the bed and tightened my hold on him. His lips moved to my neck and peppered kisses on every bit of skin he could find, and I sighed with pleasure. He stopped at the spot behind my ear and sighed heavily, and I shivered involuntarily.

"We-we shouldn't," he whispered.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, I was. Didn't he want me the way I wanted him?

"Why not? You...you don't want to...?" I whispered weakly, putting no effort to hide the hurt in my voice.

He pulled away from my neck and came closer to my face, and said, "No, of course I want to! I want to do this...so bad, really. I just don't want to hurt you, or make you uncomfortable. I know how stressful it has been for you, I don't want to make it worse."

"You won't make anything worse for me, Charlie. And when it comes to stress, you'll help me forget about it...right?" I asked hopefully.

He gaze fell from my face and to the floor, and he shook his head in defeat. "Can we please wait? I'm not...I don't..."

I sighed in frustration and said, "This is about the accident, isn't it?"

"What?"

"The wait...it's because of the accident, right? Charlie, you have to move on! I mean, I know it's hard and everything but you have to try," I said.

He put his head in his hands and made the most frustrated noise I had ever heard him make. And then he said, "I'm trying, Sam. I'm trying so hard. I just need some time. I know this hasn't been easy for you, not having sex for nearly four months and everything, but it hasn't been easy for me either. I'm trying to put myself back together, and I'm trying to do it fast, I just need a little time."

I immediately felt guilty for pushing him. I needed to understand how terrible this must've been for him. I put my hand of his back and made circles, and said, "I'm sorry, Charlie. I understand, and it's okay. I know all this was probably harder for you than it was for me, and I know it takes time to move on from things like this. It's okay. We can...we can wait."

He made that noise again and said, "But it's not okay. I'm supposed to help you get through this terrible thing and I'm just sitting here. How can I help you when I can't even help myself? I keep trying to forget what that doctor said to me, but I just...it keeps coming back. It's in my dreams, it's there when I'm awake. I'm sorry."

"No, don't say sorry. What did the doctor say to you?"

I heard a sniffle. I thought my ears were buzzing but then I really heard a sniffle. And I felt Charlie's back shake under my hand. He was crying.

"He-he told me...the night it happened...he told me...to be prep-prepared for the worst. He-he said that you might not...he said that you may not wake up, and I was so scared...I thought I was going to lose you forever. And then when you squeezed my hand and when your eyes fluttered open...he said that it meant two things. Either you were waking up...or it was-it was the surge."

I didn't realise I was crying too, and I said, "What's the surge?"

"It's-it's something that happens to...terminally ill patients. They get this-this final surge of energy before they...they-they get better before they get worse. And...oh god... And...and he asked me...since you weren't-you weren't fit enough to give a..." He stopped, and started crying heavily.

I hugged him and rubbed his back while he held me with a death grip, as if he was afraid that if he let go, I'd go away again. It hurt me so much to see him that way, it made me feel like the most horrible person on the planet. I don't think I can ever describe how terrible that moment was. Probably one of the worst of my life.

"Shhh... Don't say it, I don't want to know if it hurts you like this," I whispered.

"Promise me...promise me you'll never leave me again," he said, and his voice cracked on 'leave.'

"I promise I will never leave you. I'm right here, and I am not going anywhere."

"Okay. Thank you," he whispered.

I broke the embrace and held his face in my hands. "I love you," I told him firmly, looking him in the eyes.

"I love you, too."

We lay down together in each others' arms, and we held each other silently for a long time. And soon enough, we fell asleep the same way. And it was that simple.

**AN: there you have it. It was really short, I know, but I don't have time these days. It has been very busy. I just want you all to know that this may be the last update before the one in August, but I might find time to write a short chapter, so I'm not promising anything. **

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**You know what's next...REVIEW!**


	23. Chapter 22: Closure

**AN: hey guys! Finally an update! Well, boarding school has been amazing...and I'm having a great time there! But since I don't have much time I will get on with this incredibly short chapter and not bore you with my adventures there. **

**The song for this chapter is...PROOF BY PARAMORE! **

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

Two weeks had passed since Charlie and I had that talk. I was moving a little better, and walking was a little easier, and I could do it for a lot longer than before. I had managed to convince everyone to go back because I was fine, and they had seriously overstayed and I didn't want them to risk their jobs and everything for me. So I was busy helping them pack for their flight day after tomorrow. It was a funny feeling, because I had gotten used to them being around, and I would be lying if I say that I hadn't shed a couple of tears for the same reason.

My mom and Paul came to see me yesterday. How they found the address of the guest house despite Charlie's security measures to keep away all unwanted company (paparazzi, etcetera), I don't know, and I never asked. It was very awkward, believe me. When the doorbell rang, we expected it to be the pizza delivery guy or something, but when Mary Elizabeth opened the door and started fuming, we knew it couldn't be the pizza delivery guy. I could see there were two people standing, but I couldn't see who they were. Mary Elizabeth just stood there, staring at them. She then realised that they were standing at the door and moved aside to let them in. My parents walked in, nervously looking around the house, and I felt Charlie stiffen beside me. I put my hand on his thigh and gave his furious looking face a look that meant, "calm down. It's okay." He sighed and nodded. They turned to look at me and my mom started crying and mumbling things like, "Oh my goodness! You're okay! Oh thank you God! Thank you!" And Paul just stood there looking awkward.

I stood up, followed by Charlie and said, "Um...hi mom. What...are you doing here...?"

Paul chimed in, "I told you this was a bad idea. They don't even-"

"Paul, shut up." I cut him short coldly.

"I came to see you, Sam! I was so worried about you, I knew Charlie has been there with you every step of the way but you know me. I know you all will be leaving soon, given everything that happened I know you wouldn't want to stay a second longer. I just wanted to see you. I hope that's okay?" She said.

"Yeah, sure. So...do you guys want to...sit?" I asked awkwardly.

"No, thank you, Sam. I think we will be leaving now, I wouldn't want to overextend our visit."

"So...you came here for no reason but to say hi?" I asked, confused.

"No, I came to give you this," she said and took out a photo frame from her purse, the same one Charlie and I were looking at that night. I took it from her hands. "Why are you...?"

"Sam, I know that after everything that happened, you wouldn't want to see us again, and I completely understand that. I am giving this to you so that I know that even if I can't see you, you will remember me and hopefully for the good things that I did." She said all this without shedding a single tear, and I just stood there staring wide eyed at her.

Then she said, "We'll get going now. I love you Sam, never doubt that. Okay...well, goodbye." With that she walked out the door and Paul followed soon after. And I just stood there trying to process what just happened.

"Are you alright, Sam?" Charlie asked with concern.

"Yeah...uh...I'm fine, Charlie. Don't worry."

But the truth was that I wasn't fine. I didn't know what I was.

*Later that night*

I laying in bed with Charlie, who was playing with my hair and staring at the photo frame in my hands. That's what we both had been doing for the past half hour trying to figure out why my mom did this.

"Maybe she thinks you're still angry with her," Charlie suggested.

"But I'm not! She didn't even do anything, Charlie. I don't understand. It's like she thinks today will be the last time we ever see each other. Well, I'm not saying I'll be vacationing in Pittsburgh anytime soon but I will come to see her," I said.

"I don't know, Sam. But I think you should let her be for a while, so that she can calm down and recover. She's not thinking right, so don't worry. It'll be alright," he said. I sighed and turned over so my head was buried in his neck, and he wrapped his arms around me a little tighter.

It was quiet for a while. "When do you want to go home?" I asked him.

"I could go tomorrow. Whenever you're ready, we'll leave."

"Next week?"

"Okay, I'll book the tickets tomorrow," he said.

I had expected the decision to go home to be very big and grand, so it surprised me how simple it was to make the choice. But in any case, I was looking forward to going home. In fact, any place but here.

**AN: I'm sorry for this pathetic chapter, but I had to update. The next update will be sometime at the end of September, but if I find time I'll update sooner. So bye now!**

**You know what's next... REVIEW!**


	24. Chapter 23: Goodbye

**AN: new chapter folks! So, I'm very excited for what's about to happen next in the story, but we will all have to be patient because a lot of chapters will lead to it and Sam and Charlie have to get over a lot of their current troubles to get there. And I posted a one shot songfic yesterday, called "Make It Feel Like The First Time," so please check that out! Okay...that's enough shameless self promotion. **

**Since I am impatient and crazy, I won't show anymore Pittsburgh. I'm sending everyone home in this chapter and next chapter onwards my full attention will go back to Sam and Charlie's character and relationship development. And hopefully by the 30th chapter (or, if possible, earlier) there will be a lot going on. Hopefully. But for now I'm just going with the flow. Yeah. **

**The song for the chapter is... HOME BY PHILIP PHILIPS! I love this song. **

Sam's PoV:

It was time to say bye. Not just to my parents and friends, but also to the horrible things that happened here. I did everything in my power, and I could see Charlie was too, to leave everything behind. Letting go of the accident wasn't all that hard, but trying to let go of what it did to us just seemed impossible. Every time I tried to forget, images of the scars on my body came flashing in my head. And as much as I tried not to, I kept thinking that I couldn't leave those scars behind, they were going to stay with me for the rest of my life whether I liked it or not. It was weird, how much the scars bothered me. Especially the big one on my stomach. I knew Charlie was noticing my change in behaviour, because I never let him touch that part whenever we were...getting intimate. Though I was grateful that he didn't say anything about it, because I wasn't sure if I could handle it. We never went "all the way" but I knew I couldn't run away from this forever, and we would have sex eventually, we both knew we wanted to. And I couldn't help but think that he would think of the scar as something hideous, even though I knew he was too good hearted to do that. I just wasn't ready to accept their presence, I wanted them to go away. I thought about this at the airport while my friends said bye to each other and said that we would talk to each other at least once a week, and I watched them giving hugs and handshakes and shedding tears. As I did that, I felt thankful for having friends like them, because if not for them, I would not have been able to get out of that mess. I wouldn't have been able to recover and move on (mostly) from this. I told them this and they said that they would always be there for me, no matter what, and we hugged. It was all quite emotional really, because I was just so used to them being around, but in the end it was okay, because things were finally going back to normal. It was slow, but there was progress. And for now, that was enough.

"Take care of yourself, Sam. I'll miss you," Patrick said one last time when the boarding call for his flight was announced.

"You too, Patrick. I'll miss you, too," I said and hugged him tightly.

He turned to Charlie, "You take care of my sister, okay? Don't let her get hurt. Make her as happy as you always do."

Charlie hugged Patrick and said, "Don't worry. I will."

"Thank you for coming back, Charlie," Patrick said, holding him by the shoulders.

Charlie looked down and smiled, and said, "Now that I think about it, I never should've left." I saw him glance at me when he was saying that, and that glance was enough to tell me what he really meant, and a stupidly wide grin spread across my face without my permission. I pretended to not notice the winks Alice and Mary Elizabeth were sending my way, and I hugged Patrick again, telling him to have a safe flight and to take care of himself. He kissed my cheek and hugged everyone again, and walked away to his departure gate. I looked at the flight timings again, only half an hour left till Mary Elizabeth and Alice's flight, and then they would be gone too. And then it would be only me and Charlie. We made the most of that half hour, we recalled memories, which were now stories, and we laughed and enjoyed being there with each other. And before we knew it their boarding call was announced, and it was time to say goodbye.

Alice came up first, "Bye Sam, I'll miss you. Take care of yourself, okay? And him, too," she said pointing at Charlie, who smiled. She then hugged me and whispered in my ear, "He needs you."

I hugged her back and whispered, tears stinging my eyes, "I need him, too." She pulled away and wiped the tears off my face, and I did the same to her.

She then went to Charlie, whose eyes looked wet, and lightly swatted his face which made him frown. "Just why, if you would explain, are you crying?"

"I'm not crying, Alice," he replied.

"Shut up. Now I want you to take care of yourself, right? And your girlfriend too, treat her good, okay?" She instructed. I don't know why, but it made me smile.

"Yes, I will. Any other instructions, ma'am?" He joked and got a slap to his arm.

Alice then hugged him and he hugged her back. He smiled when she told him something. She pulled away and went to the side to wait for Mary Elizabeth to bid us bye.

She first came up to me and hugged me without saying anything. While hugging me, she said a lot of things I'm sure she had been keeping in for a very long time. She told me that she wanted to be honest with me before she left. She said she felt awful when the accident happened, and that time was nothing short of hell for her, and she felt very bad that I had to go through what I did. She said she was sorry for convincing me to come to Pittsburgh, and she regretted doing it. I felt her shake a little, she was crying. I told her she shouldn't be sorry, because what happened here could've happened anywhere, and it wasn't her fault and she couldn't have done anything to stop or undo it. I told her that I loved her and I told her to be safe and take care of herself.

"Take care, Sam. I love you," she said and pulled away, wiping her eyes.

She walked over to Charlie and said, "I'm sorry, Charlie. I'm sorry you almost lost Sam, and I'm sorry you had to hear all those things the doctor told you, and I'm sorry all this ever happened in the first place. You didn't deserve this, neither did Sam, neither did Alice, neither did Patrick. I want you to remember something: you're an amazingly brave man, and you deserve every good thing in the world. And believe me when I say, nobody can handle you except for Sam, so I want you to take good care of her. I want you to tell her you love her, because she deserves it. And I want you both to be happy with each other, because there's no one else in this world you both could've ended up with. Be there for her, okay? Because I've seen it, together you both can go through anything and survive."

She was crying hard by the time she finished talking, so was I, so was Charlie, and so was Alice. I walked to her and grabbed her in a tight embrace, and Charlie hugged both of us. Even Alice joined in. Mary Elizabeth whispered to all of us, right in that embrace, right in that airport, "You're the best friends I've ever had." She said that, in that embrace, and I knew I was home. They were my home. They were the people I could come back to for comfort after a hard day at work, they were the ones I could expect to listen when I had a good day to tell them about. They were the ones I could feel alive with, they were my family. My real family. And I knew they would be there for me no matter what. And I knew they knew I would be there for them too, no matter what.

We broke off and they both walked away to their gate waving to us, and we waved back.

And the best part was...our faces wore nothing but honest and happy smiles.

**AN: yay they're all home! And this was pathetic and short. I wasn't sure what to do, okay? It had to mean something, and while working on that I forgot about the length of the chapter, and now it seems rushed. Sorry about that. So...in the next chapter Charlie and Sam will be back in their New York apartment, and will face new and unexpected challenges. **

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**Really. What is this, a TV show? I'm all like, "next time on YEARS LATER: Charlie and Sam return to their New York apartment, and face new and unexpected challenges. Expect nothing. Keep watching...YEARS LATER." I'm sorry I just had to do this. Anyway...**

**You know what's next...REVIEW!**


	25. Chapter 24: Home

**AN: new chapter! You know something happened to the fanfiction site. Everywhere I clicked access was denied, and I was just like, "WTF." Anyway...this will probably be a very short chapter (hopefully I can make it longer) and it'll be a filler chapter stuffed with fluff. It'll be so fluffy you'll all probably explode or something. That fluffy. Yeah. **

**The song for this chapter is... KISS ME BY ED SHEERAN! **

Sam's PoV:

Walking back into the cozy apartment after nearly five months was crazy. Not that I didn't like it, I can't even begin to describe how happy I was to be back home, even though it was a little dusty. I rushed upstairs to the bedroom to start unpacking and Charlie chuckled behind me.

"I heard that!" I yelled as I ran towards the room.

"Heard what?"

"You were laughing at me."

"I wasn't."

"Whatever," I said and started dumping my clothes into the cupboard.

It wasn't until two or three hours later that I finished unpacking. And by the time I did I was exhausted. I had to buy new clothes and suitcases back in Pittsburgh, I had packed clothes for only two or three weeks, assuming that in the worst case scenario they would last for a month. I had definitely not anticipated the coma and the therapy.

I dragged myself back to the living room where Charlie was watching television, his suitcases lying in the corner, forgotten.

"Aren't you going to unpack?" I asked as I sat down on the sofa opposite him.

"I will," he replied while watching me put my feet up in the couch.

"You don't seem to be unpacking right now."

"I don't feel like unpacking right now," he said and put his own feet up on the couch, so that we were facing each other and our toes were almost touching.

"Why not?"

"Because I can unpack later," he said, smiling that cute and mischievous smile he did when he was teasing me. I knew he was replying like that to rile me up, but I wasn't going to let him win.

"Why can't you unpack now?"

"Because I'm home now, and I'll be home for a very long time, so I can unpack whenever I want. Which is not now," he said, still smiling and leaned forward.

"But wouldn't it make more sense to unpack now? You know, so that you're free of the...burden?"

He smiled wider and leaned forward a little more. "I don't consider unpacking as a burden."

"But you're just being lazy here. You could just unpack now and be free of this and then you could be doing whatever you want to do for the rest of your existence," I said and mentally slapped myself. I think I went a little too far.

He chuckled a little and said, "But right now I am doing what I want to do. And I'm having so much fun, so I don't see why I should stop doing it for something as boring as unpacking."

I smirked and leaned forward a little too. "But you're just sitting on a sofa. What fun does that hold?"

And after that we both found each other leaning in, so that our noses were almost touching. He whispered, "I'm sitting on the sofa with you, and I really like sitting on the sofa with you, so why should I stop doing it?"

"Because you need to unpack," I said and almost started laughing because of the scowl that his face was now wearing.

"So you don't want me to sit here? If that's the case you could've just said it, Sam. I would have left without a single word," he said and started getting up. But before he could do that, I did something very weird. I...grabbed his toes...with my toes. Like I...interlocked our toes. Go figure.

"I never said I don't want you to sit here," I said while watching him stare at our toes with curiosity. And then he looked up and stared at me with the same curious expression.

He smiled and said, "Then what do you want me to do? I will have to move if I have to unpack."

"Then don't unpack. It's that simple," I said, completely contradicting my earlier statements. But I was having too much fun to care about logic.

He stared at me with a look of amusement and fascination, and said, "You amaze me, you know that?"

I smirked and flipped my hair back and forth and said, "I know. I am amazing." And we both started laughing. I hadn't seen him that happy and carefree in a very long time, and my heart swelled with relief and joy when I saw him laughing. It was reassuring, it let me know that the old Charlie was in there somewhere.

It got quiet eventually. The laughter had died down, the moment was done, and it had come down to only us. We were just sitting, not one of us making a sound. I could only hear us breathing, and I was vaguely aware of the television, but the only thing that really mattered was me and Charlie, together. It wasn't awkward at all, we were just staring at each other with smiles on our faces. He then moved his legs and I slipped in between them so my back was against his torso. He turned me around and without a word started kissing me, and I gladly reciprocated. A few minutes of intense kissing later, my hands moved up his T-shirt, going up and down his torso. I pushed his T-shirt up as much as I could, silently telling him to take it off. He hesitated for a moment and then proceeded to take it off. I understood why, because we hadn't been going to the "take your clothes off" stage, we just stopped at the kissing. I moved closer and he groaned, and wrapped his arms around me a little tighter. And then somehow I was straddling him and he was carrying me to the bedroom. It got even more heated, my hands were all over his body, and he was doing things which made me moan uncharacteristically loudly.

It was all so beautiful and perfect and it seemed like everything was making sense again...until he moved his hands under my shirt.

**AN: cliffie! Yeah, I know these chapters are slow and rushed and pathetic, but there's a lot coming up soon! I promise it'll get better. **

**Is it true that the US government is removing the fanfiction site? **

**You know what's next...REVIEW!**


	26. Chapter 25: Scar

**AN: yay lots of [pathetic] updates! This week will get a lot of updates since I'm sick and at home, but it'll get quiet again starting next week or something, but like I said I'll try to update whenever I find time. This chapter will finally have something other than fillers and this is an important-ish chapter. Okay then.**

**The song for this chapter is... JUST A KISS BY LADY ANTEBELLUM!**

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

It was all so beautiful and perfect and it seemed like everything was making sense again...until he moved his hands under my shirt.

I tensed as they made a trail up my back and then came back down, even though it felt good I didn't want him to go to my stomach. I kept kissing him and moved my hand from his hair to his arm so I could stop him when he reached my stomach. His hands had reached my waist and were moving towards my stomach, and even though a part of me didn't want him to stop, I couldn't let him see that scar. I wasn't ready. He was getting closer, and that's when I moved his hands away and broke off the kiss. He looked confused, and a little worried, but I didn't say anything.

"What is it, Sam? Did I...did I do something wrong?"

"No! No, Charlie. You did nothing wrong. That felt great," I said.

"Then...why did you stop?" Dread filled me as Charlie asked this question, because I didn't think I could answer it. I knew he was ready to go all the way, and I knew I was too, the only thing that stopped me was the scar.

"It was...um...I-uh...nothing..."

He was quiet. I looked at him to see him scowling at my stomach, right where the scar was, and I stopped my hands from going up and covering it. He moved his hand and brought it closer to my stomach and I stopped him.

"Don't, Charlie...please," I whispered.

"Sam... I know what you're trying to hide from me. I know it's there," he whispered and instead put his hand on my waist and pulled me closer. He rubbed my back soothingly, and I knew he was silently telling me to relax, so I did and put my head in the crook of his neck, and wrapped my arms around him tightly. I knew he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't. I didn't know what to say.

"Sam...why are you trying to hide it from me?" He asked gently. Tears were forming in my eyes, I blinked them away.

"I don't want you to see it," I whispered.

"Why not?" He asked. I couldn't control the sob that followed, or the tears that were flowing down freely.

"I-I... I don't want you to think of it as something...bad, or ugly. I don't want you to...love me less because of it," I whispered weakly. I was crying full on now, and everything seemed so terrible in that moment. I was never one to think like that, but I just couldn't help but wonder why this happened to us. Because we were good people. And I didn't think we deserved it.

Charlie sighed heavily, and cupped my face to make me look at him, I didn't.

"Sam, look at me," he said. I lifted my eyes to meet his sincere and honest ones.

He told me something very important. He said, "I would never do that, Sam. And I know you know it. You were always the most beautiful person in the world, and scar or no scar, no matter what, you are and will always be the most beautiful person in the world. And I want you to know this, it doesn't matter that you have the scar, and it will never matter, because it won't make me love you any less. Nothing will ever make me love you any less, I can promise you that."

What he said made me feel better, and it also made me cry harder, because I had a feeling that his words would change if I let him see it. I don't know what made me so conscious about it, I really didn't. But it was driving me crazy.

"I know-I know you're not that kind of a guy, but what if-what if you..." I trailed off.

"Then why don't you let me see it?" He asked, making me look up at him with an expression of shock.

"Let me see it, Sam. Let me see it and your question will be answered," he said.

I shook my head and said, "I can't. I'm sorry." He sighed and wiped the tears off my face.

"Can I touch it?" He whispered after a few moments of silence. I didn't say anything for a long time, and he waited patiently for my answer.

"Okay," I said. I figured it wouldn't hurt to make a start. What I didn't know was how hard it was going to be. I turned on my back, already regretting saying yes to his request, and he came closer and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"It's okay," he whispered. His lips stayed on my forehead along with one hand, which was softly brushing my hair, while his other hand slowly went down to the hem of my T-shirt. He gently pushed it up, very slowly, and kept whispering reassuring nothing's. I was silently sobbing the whole time. He pushed it up to my chest and left it there, and his fingers started going down to where the scar began. I put my hand on his to stop him, and he waited for me to calm down, repeatedly kissing my forehead. I reluctantly let his hand go but he didn't move it for a few moments more. He slowly inched down had reached the place where the scar began and I flinched, making him stop. It was all too painful, but now there was no going back. I nodded softly to let him know he could go on. His fingers followed the long, jagged line that ran along my stomach to my ribcage, it was surprisingly comforting. I realised I had been holding my breath in as I let it out.

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked looking me in the eyes.

"Yes," I said. I realised I wasn't crying anymore, so I wiped my tears off my face. I searched his eyes for some sign as to how he was feeling, but the only thing I could see in those blue orbs was worry and concern. I took a breath and decided to do something. Something I wouldn't have even dreamt of doing ten minutes ago.

"Do you want to see it?" I whispered, and he looked shocked.

"Are you sure? You don't-you don't have to if you're not comfortable..."

"No...I'm-I'm sure."

"Okay." He placed a kiss on my lips and sat up. He turned to face my stomach and...nothing. He kept staring at it with a blank expression while running his fingers over it and that's it. He turned to look at me, and I sat up too.

He cupped my face with his hands and said, "It doesn't matter that you have this. I still love you and you're still the most beautiful person in the world, the scar will never change that. I think this makes you even more beautiful, because you went through something like that and you survived, and you're trying to move on. It's not easy to do that, you know."

I smiled and kissed him deeply. Now that this was over and he had seen it and felt it, I felt really stupid for thinking like that. How could I ever imagine Charlie behaving like that? I had been with him long enough to know that superficial things like this never bothered him, and would never lessen his love for me. He was too good to do that.

"Thank you, Charlie. You made this a lot easier." I said. He smiled and kissed me again. And for a while, things seemed okay. They seemed reparable.

**AN: all done! Yippee! So maybe after a chapter or two there will be some change. So yeah. **

**Enjoy and review!**


	27. Chapter 26: Two Years

**AN: hello there! Well, I had to remove my songfic one shot after I found out that songfics are apparently not allowed. So in this chapter I will skip to a time two years later. I was planning to do that after another chapter but I didn't see any point in that so I'm doing it now. **

**I want to let you all know that this story is nearing its end. It's very close. Something is about to happen and Sam's life is about to change...again... Well, at least we know she's having an interesting life. **

**The song for this chapter is... SUN BY TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB! **

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

*2 years later*

The past two years were interesting, and definitely the best of my life. With Charlie's help, I had managed to leave the accident and the damage it caused behind. I was past being conscious about the scar, a month after the night I let Charlie see the scar, we had sex. It wasn't planned, it just happened. We went for our vacation, we went to the Bahamas just like we planned. We were on the terrace of the penthouse, just talking. And we started talking about our memories of school, we were happy and laughing and nostalgic, thinking of those good and bad times. Eventually, we started talking about the time I was in college and he was still in school, now it was much easier for us to talk about our complicated feelings for each other back then. He confessed that he still loved me back then, he said he'd never once stopped loving me, even in Canada. We talked more about the past few months, our reunion, getting together, and eventually we started discussing the Pittsburgh trip. That night was the first time I told him about my struggle to get out of the coma. He listened patiently, and held me when I cried. That night was also the first time he told me how he coped with it, and what all the doctor really said, and how scared he really was. And I held him when he cried. That night everything started making sad sense. I don't even remember how we started kissing, but we did and it was intense and passionate. And the next thing I knew we were stumbling back to the bedroom, our clothes were gone, and our lips and hands were all over our bodies. Nothing mattered except that bed and the both of us in it. We didn't even realise when we started doing it, but we didn't stop, not even to see if the other was okay. Because stopping was out of the question that night. But in any case, it was great. It made me realise how much I missed being intimate with him, how much I missed holding him close to me, how much I missed touching him. Next morning though, it took me fifteen minutes to calm him down after he realised what we did the night before. He asked me ridiculous questions, did he hurt me, was he too harsh, was I ready, why didn't I stop him, that sort. I told him to shut up, I told him he didn't hurt me, and he wasn't harsh, that last night was perfect and I was ready for it, and I didn't stop him because I didn't want him to stop.

"Oh...well. Good morning," that, along with a sheepish smile was his attempt to cover up his panic attack.

"You're so annoying," I said, though he knew I wasn't serious because I was smiling. He chuckled, looking a little red and kissed me.

The most polite way of putting our behaviour during that vacation in words would be this: we were literally all over each other after that night.

After we came back, we tried to get back into our old routine. I went back to work, Charlie went back to writing, and for the rest of the year things were normal. When Christmas and New Years came, he told me he had never seen Times Square on New Years Eve, and I told him that if he hadn't seen that, he hadn't lived. So, we decided we were going to go to Times Square on New Years Eve. We did and it was amazing, even though it wasn't a very good spot and we were constantly being squished by the flood of people, I couldn't have thought of spending it anywhere else. And we acted like those cliché couples from those romantic movies and kissed when the clock hit twelve. The next year was interesting, we traveled to France for Alice's wedding. She got married to a native French guy, and it wasn't hard speaking to him because he knew how to speak English. I was a little skeptical about the marriage at first, but Alice said that she had taken the decision to marry him after taking everything into consideration, and it was okay that they hadn't been together for that long because she loved him, and he loved her, and they made each other happy. Later that year I bought my apartment back, if not for that raise, that apartment would've slipped out of my hands. Charlie didn't say anything or object to the purchase, but I told him the reason anyway. I bought it so that if we ever had a fight or an argument, and one of us needed space, they could go there and calm down. I also just bought it because I liked it. We bought some furniture for it and now it's just there. Sometimes Charlie goes there to write, sometimes I have slumber parties with my friends there, while Charlie invites his guy friends. Charlie also started working on a new novel at the end of that year.

The year after that was mainly uneventful apart from Alice getting pregnant, us going over to San Francisco to visit Patrick and Connor, and their new born baby girl (from a surrogate). I later found out that they had named her after me. When I asked why, Patrick said that he wanted her to be as strong as I had been so that she can face whatever challenges that come her way. By the end of that year, Charlie finished writing the final draft of his book, and sent it for editing. Also, we found out where Bob had been. Patrick found his mother, who told him that Bob had passed on many years ago, his cancer came back very aggressively and had spread to all his vital organs. He lost the battle after only six months of chemotherapy. We held a special memorial service for him, since we didn't get to say goodbye. Mary Elizabeth, Patrick and Alice also flew in for it, and that was the first time since the accident that we went back to Pittsburgh. Mary Elizabeth left two days after the service, Alice left the week after that, only Patrick, Charlie and I stayed a little longer. After a big argument and lots of debates and discussions later, I convinced Charlie to come with me to visit my parents. To make his mood a little better, we visited his parents first. His dad was working so we couldn't see him that day, but we came back for dinner two days later. His mom was quite surprised to see me with him, and we had to tell her everything that happened twice just so she could believe it. I still don't think she does. That was the first time someone apart from me or Charlie brought up marriage. She asked us if we planned on getting married anytime soon since we had been together for so long. We didn't think we'd be put on the spot for something like that, so there was a lot of stuttering and stammering and mumbling. Eventually I just said that we were open to the option but we didn't think the time was right now. When it was time to go she said she was extremely happy that we came to visit and that we were a couple. Then she invited us to dinner, we said yes. After that Charlie was in a significantly better mood, so it was easier for him to not explode when we arrived at the house. He suddenly got very protective, and held me very close to him the whole time. Or if he had to (unwillingly) let me go, he would always be right behind me, following me around like my shadow. The visit itself was suffocatingly awkward, my mom was okay, but Paul was...well...awkward. He didn't misbehave, I think he was afraid that Charlie would beat him up if he did. None of us could pluck up the courage to talk about the things we probably should've talked about, well, Charlie was too busy fuming and being my bodyguard. So it was just awkward small talk. After an hour or two we said we had to go, and we left as Charlie glared at Paul and I hugged my mom. I decided to not acknowledge Paul. When we reached the hotel I suggested that we celebrate since all of us made it out of there alive. Patrick didn't come along with us, but as it turns out his visit was as awkward as ours. Well, I guess last year was quite eventful.

At the start of this year Charlie got busy with the cover and printing of his book, and I got busy working hard for a massive promotion. And that's all we've been doing for the past six months. Charlie has been extremely busy because the book was published two months back, and he has been doing interviews, attending book signings and everything to promote it. I had to get used to all this all over again, because everything was considerably quiet since the past two years. And now he had everyone's attention again since it was his first book in three years, apparently. Therefore everyone again wanted to know what he was up to all the time and I saw more pictures of us in magazines. It helped my frustration that I only saw him at night these days and he was usually too tired to talk.

He came home early last night, he came home very early. And the news he had to share with me made me ache for the days I only got to see him at night. Because three weeks later I wouldn't be seeing him for four months.

**AN: they can never have a quiet life, can they? Well, that's what they get for having an evil author like me. So what do you think happened? Why won't Sam see Charlie for four months?! Keep reading to find out! **

**You know what's next... REVIEW!**


	28. Chapter 27: The News

**AN: hello there! So, this is an important chapter! Charlie will tell Sam why she won't be seeing him for four months. You know, I should've done a quiz or something about this. I never think of these things until it's too late. Oh well. **

**A depressing reminder: this story is getting closer to its end with each chapter. What will I do with my life after this is over? I guess I'll get back to the one shots and finish Love Again. And I also have this idea where Charlie is a member of the band Mumford & Sons and Sam is a fan, and they meet at a concert and become friends and you know...what do ya'll think? PM or review and let me know!**

**And 14,000 views! Oh my gods. And so many follows and favourites and reviews! Wow, thank you all so much for this support, I couldn't have done this without you guys. Thank you. **

**The song for this chapter is... UNFORTUNATE BY MACKINTOSH BRAUN! **

**Enjoy and review! **

Sam's PoV:

Charlie came home early last night, he came home very early. And the news he had to share with me made me ache for the days I only got to see him at night. Because three weeks later I wouldn't be seeing him for four months.

I heard the click of the lock on the door at six o'clock, which surprised me because the only person except me who had the keys was Charlie, and he came home late at night these days. Why was he so early? I didn't mind because I would finally get to spend some time with him. I walked out of the kitchen with my granola bar to the living room to see him slumping down on the couch while undoing his tie. He then put his head in his hands, that wasn't a good sign. I walked towards him, a little worried, waiting for him to acknowledge my presence. As my footsteps got closer to where he was sitting, he looked up and turned to see me, and a smile found its way to his face. I saw it falter, though, as if he remembered something bad that was going to happen.

I ignored it and said, "Hi, Charlie. How are you home so early?"

He pulled me closer and pecked me on the lips and said, "Hi, Sam. Yeah, I-uh, I finished work...early. The publishers-they told me to go early because my work was done...yeah."

I had my head on his shoulder, his arms were wrapped around me and one hand was brushing my hair. With my mouth full of the granola bar, I said, "Oh, okay. That's good. You'll finally get to rest a little." Silence. I wondered if he had fallen asleep or something.

He finally mumbled, "Hm, what? Oh yeah, you're right. I'll get to...rest, yes."

I sighed and said, "What's wrong, Charlie? Bad day?"

More mumbling, "Oh...um...no! I'm just...tired, yeah I'm tired." It was almost as if he was trying to convince himself that he was tired.

After five minutes of awkward silence, he absentmindedly said, "I'll go get something to eat. Do you want something?"

"I'm eating a granola bar, Charlie," I said. I was getting a little worried, why was he so disoriented? There had to be something he wasn't telling me.

"Oh, right. Okay," he said and walked into the kitchen.

He didn't come back for fifteen minutes. And when he did, he wasn't eating anything. I watched him walk back to where I was sitting. He looked very stressed, and sort of upset. He didn't sit next to me, instead he kneeled down on his knees on the floor and took my hands in his.

I was so confused. What was going on? With a confused expression I asked, "What is it, Charlie?"

He looked down and sighed heavily, as if whatever he was going to say was giving him awful pain. "I had a meeting with my publishers and management team today," he started.

"Okay...? And?"

"And...I have to...I have to leave for Europe after three weeks." That's it? He wouldn't be gone for long, would he? Fifteen days, at the most?

"Oh, okay. What for? How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"It's a reading tour, to promote the book overseas. I'll be gone for...it's a four month long tour," he whispered, looking at the floor.

Four months. He'll be gone for four months. "Oh." That was all I could manage to say. He looked at me apprehensively, he wanted me to say something about it. I stared back, feeling angry. I don't know what I was angry about.

"What do you want me to say? If you have to go, you have to go. Go pack your clothes or something," I said harshly. He stared at me with shock, he wasn't expecting me to be so harsh with him. He didn't actually expect me to run after him begging him to stay, did he? He should know it well enough that I wasn't one to do that. But after a while I realised my anger was actually fear. I was afraid that Canada would happen again. I was afraid that he would leave and not come back after four months. And these thoughts made me want to run after him and beg him to stay. These thoughts stopped me from looking into his eyes when I said what I said.

"I know what you're thinking, Sam," he said, still not looking at me.

"Yeah? Then tell me, tell me what I'm thinking!"

"You're thinking I'll leave and I won't come back after four months."

"You know I have a good reason to think like that."

"Sam, back then I didn't have anything to come back to. My parents were okay with wherever I was as long as I earned money, and when I came to visit you after that long time your mom said you had moved, so had Patrick, so had Alice and Mary Elizabeth. What would I do there all alone? And as far as I know two years ago...that was the first time in years you went there. But it's different now, I have my whole life to come back to. I have a home, I have family, I have friends, but most importantly I have you. Do you really think I would leave someone as important as you and live in a place where I don't know anyone? Do you really think I would do something that stupid?" He said, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. Even a blind person would have seen the honesty and sincerity in his eyes, but for some reason I was too stubborn to believe him.

"Yeah, maybe I do. And I'll say it again, I have a very good reason to. Fine, you couldn't come to visit for a long time, I understand. But couldn't you call? Were you too busy to write a letter? You couldn't find fifteen minutes?" I said, raising my voice. That's when he got up and made a frustrated noise.

"So that's what this is about, now? You really think I didn't try to call? That I didn't try to write letters? Maybe if you'd told me the small, insignificant detail that you and your family had moved, maybe I wouldn't have got a reply from a stranger saying that I probably had the wrong address! You changed your phone numbers, everything! And when I came back, it took me three days to find your parents, and then they told me that you had moved to New York three months ago. How was I supposed to contact you? Tell me! And tell me what good is this doing now? Tell me, what's the point of this?" He said, raising his voice too. He was walking around with that frustrated and fed up look on his face, as if it was my fault. How dare he put this on me?

"The point of this is that I don't want to get hurt. Why can't you understand that?"

He stopped walking around and stared at me. Then, he walked closer to me, put his hands on my shoulders and said, "I won't hurt you, Sam. I will come back, I promise."

I looked away from him and said, "Don't make promises you can't keep, Charlie." I felt his arms stiffen, I looked up to see his clenched jaw.

His arms slackened and dropped from my shoulders. He looked defeated. Finally he just said, "I'm sorry." And he walked away.

We didn't speak to each other the rest of the night, and went to bed without a word.

*one week later*

Charlie and I haven't spoken to each other since the fight last week, and it's been awful. Because he's leaving in two weeks and as much as I feel angry that he's going I don't want us to part on such a bad note. If we do, the four months that will follow will be the worst of our lives. And I know that all the bitterness and regret won't do us any good. But when it comes to taking the step and talking to him, I seem to lose all my courage. So all we've been doing all week is awkwardly sneak glances at each other in hopes that the other will take the first step. Apparently even he isn't brave enough to talk first.

But last night we both found the courage to talk to each other. I came home from work to find Charlie sitting on the couch. Lately I refused to acknowledge him, but last night I decided that this couldn't go on forever. So after five minutes of awkward staring, I said, "Hi." He jumped and looked around, as if making sure I was talking to him. It almost made me laugh.

He stood up and took a few steps closer, so there was only the coffee table between us. "Hi," he said, a faint but hopeful smile on his face.

"Have you...have you started packing up?" I asked.

"Yes, I have."

"Oh. Okay." Awkward silence.

He took a couple of more steps forward, so there was only an arm's length distance between us.

He spoke up, "Sam, I know you're upset about this, and you have every right to. But can we spend these two weeks together before I have to go? I don't want to leave, and I really don't want to leave with us fighting like this. So..."

I sighed and hugged him tightly and said, "You're right. I don't want to fight either. I was just a little...shocked. I'm sorry."

He kissed my cheek and said, "Don't be sorry. Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Okay."

**AN: Charlie's going to Europe?! How...when...what?! Mwohahahaha... I'm so evil...so how will they spend the last two weeks? How will Sam cope with not seeing Charlie for four months? Keep reading to find out! **

**What do you think will happen next in the story? How do you think they'll end up in the end? Let me know!**

**You know what's next... REVIEW!**


	29. Chapter 28: The Last Days

**AN: hello there! This will be the last update of the week since I am leaving for school tomorrow. So yeah. I will try to fit in as much as I possibly can in this chapter, so don't mind if it seems rushed. This is basically about Charlie and Sam's last two weeks together and how she comes to terms with him packing and getting ready and leaving and everything. Okay, so here we go. **

**The song for this chapter is... HATE TO SEE YOUR HEART BREAK BY PARAMORE!**

**Enjoy and review!**

Sam's PoV:

It was getting increasingly harder for me to control my emotions as the days went by. Because one day gone meant one day less with Charlie. So to keep myself distracted I tried to figure out how I fell so hopelessly in love with him, and why his trip was bothering me so much. The Canada thing was different, but the idea of not being able to see him or be near him was for some reason very painful. Therefore, to spend as much time with him as I possibly could, I pushed my emotions aside and helped him pack. Apparently, men didn't need as many clothes as women did for a four month trip, "and there's always laundry, you know!" Charlie told me. So he was taking one big suitcase and one small suitcase, and a backpack with all his work things.

During this time, he also told me about his schedule in Europe. He said he would first stop in France, where he would obviously visit Alice, then after visiting a few cities there, he'd go to Austria and Germany, and after visiting many cities there he'd go to Italy, and the last two months would be spent in the UK. He said he was spending two months there because he had a good readership there, so the publishers wanted to expand the "fan-base." I joked about the British accent he would get by living there for so long. He quoted a remark I made about British accents once. I said I found them extremely attractive.

"But you find British accents attractive, don't you?" He asked me.

"I do, but I don't think it would suit you. You're not the British accent kind of guy. So try and not get an accent."

"I don't think I'll have enough time to focus on not getting an accent. I'll be travelling nearly every week."

I just nodded. I still wasn't very good at carrying a conversation about this. I knew he noticed my discomfort when we talked about this, and I heard him sigh more often than I'd like. Whenever we weren't packing we were talking about the ways we could talk to each other in. Video chatting, email, phone, he suggested many ways, and I just agreed. Any way with which I could talk to him more, was fine by me. Or we were sitting in the living room or in the bedroom watching movies and cuddling. Or if not that we would try to time to be kissing or making out or doing other things to make each other feel better.

Charlie said he wanted to finish packing this week so that we could spend even more time with each other in our last week together. I was completely fine with that. So usually we were just packing all day long. There was just so much to keep! Work clothes, regular clothes, night clothes, underclothes, sweaters, just in case it gets cold, toiletries, and what not. We even had to go shopping because he didn't have enough work clothes to last for four long months. And quite honestly, Charlie really is colourblind when it comes to clothes. He picked out the wildest of clothes, and he actually thought they looked good. We were fifteen minutes into the shopping trip when I had to step in, I couldn't let him buy the things he was picking out. So I picked out clothes and threw them at him to try, and only with my permission was he allowed to purchase anything. Sometimes he followed me around giving me suggestions, or sometimes he would go sit somewhere and grumble about how finicky girls are. I told him to suck it up and go to the trial room. By the end of the day I was satisfied with whatever shopping we had done. When we reached home Charlie dramatically collapsed on the couch and said, "Remind me to never take you shopping for my clothes again."

I shoved him and said, "Remind me to try and not laugh when you embarrass yourself in front of the world with your ridiculous sense of fashion. Seriously, were you shopping to work for a circus or something?"

"No, Sam. I'm very happy with what I do right now. I just...don't know how to buy clothes. All those older suits I have, my sister helped me buy them. So it's not my fault."

"I'm going to call your sister tomorrow to thank her," I said, smirking.

"Don't you think you're being a little too harsh, Sam?" He asked, scowling at me.

"No, I'm not being harsh at all," I said innocently. That's when he jumped on me and pinned me down on the couch, and started tickling me. I started giggling like a crazy person. I'm just very ticklish, anywhere you touch me I'll start giggling. It's kind of a weakness of mine.

"I didn't know you were ticklish, Sam. You never told me," he said while poking my side, which made me squirm uncontrollably under him.

"You-you...n-never ask-asked," I stammered. And after that we made eye contact, and something made him stop, and we were staring at each other, and found ourselves leaning in. Our lips met and I realised how long it had been since I last kissed him properly. We deepened the kiss and nothing else mattered. That was the first time in days I had lived in the moment instead of thinking about what it would be like two weeks from now. In that moment it didn't matter that he was leaving and we weren't going to see each other for four months. And sometimes, that's all you can ask for.

We didn't actually stop kissing, and we did everything that kissing eventually leads to. It felt quite good.

*final week before the flight*

Charlie and I had been sort of...all over each other the last week before he had to go. We just didn't come out of the bedroom much, but it was not all lust and sex. We talked about a lot things, things we usually avoided. By talking about them, I think he was trying to let me know that he was serious about...us. That he didn't want to let whatever we had go. I tried to not think about it too much like he told me to, but sometimes you can't help when these things come to mind. We spoke about how we were going to figure out talking to each other with the time difference, and we talked about how we would tell each other everything through whichever medium of communication no matter what. Now that we were discussing all this, it didn't seem all that bad. Yes, it was still awful that he'd be miles away for so long but he was willing to do everything he could to not let the distance come in between us, and so was I, so I didn't think it would be that bad. Hopefully.

We had just come down from the high of all that...physical exercise we had done, and were laying in bed. I was leaning against the headboard, and Charlie had his head resting on my shoulder and his arms were wrapped around my waist. I was brushing my fingers through his hair, and we were just sitting there in comfortable silence. He glanced up at me and I smiled at him.

He groaned and then he sighed, and said, "I don't want to go."

"I would tell you to stay, but you have to go," I replied.

He groaned some more, and suddenly his eyes brightened up like he just got the most amazing idea ever. "What?" I asked.

"Come with me!" He said excitedly and propped his head up on his elbow.

"Charlie, as much as I would love to travel all of Europe with you, I can't come with you," I said, and turned a little to face him.

"Why?" He whined.

"I have a job, Charlie. And you know how important that promotion is for me. You know I would go with you if I could, I love to travel," I said and turned completely on my side to face him, and started running my fingers through his hair again. He smiled and put his arm around my waist again.

"But why does that have to stop you from coming a little closer?" He asked, pulling me close to his body.

"Who said anything was stopping me from coming closer?" I said and kissed him softly. And we fell asleep in each other's arms, just like that.

*day of the flight*

The day of the flight had come. And it was time for Charlie to go. I had made a promise to myself that I would not cry no matter how emotional everything got. I wanted us to part on the happiest note possible. I knew he wanted the same too, because he was smiling a lot and talked about happy things. We had spent the entire morning together, rechecking his bags and making sure he had everything, and after that we just sat close together, making the most of every moment we had before leaving for the airport. Most of the time we were silent, but we did talk to each other, and made sure the other was okay. He kept telling me that he'd miss me, and I kissed him every time he did. And eventually it was time to leave.

We drove to the airport in silence, but I could feel that none of us were looking forward to saying bye when the time comes. We were halfway there when he grabbed my hand and held it tightly, but didn't say anything. I tried to absorb as many details about him as I possibly could, his tousled and messy black hair, his calm, blue eyes, his strong posture, his warm and gentle yet firm grip on my hand.

We reached the airport, and the moment I had silently been dreading for three weeks. I saw Charlie look down and sigh, I suppose he had been dreading it too. We got out silently and as I helped him put his suitcases on the luggage I felt his intense gaze on my face. After we placed them properly I walked closer to him and flung myself in his arms, and felt him hug me back tightly and nuzzle his nose in my hair.

"I'll miss you," I whispered. He pulled back slightly, just so he could see my face. He held my waist with one arm and cupped my face with his other hand and caressed it with his thumb. I'm not sure who leaned in first, but we did and kissed passionately. I forced myself to pull back and placed a peck on his lips. I pulled back because I knew if I didn't, we wouldn't be able to let go of each other.

He kissed me again and said, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I'll call tomorrow when I reach, okay?" He said as he continued to hold me close to him.

"Okay," I said and kissed him one last time before saying, "now go. You don't want to miss your flight."

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine again, and reluctantly let my waist go, but our hands found each other. It was too hard to let go. We both sighed, and started to let each other's hands go. Our fingers lingered onto each other, and I wanted him to stay.

"Bye," I said, dropping my hands.

"Bye," he said and started walking away to the gate with the luggage trolley. I didn't leave until I couldn't see him anymore, and when I did I finally let out the tears I'd been holding in all this while. I sat in the car for a few minutes to calm down, and drove away.

I drove around for a while before going home. I walked up to the apartment, remembering all the times I did the same with Charlie, and the first time he brought me here. I kept walking and I didn't realise I had arrived.

Where did I keep the keys?

I searched my bag for the keys, looking through everything I had stuffed in it. I had almost got my hands on the key when my eye fell on something else. A purple compact box with tablets in it. My birth control pills. I realised something and sat down on the floor against the wall as dread washed over me like someone had poured a bucket of ice could water over my head. How could I make a mistake like that? Especially now?

I hadn't taken my birth control pill in two weeks. And Charlie and I had a lot of unprotected sex in the last seven days. I couldn't be...could I?

**AN: *gasp* what now? Well, I ain't givin' no spoilers, so ya'll just have to keep reading!**

**You know what's next...REVIEW!**


	30. Chapter 29: Confirmation

**AN: short and pathetic update time! Yeah. So I've been really busy and really sleepy lately, I swear, I'm like a sleeping monster. So this chapter is two months after Charlie left, and Sam is trying to deal with this unexpected thing that happened to her. *SPOILER ALERT* she is pregnant. Hehehe.**

**HAS ANYONE HERE HEARD "ATLAS" FROM THE CATCHING FIRE SOUNDTRACK? SONGS LIKE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO END. I swear. **

**Anyway... The song for this chapter is... THE A TEAM BY ED SHEERAN! Go gingers. **

Sam's PoV

*two months after Charlie's departure*

I was late.

Five days late.

I had never been a day late in my life. I had been observing my behaviour like a hawk since I found my pills in my bag. I saw all the signs, I was getting weird cravings, I felt more tired than usual, I was extremely moody, and I had thrown up three times, and I hadn't eaten anything bad. I'm not going to lie, I was scared. In fact I was terrified. I was so terrified I didn't even call Charlie to tell him what I suspected. I was so terrified I moved out of his house and back to my apartment. It was horrible living there, because I had never felt more at home than with Charlie. He had been trying to reach me desperately, he called me everyday for hours, and all I could do was sit and stare at the phone ringing. He sent me endless emails, the first email was happy, and told me all about what his first day was like, and how much he missed me. The second email asked me if I was busy, because I hadn't replied to the previous one. The third one asked me if I was okay, and told me to speak to him as soon as I possibly could because he was worried. The fourth email told me he was really worried, and I needed to please call him or text him or write to him fast, because he needed to know I was fine. The fifth one asked me if I was cutting myself off because I thought he wouldn't come back again, and if I was he wanted to let me know he loved me too much to live without me, and he would come back, "I promise," he said. From the sixth email he gave up on trying to get me to respond, and just told me about his day and all the cities he visited and all the nice fans he met, and he always told me he loved me and he missed me and he couldn't wait to come home. He never stopped calling me, and he never stopped writing, even though I think I knew he wasn't expecting me to answer, but that didn't seem to make him stop. I read every email, and I wrote a reply to every email, I just couldn't bring myself to hit 'send.' As much as I wanted to tell him I missed him too, and I loved him too, and I needed him here, I wasn't courageous enough. I wasn't even sure why I needed courage to talk to him. Maybe the fact that I was possibly expecting a child he and I accidentally made together complicated things way more than they needed to be. But in the last month, I decided that if I did turn out to be pregnant, I would keep the baby.

I did occasionally wonder what it would be like when Charlie came back and I had a protruding baby bump, and what it would be like if we met like that. I wasn't particularly looking forward to it, but the thought of seeing him again always made me go week in the knees.

I had an appointment with the doctor today, I had the blood test done and she had called me to tell me the result. I had reached a point where I didn't even care anymore, I guess I was pretty sure that I was P-word. So the only thing I was really concerned about was what would I do if I was, and how I planned to tell Charlie; I knew I had to.

Somebody tapped my shoulder and shook me out of my thoughts to tell me it was my turn. I glanced at the happy pregnant women I'd been watching and walked in to the office, thinking about what my life would be like with a baby.

The doctor smiled at me and asked, "So, how've you been, Sam?"

"I've been okay," I mumbled.

"Any weird cravings, mood swings, tiredness?"

I nodded and said, "Yeah. All of the above."

She smiled again and nodded. "Very well. So I have your test results, but I would like to ask you something, if you don't mind."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Where is your..." She trailed off. I had been expecting this question to pop up for a while.

"My boyfriend. He is in Europe right now, and I haven't told him yet. I want to be absolutely sure before I tell him."

"Are you both serious enough for a responsibility like this?"

"We are. Can I have the results please?" I asked rudely.

"Yes, of course. Well, congratulations Sam. You're pregnant," she said and smiled. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but whatever it was it wasn't bad. It felt oddly warm and comforting. I was somewhere on the verge of happy, but not quite. It would have been completely different if Charlie was there, though. If he was with me I would jump around and feel amazingly happy, because a family with someone like him would just about be the best thing to ever happen to me.

I didn't say anything more than, "How far along am I?"

"A little over a month. I'll schedule an ultrasound after two weeks," she said.

"Oh, okay. Thank you."

I walked out in a daze, thinking about how I would tell Charlie, much less believe it myself. I stumbled home in the same daze and sat on the sofa for about two hours thinking of ways to tell him the news. Eventually I decided to just write him an email, so I wouldn't have to see him or hear his reaction when I told him.

My email went something like this:

Subject: Hi. I have something to tell you.

Dear Charlie,

Hi. Sorry I haven't kept in touch with you, I've been...busy. So...the day you left, I found my birth control pills in my bag and I realised I hadn't taken them in two weeks, and we had been quite all over each other since then. So I had the test done, and I'm pregnant. Just thought I should let you know. How are you?

Love,

Sam.

Pathetic, I know. I didn't know what to say! I'd honestly never broken news like that to anyone through email. I wrote it and stared at the screen for another two hours. By the time I decided what to do it was already past midnight. I stared some more, and with each second the rush I had got to write the mail faded away and I lost control of my hands as they saved the mail as a draft. I sat there, thinking about what I had done, and whether or not I should change it, but after a while I just couldn't. So I got up and went to bed, and somewhere along that time, my hands went down to my uterus and held it for the rest of the night.

**AN: I'm so sorry I keep posting these short chapters, but I don't have enough time on weekends and I really like to update. So I wanted to let you guys know that I'm wrapping this story up in a few more chapters, and then I'll see what I want to do. Most probably I'll finish Love Again, though I really have nothing planned for it. We'll just have to see. **

**You know what's next... REVIEW! **


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